I Can Only Imagine...

Difficult

2012-01-19T18:50:00.001-08:00

I'm sure I've blogged about this before.

But I hate it when people use "difficult" as an excuse.

I had to deal with that today--

With people who couldn't imagine that someone with a disability could do most any job--

Cause it would be "difficult"--

Big whoop--is what I say!

As if life is easy?

Some people just can't seem to fathom that there are people with all types of disabilities who do all types of jobs.

--that there are people with all types of disabilities who go to college, or raise families, who have independent, fulfilling lives.

I said today that if I had a specific disability that I would want people to know that I was capable and independent.

And some people looked at me amazed.

Oh my stupid!!! And "pity" full!!!!

It is when I just want to tell people "Who do you think you are? What, because life is hard, it should not be tried? Don't sit there and feel sorry for people, in your little "box" that tells you how the world is supposed to be!"

Get outside the box people--try Googling a little bit--and broaden your dumb mind!!!

The number one thing that holds back people with disabilities is NOT their disability--

It's other people's lousy and "pity" full attitudes!!!

And lack of ability to think outside their boring little boxes--and see HOW things could be, instead of how difficult they think it is or would be!

Thank you for letting me rant and rave! It's been that type of experience today!

Book Review

2011-11-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

Okay--so I've been holding off on this blog entry for a good while.

I've been trying to get through the book:

(dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ by Ferguson & Parsons

For a while now. I have to admit--I've had problems with the book since the first time I laid eyes on it.

So--I've battled internally what to do. Should I publish a review on here, or not?

I mean--usually the rule is "if you can't say anything nice...."

BUT--at the same time, the authors have written a book about a subject that desperately needs to be dealt with in the LDS Church (and others)---and most attempts up to now have either been patronizing and "pity" ful---or filled with out-dated information that is not well researched at all. Even the last "book" provided by the Church (which I do believe is NOT available anymore--thank heaven!) was incredibly outdated--and full of stereotypical information.

So--I decided to do my review this way. First, please know that I'm still not all the way through the book. I've had to take a break most every chapter in order to un-grind my teeth.

So--I'm going to TRY to say 3 positive things, and then summarize the 3 "less than" positive things for anyone interested.

Positive:

1. First, I have to commend both authors for even attempting to write this book. This is a very hard subject, with so many variables (type of disability, type of ward or branch, types of problems, needs, etc.) that the authors should be commended for attempting this project!

2. Of all the chapters I've read thus far, I have been most impressed with the "Getting to Know You" chapter. I think this chapter provides a very concise idea of something parents can do to help introduce their child to new teachers and classes at Church. This chapter has a definite purpose, audience, and is written from a very important perspective: the parents.

3. The authors do make a strong attempt to explain a huge amount of information in a book sized set of writing!

Not as positive:

1. My first large and major issue is that very stigma-full language is used throughout the book--which very easily can reinforce cultural , NOT doctrinal beliefs within the book. Ever heard of "LDS Legends and myths"--yes--there is a lot of language within this book that reinforces such legends and myths. It frustrates me so much that I can't even repeat it here. Beyond that--the only quotes from General Authorities are VERY outdated. Typically, most research based materials should not have quotes older than 10 years--unless the age can be justified as vitally important. Typically, from what I've been taught--this would be true in the Church as well. I would not mind quite as much that there are older quotes from General Authorities except that every time they were used, there was no dating of the quote within the actual text (so it was only referenced via endnotes, not in the text), and no explanation as to why such a quote was used. Also--I could typically think of at least 1-3 more current General Conference talk where the GA's discussed the exact issue the out-dated quote was talking about--that could have been used. It made me wonder how research was completed for the book--as I searched very quickly on lds.org---and found numerous more current texts that could have been used?

2. My first comment leads to my second here--which basically is that the book demonstrates very little if any rigor. IN fact, one of the reasons why reading the book is taking me so long, is that with most every chapter I've become VERY confused as to whom the audience is meant to be, where much of the research and information came from (as much of it is NOT ideas that the authors came up with, and should be FAR better referenced and researched in order to publish about it), and I also become very confused as to the order and purpose of much of the writing. I mean, listing ideas such as "PECS, positive behavior supports, behavior analysis" is great--but when it's obviously not researched well, explained in correct detail, nor referenced correctly, and not connected to the previous chapter (sometimes even the previous section in the current chapter), or the next chapter--well--it makes reading the book for me immensely frustrating. I mean--I've worked personally with some of the people who helped create (as in CREATE them, research them, prove them as worthwhile things to do)--as in those who can actually claim their name on these ideas. So--to see the ideas thrown around, not described well, and then at the end of the chapter basically telling the reader to "pray about it".....I scratch my head and wonder what would happen if I sent the book to those whom can actually claim "ownership" of these ideas. I mean--I hate to say "plaigerism"--cause sure--you can discuss things to a certain percent and it not be that--but really--when actually using the formal names of ideas and well-researched processes--and suggesting them to others (who likely have no idea what you're suggesting--some of which SHOULD NOT be utilized without proper training)--seriously??????? Speechless!

3. Finally--I think my greatest frustration is that I seriously wonder as I've read much of the book if the authors utilized the Disabilities webpage on lds.org---and looked up actual Church Doctrine, as well as the actual statements by the GA's in the Church Handbook--while they were researching for the book? I have often felt while reading the book lost, and/or as if the authors did not utilize these 2 very available resources--because, well, honestly--it seemed obvious to me that there were times that they had not utilized these resources--but should have or could have. I think this is because, at least in my opinion, to write a book about the Gospel and Church, and people with disabilities, and to NOT use these 2 resources well throughout the book--just seems like, well, a huge loss.

Okay--I'll quit with my review now. It is very hard to give a negative review in this Church--as I have recently found--because people see it as someone else "judging" (good thing not many members of the Church have every gotten a PhD--or become movie directors, music producers, and popular authors--cause honestly--from my experience--Church members can often excuse poor work with the claim that they are being "judged")--but in certain places in this world (okay--in most places outside of the "Church"--an honest review is seen by an author as a GOOD thing--and the job of others to assist them in learning HOW to write better (or produce better movies, music, dissertations, etc.). That is the spirit with which I provide this review.

The next time you hear....

2011-11-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

The next time you hear a politician or supposed "religious" leader--or just a famous person talk about how much certain people cost, or how much a health problem costs, or caring for a person with a disability--

And then discusses in some form or manner how it's not worth paying for it in this country....

Remember that this is what Hitler did to convince parents to allow their children with disabilities to be killed in Germany.

REMEMBER too though:

That this is what well known "rich" people in the US and political leaders in different states (and the Federal Government) did in order to justify sterilizing and even killing hundreds of people---

Without ever fully informing them of what was happening to them...

Or disclosing what they (the rich people and government) were doing.

Here's an article to help your remembering:

http://rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/07/8640744-victims-speak-out-about-north-carolina-sterilization-program-which-targeted-women-young-girls-and-blacks

Remember how wrong this seems (from this article). Well--please keep it in mind when you hear people with ANY political beliefs (cause you hear crap like this from both Liberals and Conservatives) try to justifying NOT helping people because they "cost" too much!

Every person was created to be equal--to have equal rights. You should not have to be a certain color, have a specific amount of money, or a specific IQ to be able to be fully informed about what is happening to you, to practice your right to autonomy and personal choice, and have the right to be protected from harm--even if those you need to be protected from (and most especially) are claiming that what they are doing is for your own "good"--or the "good" of the "country" or "state".

REMEMBER!!!!

People...

2011-11-03T21:37:00.001-07:00

Did you know, that when I was around 2 my grandmother caught me playing with dolls, and crying "at" them.

Yep--"at" them. She watched me for a few minutes, and realized that I was very frustrated with them....because those dolls (who were typically representative of people in my imaginative brain) were NOT behaving. They were frustrating me, because they were not "getting" "it"--whatever the heck "it" was.

Fast forward 30 some-odd years later. And sometimes I have week like I have this week.

It sounds mean--judgemental--perhaps even self-righteous of me.

But on weeks like this most of what my mom hears when I call her is "what year is it again?" and "Why are we (meaning the overall "we" on this planet or in this nation) still dealing with this stupidity? With this mis-information?

And WHY are there those whom are supposed to be more "highly" educated still passing on misinformation and poor examples?

This is especially true within my "profession" and passion of educating adolescents with disabilities, and educating their future teachers. AND educating the greater public as a whole about the true potential of people!

I have high expectations. I have seen "best practices" in life, in school, in Church, happen. And I expect others to "be" there--or at least be "getting" there as quickly as possible.

Instead, as is typical with most major "social" changes, change happens sometimes as slow as paint drying!

I've been told before that it's good that I am impatient. That those like me who work in this field, and have this passion, need a certain amount of impatience.

But--on weeks like this....I find it hard to not roll my eyes at people, tell people to wise up, and bluntly say "What year is it again? Why should this be taking so long?"

And--I have to add--that this is especially true in my Church. I grew up seeing the "ideal". Not that my "home" Ward was anywhere near perfect. Believe me....it was not. BUT...I saw children with significant disabilities fully included at Church and as much as possible in the neighborhood since I was in nursery (yes--starting in the 70's!!!) I started volunteering in a full inclusive preschool when I was 11!!! In the 80's people!!! So, when "professionals" (yes--I'm using that term lightly) tell me that things like full inclusion and things like Person First Language are "new"--I bluntly say back "only if 20-30 years is new!" --and again--I say "What year is it?"

I still stand by by believe/testimony: that the Church I belong to should be a leader in this area (fully including people with disabilities) in their home wards and branches--we should be "beyond" the "learning curve"--not behind it.

P.S. Did you also know, that when I was around 2 years old, I used to go outside and work and work how to swing on a swing outside (it was like a glider swing--not a swing swing). I would fall on my bottom over and over again. Sometimes the glider would smack me in the head. I would be crying and crying. But I'd get up over and over again, and try over and over again, until I figured out how to swing on it--and "got "it" done".

Yea--that little girl grew up. And didn't lose that determination. Believe me--just ask my mom! Should I say watch out world???

Yes--I'm being opinionated....

2011-09-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Yes--I'm being opinionated....

I know, I don't know how it "feels" to be a "parent"

But--I do firmly believe that part of being a parent is dealing with the reality of RISK...

No one is promised a perfect family...or a perfect child.

So--to find out that "Some" parents are doing this...claiming that they're doing so to get the "money" to cover their children's care...

Is just plain disgusting!!!

And, I'm happy to report, that I've heard from quite a few parents...of children with disabilities...who AGREE!!!

Seriously....this is practically as ick as the parents who had their child sterilized--including having her breasts removed--so she would stay a "child" forever---and purposely stunted her growth (rather than, oh, I don't know, requesting their insurance pay for a lift for their family or something!!!) so they would not have to "lift" her when she was older. They went to court over it...had to search for doctors who would purposefully maim their child.

Seriously--seriously!!! Or parents who purposefully have plastic surgery done on their child with Down Syndrome--so they look less "Downs".

Some will say I'm judgmental....but I disagree with parents who approve their teenagers get plastic surgery just to "look" better (you know, breast implants at 14) anyway!!!!

Children are not sent here to "be" whatever their parents demand. They're here to receive their opportunity at this Earth life, to be tested, tried. To gain whatever potential they can. They are here to be members of their families and society--they are NOT sent here to "fulfill" their parent's dreams, goals, and demands.

And yes--I'm pretty opinionated about that. It's supposed to be the parents helping the children obtain the children's "dreams"--not the other way around.

I guess I was blessed to have parents who understand that reality!

Here's the article:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/couple-wins-4-5-million-in-wrongful-birth-lawsuit-after-claiming-they-would-have-aborted-disabled-son/

Unfortunately....

2011-09-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, time changes things....

A couple weeks ago I posted about the LDS Disabilities Facebook group. It started out great!

Now--it's changing, unfortunately. I admit--I suppose....my views are progressive and educated when it comes to inclusion and people with disabilities.

There are those, unfortunately--it sometimes feels like many--who are not "ready" for this yet (or refuse to be).

Thus--the Facebook group has basically turned into a support group for parents--where segregated "special needs" groups (the ones only really in UT) are being promoted as "answers" to problems. It's sad--in my view.

So--I"m in the process of starting a group where more "progressive" ideas (although really, in the world of Disability Issues a lot of these "progressive" ideas are "old hat" now) can be discussed. So--if you're interested, let me know. I'll guide you there.

I've been blessed with a certain amount of "impatience" with this world--but it's a double edged sword--and this is one of those times--when the one place I should belong--I yet again don't--cause my ideas are "different" and my personal life experiences testify of the importance of being "different"--the "difference" it can make!

But--I've met a friend out of all of this--so I guess that's a good thing!

In 10 years---how have we changed?

2011-09-04T22:50:00.001-07:00

Been pondering this--as I said in an earlier post.

The news is progressively been discussing this "what has changed in 10 years" question.

So--I thought I'd add a few of my own--

In 10 years, what has changed?

1. I don't "put up" with as much any more...emotionally, mentally, etc. I think part of the "chutzpah" comes from the years of experience I've gained--as well as getting to be older than 30. But--I think "nation wide"--we could say that, overall, much of attitudes have changed. Flight 93 happened for a reason. And we honor the memories of those who were brave enough to say "No way!", by, in essence, doing the same.

2. I fly more. Yup--WAY more.

3. I've changed jobs, held 3 plus jobs at one time, gained 8 more years of schooling, moved 4 times--yup--faced fears I think....

4. I've gone back to where "it" happened--both in the NY and in the DC. Which was really, really good.

5. I've learned to confront anxiety--and beat it. At least beat it better than before.

6. I use the internet more (dur!)

7. I pray more--not that I didn't pray a lot then--just even more now.

8. I "defy" the odds more--especially the assumptions of others.

9. I still attempt to live without regrets--actually--this increased after that day.

10. I think (hope, pray) I recognize how important life is--living it to the fullest, and recognizing what is important--more now.

Mmmmm.....ya--I LOVE proving those whom are obsessed with fear wrong :)

P.S. I ALSO passed 4 stats classes--with nothing less than an A- and my mother is still breathing. Ya--that's a raspberry in some eyes :)

So--I'm sending out an "all call". I want to hear from others. How have you changed in the 10 years "since"? What do you do to "prove them wrong"? How do you live your life each day differently? So--I'd love for everyone to make a list on your blog of the 10 ways you live differently now--but not the "negative" changes--the positive ones--how do you "prove them wrong" everyday? So--write you list, and then link your blog into a comment on mine. I'd love to read everyone else's!!!

Really sad....but true!

2011-08-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

Read this article posted by someone on the new LDS Disability Facebook group!

The Facebook group is AWESOME!!!

The realities of this article--not so awesome!

So--thought I'd share:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/opinion/deselecting-our-children/article2136096/

Again???

2011-07-17T22:39:00.001-07:00

Okay--when will the states ever figure this out? You save money by providing well paid for, well trained community services--you LOSE money by cutting funding to these services, forcing people to lose jobs, become less independent, and thus, making them eventually live in Medicaid funded nursing homes, state hospitals, etc.!!!!

So frustrating!!! We need a MAJOR attitude shift in this country!!! So many people with disabilities could be more independent, even tax paying citizens, if they were provided the appropriate support!! People of all ages could be provided with so much more dignity if allowed to live at home supported (mind you with well trained and better paid for care providers....that's a big key to the problem here...), and so much money could be saved on the long-term--if policy makers and, everyone, really--would just grasp this concept!!!

I like this quote best: "Home health services are an easy target for budget-cutters...But down the road, steep cuts in these services eventually could cost states more money if they end up pushing more people out of their own houses and into nursing homes that would require taxpayer subsidies."

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700152398/US-states-cut-home-health-services-for-seniors.html

Independence Day!!!

2011-07-04T21:05:00.001-07:00

To honor this awesome day (and the fact that it is July!!!!) here is one of my favorite parts, of one of my favorite songs for ya'll!!!

"And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA."

Thank you Lee Greenwood!

P.S. I am so grateful today that I live in a country that offers real freedom to those with all abilities! It may not yet be perfect--but we are very blessed!

Grateful--and Disgusted

2011-06-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have yet to weigh in on my opinion of this "ethical" debate.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43360386/ns/health-pregnancy/

I would assume that anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis could guess my opinion.

I hope I don't have to outline my "pro-life" views--but those are what I hold true--I KNOW are true.

A life is a life--and the more we try to act like "God" and determine whether a life has worth or not--the more dangerous ground we're walking on.

Are there certainly times, when a termination may have to occur? Yes--as the Church states--rape, incest, and when the life of the mother and/or baby are in ultimate danger (as in--they one or the other will end without one no matter what).

Does this mean I judge those who have felt they have no other choice? No--but I do promote and enforce that medical professionals should be trained to not force women/couples into emotional/mental corners.

My point with all this is this: I am disgusted by many of the comments made at the end of this article--disgusted that some can think that a human life--even if supposedly "imperfect" physically or intellectually--does not have worth!

I am grateful for the true Gospel which teaches the truth--that all of God's creation has worth--and every soul and person is of worth to Him and His Son.

It disgusts me though--that even within those whom espouse to believe in the same Gospel I know is true, are many who do not fully understand the true worth of souls. Frightens me, really.

I am grateful that I can stand here and bare testimony, though. That every human being is of worth. That the Lord knows the true infinite potential of every being--and that we, as fellow "travelers" in this life's journey would be wise to see our brothers and sisters as whole humans with infinite potential--sent here to work out their salvation--just as we have been. Even if in a "different" situation than ours.

It would also behoove us, as those whom understand the Gospel, to understand that those with "different" situations are not a "burden" on society--but a blessing. Any political or ethical statement MADE BY ANY SIDE OF THE POLITICAL ISLE that purports how these important members of our society are a "drain" on us financially or in any other way--should set off red-flags in our conscious. Whether it's statements about how insuring those with chronic illnesses or disabilities is like insuring a "burned down house"--or statements from the other "side" about decreasing the likelihood of births via abortion is a "viable option"--when hearing such statements in any political or ethical realm--the hairs should stand up on our backs as members of our faith--and believers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And we should act accordingly to ensure that righteous decisions are made, respecting lives, even those others try to claim are "abnormal". Further--if we, as "informed" members of society (and the Gospel) choose to not support policies which promote human rights and appropriate assistance to those whom have "different" needs, we need to understand that we are then truly supporting those whom feel people with such needs are not of worth. Think of the Law of Consecration...."equality" under this law is based upon a true measure of what we need and want. Should we not also think this way about this issue in general? So what if a child with a disability costs more to educate (or medically, etc.) than a child without. If it's what they need--it's what they need. If we truly believe that every life has worth, than is not the extra cost "worth" it?

Okay--I'll get off my soap-box now. Remember--this is not a debate forum--so if you plan on comment--keep that in mind.

Turning Point

2011-06-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to put this up for a couple months. Ya--what a busy life I lead--no time for even posting.

Anyway--this is an amazing show. The adoption story is great---but it is the Eagle Eyes video that I LOVE. It's about an hour long--so will take some time (I skip the adoption parts when I have showed it--not cause they're not great--but cause the Eagle Eyes is just better in my opinion).

Especially love that it's on BYU TV!!! Now to just make Eagle Eyes affordable for all who need them/could use them!

http://www.byutv.org/watch/2164-101

My Blogs--"Table of Contents"

2011-05-29T21:46:00.001-07:00

Here is the link to my main "Table of Contents" blog:

http://dignifiedcharity.blogspot.com/

Update

2011-05-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

So--this is all still under construction, but I'm combining many of my blogs together under one main "Table of Contents" type situation. I've linked this "main" blog on the side on the "Pages" menu.

Praying and frustration

2011-02-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Okay--

I'm praying and frustrated. See, someone I REALLY care about (closely related to me--with a rare lung disease--ya--should clue you in if you've read this blog at all) was finally beginning to go to Primary in his little branch out in the middle of a rural Midwestern town.

Was it perfect....no. But--being grateful for the small steps forward!

Guess what--after almost 2 feet of snow fell in this little rural town--the pipes broke--and flooded their little church house.

The church house that is already too small--that was rebuilt years ago after a tornado.

And--because this town was completely snowed in--a concept that I know most in UT cannot comprehend--that outside of the Mountain West people truly get snowed in--even in areas used to snow--which although this little town should be--it isn't.

I seriously had to remind my mother of this (who lives in UT)--when she said "Well, I guess no one went to check"--and I said "Mom--no one could GET THERE!!" This little town has NO budget for snow removal. In this state they plow usually leaving at least 2 inches of snow on the road--even though it's still slippery--cause they don't want to "wreck" the road (can't afford to fix it). Most of the rural towns in this state DO NOT have the money to buy salt--they usually just lay sand on the 3-4 main roads in the town--

So seriously the branch members COULD NOT get there (something most people in large cities in UT likely may not understand).

But--I guess it flooded so bad that they're going to have to replace carpet, furniture, AND sheetrock!!! It could take months--and beyond that--there's not really any "disaster clean up" people near by. They'd have to go at least 1 major city away (an hour away) in order to find one.

But--here's the kicker--there's already a major tradition in this branch and stake of "suffering". By this, I mean--of the members who are from there, have joined the Church there--or moved there from anywhere other than the "Mormon Zones"--often seem to see that if they have to "suffer" more it's because that's perhaps just their "lot" in life.

I know this may not make much sense--but it's almost a "martyr" mentality--that they are a burden upon the Church. Now--on the one hand, it's beautiful because they are a very strong, humble people. But, on the other--it's immensely frustrating! Cause they'll often not advocate or speak up when they have needs--needs that the Church SHOULD fulfill.

For example--even though it is 2011--this was supposed to be the FIRST year that they would not be required to drive the almost 2 hours to the stake center for stake conference--because stake conference was going to be (FINALLY) transmitted to their little branch building! Many members (as in almost half of the branch members) often cannot afford the money for gas to even drive to the stake center!

What is incredibly and amazingly sad--is that I attended a ward and stake in the SAME state--but in larger cities further north--with a stake president who grew up in the "Mormon Zone"--and he was "up" on everything. He did all he could to ensure that the many members of his LARGE geographic stake did not have to "suffer" in their Church attendance and opportunities just because they, perchance, could not afford it. Even if it meant HE drove the miles to the branch or ward to visit or have temple recommend interviews--whatever. I saw first hand the blessings that came to the ward members--and the beautiful confidence grow in people's testimonies--and even, I believe--saw the Church grow even more there (in membership numbers as well as Spiritually) because of this man's educated leadership.

So--am I saying that someone from a "Mormon Zone" should always lead? NO--what I'm saying is that "grinding people's teeth" is not the answer!!! No matter where you're from.

BUT--you ask-what does all this matter? It matters because the answer thus far to this little branch--is the same answer that I've been informed (so don't know exactly what happened before--just going off of what I've been told) happened when the church building was lost in the tornado. That the answer the stake leaders have come to (quickly) is "Well---you all will just have to drive the hour to the nearest town in the stake and join that ward!".

Okay--is there communication of the branch member's specific needs happening here? There are members who arrive to the branch on a local bus--now they cannot attend--for who knows HOW LONG until the Church is fixed.

There are members who CANNOT afford to go to church 1 hour away--cause they cannot afford the gas, or don't have a car that can drive that far. It's a large amount of the branch members. So, they cannot attend for who knows HOW LONG until the Church is fixed.

And--there is a little boy--who was FINALLY attending Primary--who had the PERFECT Primary teacher called, a Primary President who FINALLY seemed to understand--because he had a mom who finally felt strong enough to advocate for his needs. He FINALLY was not talking about going to church with absolute dread.

And NOW he cannot go--not only because EVERY WARD AND BRANCH IN THE STAKE HAS BEEN REQUIRED TO MEET AT 9:00 A.M. FOR YEARS--(the reason behind this--even though most of the members of the stake do not share church buildings with other large church wards or branches is that a stake president, at least one stake presidency ago, decided it--and that's just the way it is. Okay--time to break this tradition!!! There is no reason to grind teeth here people!!!)--which means that his family will not attend (it was a push and stretch just to get them there by 10:00 to the branch)--but because this "little man" NEEDS AS MUCH SLEEP AS HE CAN GET BECAUSE OF HIS LUNG DISEASE. Waking him up really early is REALLY hard on him. Now, I agree--he eventually needs to learn to do this (which is far more complicated than it seems--believe me!)--but leaving to drive to church 1 hour away (in likely horrible weather right now) is just not a good enough reason for his parents to want to get him there.

PLUS--since now the ward and branch are combined (which--believe me--blows my mind as it is--cause as my parents and I were talking about this--my mother said "Well, what would happen in UT if this happened"--the ward/branch would just go to another building and become part of the meeting rotation--even if it meant 4 wards in one building at a time) the Primary classes will be WAY too big--which means his mom won't let him attend Primary anyway (too many germs)--never mind having to educate yet another ward/branch, another Primary president, another set of Ward leaders? Seriously!!!!

I don't know what in the end will happen--and believe me, I'm praying like crazy that the leaders of this stake/branch will advocate and/or solve this problem a better way for all of the members of the branch--And recognize that it is not wrong to explain to Church leaders that you have needs!!! Advocating appropriately is APPROPRIATE!!! I'm praying like crazy that this is a very short term fix--and that they will approve the renting of a building or AT LEAST contract with a disaster clean-up and construction company from outside of this little town (cause even though it may be a little more expensive, there are REALLY very few options of these companies in the town they're in--and the work is far more likely to get done quickly and on time if a contract can be made with a company willing to come to the town, from another larger city).

I guess my biggest frustration is this: I can see the "elephant" here--the problem that by not communicating branch needs--this cripples the Church (whether it's at the branch or stake level). The Church in SLC cannot know how to assist best, if the TRUE needs are not communicated. For example, I don't know what happened in the Church building--perhaps the heat went out. But more likely, it was not as well insulated as it could have been. Well--this would make sense if the contract and building supplies were ordered by those, whom perhaps, have never lived through a crazy Midwestern winter like this one has been--whom perhaps, have NO IDEA what it is like to get truly snowed in, and not be able to even get into a building. I guess I assume this, because perhaps if they did know about this, better insulation could have been sought? Who knows--I mean--maybe nothing could have made a difference.

But--couldn't a building be rented in the town instead of requiring members who cannot afford it to drive so far? At the very least--could the branch still maintain their membership separate from the Ward in the town an hour away, and just meet at a later time? A time that would make more sense for people who have to drive at least 1 hour (for some branch members it's further) in order to get there? There is a town 45 minutes the opposite direction with a church house, which is in another stake. Even though it would still be far for many members--that building only has 1 ward as far as I know....couldn't they meet there? I remember when I was little my Ward met in a building in another Stake--cause there were too many people and not enough buildings (one was being built) in my Stake.

My point--other than venting my frustration--is this--

WHAT--IN THE END--IS MORE IMPORTANT? That this family member whom I love so much have the opportunity to actually attend Primary in a small Primary class--with a perfect teacher and Primary President who understands the situation--so he can learn about the Gospel--and learn to like going to Church?

Or that the whole branch show, yet again, that they are faithful enough to have their teeth perhaps a little more grinded? I don't really care who is making decisions, and who is communicating--or not communicating. Shouldn't the branch member's many needs here be taken into major consideration?

There is a point when you should know better---and do better.

And I'm venting because I feel it's beyond that point! And because there is nothing else I can do but blog about it...and pray!

Platitudes

2011-01-16T00:06:00.001-08:00

There is a good article in the Ensign this month--that has this quote in it:

"Often, what is needed most is for us to be prayerful and to listen without giving advice or platitudes. People who are suffering don't need our explanations for their condition. Our well-meaning attempts to put their situation in perspective (our perspective) can unintentionally come across as demeaning or insensitive."

Now--I'm not placing this quote on here, because I claim some notion of perfection with being a listening ear. There have been times in my life that, Spiritually, I've done well at this. And there have been others when I have not. There have even been times when I've felt Spiritually prompted to say something--and it did not go over well.

So--the point--the point is that grief is not that cut and dry. That dealing with difficult situations beyond our control, IS NOT THAT CUT AND DRY.

My mom lately, for example, has expressed to me that I don't want this, but I don't want this either. I don't want people to not care, but I don't want people to be all gushy and "I understand" or "It must be hard to do that single" either. Mainly because usually the people I've encountered who do this (at least lately) truly don't--or can't--see my whole picture. So their attempt to understand and put things into perspective is almost as bad to deal with as those who just don't care at all.

I'm not easily pleased--obviously (well duh--are most people?)

But--I often can see the elephant in the room--and so I'm going to talk about the one I"m dealing with now.

My mom has cancer...again.

It sucks--having my mom getting chemo...

It sucks that she waited to get treatment--to find out what was wrong...

AGAIN!

It sucks that the older I get, the more I see the Lord's plan--and that almost none of it is what I hope and dreamed of....

It sucks that my mom may likely never see me or my younger sister married in this life (and that we'll likely never see that either).

It all just sucks.

BUT--and here's the big BUT---

Yes, I'm angry--at my mom, sometimes at God (don't worry--He can handle it--as long as we give it to HIM and not to the opposition).

I'm often mad at indescriminant members of the opposite s e x...don't know why--just mainly that I feel like a lot of my problems wouldn't be such problems if the undetermined "they" had done their undetermined "jobs"

BUT--I'm not going to "race for a cure"

I don't want to lick yogurt lids

I see absolutely no point in wearing pink continually....

It's weird--cause I would be more than happy to put a bumper-sticker on my car that says "My kids have more chromosomes than yours"

But I have absolutely no desire to place pink platitudes on my car.

And--I certainly don't want to try to find some reason for my mom's cancer....

Beyond the reasons I"ve already personally found.

And I certainly don't want others to send me links to politically charged articles or speeches, telling me they care so much about me and my family--when what they're really trying to do is bait a political conversation of which they know very little, and I could care less about.

I know there are supposedly WONDERFUL treatments out there--and WONDERFUL screening tools--but I REALLY only have so many minutes in a day

And in all honesty--I would rather be spending them focused on the things the Lord sent me here to do--serving Him, and spending what little time I can with my family--

Than engaging in political rhetoric with someone whose opinion is biased and immovable--

and mainly, unknowing.

I'm beyond tired when "well-meaning" people try to make themselves feel better by telling me that "feeling angry is "normal"--when there really is NO NORMAL.

I'm beyond tired of "well-meaning" people listing for my mother (or me) all the people they know who've died from cancer (like this is helpful?)--or all they ways "they" now to treat cancer.

I'm sick and tired of "well-meaning" people calling my mother's cancer bone cancer cause it's metastecized--when it's really breast cancer--bone cancer does NOT have estrogen in it, you idiots!!!!

I"m just sick and tired of "well-meaning" people--basically!!! I'm tired of picking up the injured and sad people they leave in their wake.

I'm just sick and tired of dealing with people who have yet to really experience such "celestial suffering" in their lives. And yet try to do their "duty" by making your life worse.

Is it confusing? Yes! Do I always feel the way I do right now? NO! That is grief--that is how it works!!!!

And, unless you've truly, truly dived into the depths that is grief--you do not get it!

So--instead of standing their gawking--saying stupid things--or just pretending there is not a problem.

Admit you don't know how it feels. Tell them you're sorry. Ask what you might do to help (ask if you can help--wow--what a concept)--and MEAN it....

Or--for heaven's sake---give the person and their family a break!

I mean--what would it be if I did not have to anxiously worry about whether what I say or do everyday is going to impact my life forever---when others really don't understand what I'm going through.....?

What would it be like, if people gave me a break and didn't try to bait me--or waste my time--thinking they're "caring" about me?

What would it be like, if I didn't have to teach others about why what they say can be demeaning to others?

What would it be like? It would be like talking to God and His Son everyday--

Because--I'm beginning to understand that "understanding" had more to do with not understanding--but putting yourself out of the picture and listening to God--

Than it does with truly understanding....

Thank you--you may now return to your regularly scheduled blog--

P.S. I'll try to be more positive for now on. I just had to get this off my chest! It's been sitting there for a really long time!

P.S.

2011-01-13T19:38:00.001-08:00

This one is REALLY good too. Wish all nurses were as faithful as her! I especially like what she says when a child is born with known disabilities.

http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19299/Keeping-faith-as-labor-and-delivery-nurse?s_cid=newsline

Pay Attention to the "Service" to their family and beyond parts

2011-01-13T19:30:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best articles I've read in a REALLY long time--especially about this topic!

http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19294/Insight-into-education-careers-and-womanhood?s_cid=newsline

The only thing I think I'd tell her to improve it--is to talk more about the degrees the prominent women have gotten in the Church. Like the RS Presidency (and emphasize those whom are married--rather than just the one counselor who is single), the Primary Presidency, and YW Pres., and perhaps, emphasize the degrees the WIVES of the General Authorities have achieved.

But--thank you to her for quoting the true statistics in response to the "they're too career oriented" whine! L-O-V-E it!

Hiatus

2010-12-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

So--for reasons I can't explain at this time, I recently had to take down my other blog. So--for right now--perhaps my regular hiatuses on this blog may become less. We shall see. But, I just wanted to wish everyone a very late

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

To Start off the Season...

2010-11-29T11:48:00.000-08:00

On my drive back last night--this is the song I listened to quite a bit. I have many favorite Christmas songs....but this one--

Is a great way to start the Season--thank you Michael M. for writing songs about what we all wish we could say!!!

I'M SO EXCITED....

2010-11-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

And I just can't hide it!!!

Okay--I had to. Sorry for the song quote!

There is a new LDS disability manager and advocate at the Church Office Building!!!

And I know who it is!!! And he's awesome (and his brother is awesome too!!)

SOOOOOOO excited!!!!

Oh--AND the new Church Handbook--the stuff on disabilities sounds AWESOME!!!

Oh--and forgive me--because I don't condone violence--

But--I had to rush home this Tuesday to watch Parenthood.

Yes--Parenthood--and the scene--the scene where the dad defends his son from the horrible dude who used the "R" word!!!

Yep--I admit it--in all my weakness--I was cheering him on!!! (Along with, it seems, a whole lot of other people)!

Ahhhh....what a week :)

More Alike than Different!!!

2010-10-06T07:05:00.001-07:00

LOVE this!!!

Please don't feed

2010-10-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

I just have to state this "exception"--or "asterisk" covered comment here.

Elder L. Tom Perry gave a lovely talk today in Conference relating the story about the Aaronic Priesthood honoring their Priesthood while serving at a home of sorts for adults with more significant disabilities. He related a story of a deacon giving the cup of water in the Sacrament to a man with significant disabilities.

This was a lovely story--I will admit that. I have seen such service myself---especially at the Nursing home branch when I was living at home.

BUT--I have also seen a wonderful man who attends my parent's ward. He lives in a near-by group home. The residents at this group home have CHOSEN (yes chosen) to attend my parent's ward--they used to attend other wards--but now they choose to attend only my parent's--because they feel more accepted there--and have their needs better met there.

But-- a man who comes every week (unless he's ill) LOVES to pay his tithing and provide the Sacrament to those attending Sacrament Meeting. The ward members love assisting him to be able to do this (he has significant physical disabilities). BUT--there was a time that the kind-hearted Ward members used to give him the bread and water from the Sacrament as well....

WELL--this was/is a MAJOR problem--as it would make him sick, and he could seriously choke on the water!!!!

So--luckily the group home had good communication with the leaders in my parent's ward--and the ward leaders were very willing to listen--and asked the Ward to NOT feed or give him anything to drink!!! They now educate the men in the Ward (who often help him), and I believe the deacon's quorum about his needs.

SO--can I just say this--please be aware that although Elder Perry's story was lovely--it is best to check with those whom know (including the person themself if possible) BEFORE feeding people with disabilities. I know I often had to educate peers of my students to not "feed" some of them--or give them food or drink (had to educate the adults as well)--because of special diets or choking hazards, etc.

So--would love for people to be more aware of these special needs as well!!!! Wish this could be an asterik comment after Elder Perry's talk!

"Just standing on Boo Radley's porch that night was enough"

2010-10-03T21:44:00.001-07:00

I just got to watch this movie:

I've been wanting to watch this movie for months now! It is beautiful! I had forgotten some parts--especially about Boo. Didn't realize how many civil rights issues this book discusses and brings up--and how many life issues are within the pages of this book as well.

Yet--handled so completely beautifully. No pity....no sympathy....lots of reality....but wisdom throughout.

Also got to watch Undercover Boss for the first time. I'm not the greatest fan of "reality" shows--but this one--at least this episode that I got to watch today--was beautiful!!! Wish all bosses could do this--and wish all could be as caring as this one was after the fact (and also wish all employees could be as great as hers-understanding what she was dealing with as well). Made me cry.

Finally--have to post this!!! So awesome!!!

http://www2.ljworld.com/videos/2010/oct/01/32950/

I absolutely LOVE that the students were the ones who initiated this--who petitioned to change the dumb rule--and made it happen!!! So awesome!

Mixed Feelings--need more information

2010-09-26T18:31:00.001-07:00

I watched this M. Message yesterday.

Thus far, I have been quite impressed with the Mormon Message videos. They have presented people's stories and doctrinal truths in a realistic, kind manner.

But--for the one below--I think I need more information. I have mixed feelings.

See--on the one hand, I totally believe in the concept of "work by proxy". I mean--Christ went through the Atonement for us "by proxy".

BUT--Madi is here--on the planet. Yes, she has autism--but I could tell throughout the video that Madi is FAR more capable than she may first appear. So--I need more information about what they really did. I need more information about the story that "inspired" all of this (from the New Era).

You see--there is a concept within the "disability world" called Partial Participation. It is a concept which I mostly whole heartedly embrace, if it is done correctly and well.

The point of partial participation is that the person with the disability be involved in anything and everything they can be involved in, as much as they are able to. Even if this means that their participation is "partial"--accommodated or modified.

Madi seems like a young woman with abilities. She may not be able, for example, to get her self dressed independently in the morning--but she may be able to take a walk around the church house. She may not be able, for example, to read a verse from the Book of Mormon, but she may be able to match words with pictures, or put pictures in correct order. She may not be able to cook independently, but she may be able to help stir, or pour. She obviously knows some signs (signed please and thank you in the video), so she is capable of communicating in some form/manner.

So, my question is--why was her Personal Progress done for her, rather than WITH her? And, if I knew the whole story--I'd be able to tell you whether they actually did it WITH her, rather than for her.

See--I firmly believe that Madi should have been involved in the whole process, as much as she was able. Rather than having goals chosen for her--could she have pointed to the goal she wanted--or even pulled a number out of a hat--if that is what she is capable of?

And--why were the goals just completed for her "via proxy"--rather than WITH her. It is the difference that the Logan High Seminary videos show. The students with and without disabilities are instructed to work TOGETHER--rather than doing the work for. Madi's participation may have had to have been VERY modified (i.e. reading the word "the" in a scripture--while another young woman reads the rest; learning to put on her sock independently rather than sewing herself a dress or something (it's been a while since I've been in Young Women's--so I don't know what all of the new options for goals are)--but it is possible. I mean--Eagle Scout requirements can be modified for those Scouts with special needs---but they are still expected to participate as much as possible.

Anyway--as I said--I need more information before I can truly judge. I also wondered how much Madi's parents were a part of the decision making process here--and whether what was taught to these Young Women was to pity Madi, or to truly have charity filled with dignity toward her. Doing this WITH her would promote true charity--rather than just pity. But--I cannot make a real judgement--as I do not know what truly occurred (how they truly did things).

P.S. I also wonder about the initial story that inspired this. Was the young woman who had been in the accident able to communicate via a communication device, or blinking? Could she have helped make decisions as to which goals were completed? Was there any other ways she could have been involved? Perhaps this is part of what happened? I don't know. I haven't read the story. I just wished it all had been presented differently so I would be able to know.

Here is the video. Would love more info!!!

Being Ignored

2010-09-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry this blog of mine is being ignored. I have added some good blog links (at least, I think they're good). Right now I'm dealing with the joy of a new job--and planning "my future" at this point. Kind of crazy.

I am beginning a new project though--when it comes to LDS beliefs and disability. Who knows how long it will take--and it may all come to a halt if I get a calling that pulls me out of SS....but we'll see how it goes.

Otherwise--I'm learning a lot about the area I'm now in. Good, bad, and in between. I'm afraid I've found a mission or 15 (ahh...such is my life)...but the post-education options are less than desirable here for sure!!!

So, off we go!

And people wonder....

2010-07-13T13:12:00.001-07:00

2010
And people wonder....

And people wonder why there are SO many problems in the world of education. When fear is what rules, everything else goes down the toilet. Duh!

Ten Signs of a Fear-Based Workplace
businessweek

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Liz Ryan, On Monday July 12, 2010, 8:08 am EDT

A friend of mine called me from a noisy airport. "I can't wait to get to my hotel and tell you the latest drama from my office," he said. "I would have called you earlier, but my boss was in the cab with me."

"Before I hear the drama itself, I have a question for you," I said. "Do you ever talk to your boss about all the craziness in your company?"

"Talk to my boss?" my friend exclaimed. "Are you nuts? I tell my boss exactly what he wants to hear. People who tell my boss what he doesn't want to hear are people who get laid off at the end of the quarter."

The U.S. financial crisis has caused fear in the boardroom, and that unease trickles down to every worker. The principal signs of a fear-soaked senior leadership are a preoccupation with looking out for No. 1, a clampdown on consensus-building conversations, and the shunning or ousting of anyone so bold or naive as to tell the truth about what he or she believes. We've seen the fear epidemic hit dozens of major firms over the past few years, and it isn't pretty. When a leadership team's attention turns from "How can we do the right thing for our customers and employees?" to "How can we keep our stature, our jobs, and the status quo intact, at any cost?" then fear officially rules the roost.

Here are 10 signs of a fear-based workplace. If you're the person in charge of a shop, pay attention:

1. Appearances are everything. When employees are preoccupied with staying in the office later in the evening than the boss does, fear is king. When people worry less about the quality of their work than about how they're perceived by managers higher up the chain, you've got fear.

2. Everyone one is talking about who's rising and who's falling. When a daily focus of office conversation is the discussion of whose stock is rising and whose is falling in the company's internal stock index, you've got a fear infestation. A preoccupation with status and political capital is a sure sign that stakeholders' best interests have taken a back seat to me-first, fear-based behaviors.

3. Distrust reigns. Would this be your knife in my back? When your employees have to stop and ask themselves, "Is it safe to tell Marybeth my idea?" you have a fear problem in your organization. Workplaces where people steal one another's intellectual capital are places where trust is subordinate to fear (if trust exists at all). If your business is one where backstabbers thrive, ditto. In a healthier shop, people would be comfortable rising up in protest against a backstabbing colleague, and the paradigm "I win when you lose" would be quickly nipped in the bud.

4. Numbers rule. Sensible performance goals help people understand what's important. An obsession with metrics, daily, weekly, and hourly, and a world view that says an employee is the sum of his numeric goals, are signs of a fear-based culture. Why? A healthy organization builds performance goals into its leadership framework, but the metrics don't equal the framework. When management views people as complex, creative, multifaceted value producers and considers metrics as just one element of a well-rounded leadership program, you can beat the fear back to a tolerable level.

5. And rules number in the thousands. Maybe the most stereotypical yet valid sign of a fear-based workplace is an overdependence on policies in place of smart hiring and common sense. These organizations fear their own employees' instinctive reactions to everyday circumstances (the need to book a business trip, order a stapler, or schedule a vacation day), so they install lengthy, tedious policies to keep employees from thinking independently. A need to tout the trust and openness in the organization constantly can be another red flag. As my friend Marla says, "The more an employer drones on and on in the handbook and other employee materials about trust, the less trusting they are."

6. Management considers lateral communication suspect. My brother worked for a major electronics manufacturer. One day, stopping in the office just before taking off to visit a remote location, he ran into some guys who had just returned from the same facility. "Let's compare notes," said my brother, and five or six team members went into a conference room to confer. Within seconds, a manager burst into the room and demanded, "Who authorized this meeting? None of you guys is at a level to authorize a meeting." Evidently sharing ideas that could benefit the company is only a good thing in this organization if you carry a certain title and salary grade. How idiotic is that? Organizations that don't allow employees to brainstorm with one another are places where fear has made inroads.

7. Information is hoarded. Closely related to the question "Can employees in my company chat freely?" is the question "How do people find out how things work around here?" If the sole answer is, "Ask your manager," you've got some creepy-crawly fear bugs on your hands. Cultures that allow people to hoard what they know to consolidate their power are cultures where fear has smashed trust under its heel. Likewise, if employees learn about a company layoff through the grapevine or in the newspaper vs. a frank sitdown with their managers and their teams, something is rotten in Denmark, and fear is a silent partner in your management roster.

8. Brown-nosers rule. When the people who get rewarded and promoted are the least-knowledgeable but most-fawning ones in the org chart, fear has come to town. Fear-based senior leaders surround themselves with yes-men and yes-women because it's more pleasant to hear the "right" answer than the truth.

9. The Office evokes sad chuckles, rather than laughs. My friend Amelia writes, "As hard as the writers for The Office try to make Steve Carell's character look like the world's most bumbling, officious egotist, my actual boss is worse." When cartoonish fiction looks more appealing than everyday existence to your employees, fear may play a major part. Fear shuts down our ability to think creatively, collaborate, and bring passion to the job. When getting through the day requires a focus on keeping one's head down, taking no risks, and sucking up to anyone in management, your organization's soul has left the picture.

10. Management leads by fear. When senior leaders make virtually all decisions in secret, dole out information in unhelpful drips, and base hiring on sheeplike compliance rather than energy and talent, and the PA system all but blares "Be glad to have a job, stop whining, and get back to work," your company's fear problem is off the charts. I saw an example of this myself the other day when I stopped at a national retailer to look at earrings. A sales associate mentioned to his co-worker, "Crazy thing, I broke something in my car's engine, and my mechanic says it'll be $1,400 to get it fixed." In a flash, the supervisor of the department swooped into the conversation with the message, "Lucky you've got a job, aren't you then! A lot of people are unemployed, and we've got a list of people who'd love to have your job. That's your thought for the afternoon: Lucky Me!" and off she went. When leadership is based on keeping people in the dark and keeping them off-balance, no one benefits except the tier of managers near the top who justify their existence by devising ways to solidify their stature.

Chief executives know in their hearts that smart people, set loose to solve big problems, are responsible for every success and innovation industry has ever seen. Fear-trampled employees don't do a thing for your business. Still, management by fear is a hard habit to break, because fear-whipped underlings don't squawk. Meanwhile, your competitors may be hiring your best talent away and stealing market share while you make it easy for them to do so. Those meek, submissive, broken-down employees might blossom in your rival's trust-based culture. Do you really want to find out?

Homebound and Active.....

2010-06-13T18:28:00.001-07:00

This month's Ensign has an article in it. An article that I would like to comment on.

Here is the link:

Article Link

Now--please understand. I am excited and happy that the church FINALLY printed an article like this.

It is a good article, with good ideas, and a good message.

BUT....

Yes, I am putting a BUT.

Now that I have family whom miss church regularly--either because of health reasons of their CHILDREN.....or their own (yes, sometimes of their own volition....)

BUT...now that I have been able to get to know people who are homebound either because of their own health reasons....or those of their children....

Now that I have experienced months at a time when my own mother could not attend church....

Now that my family has experienced both severe differences when it comes to Ward's reactions to such things...

I have something to add.

It is this: If we, as Church members....especially those of us with leadership AND teaching callings (i.e. Bishopbric, Elder's Quorum, High Priest, Relief Society, Primary, Young Women's, Young Men's, and perhaps, even Sunday School) DO NOT take the INITIATIVE to offer Church services (i.e. the Sacrament, lessons, copies of lessons, opportunities to serve, Primary lessons, or even homebound Primary, Young Women's, and Young Men's classes even bringing other children/youth with us, homebound Seminary, Institute, WHATEVER THE FAMILIES NEED and WE and THEY FEEL IS APPROPRIATE) to members who are homebound....we will be held accountable for this!!!!

This article shows that homebound members (especially adults--as it focuses only on adults) should be given opportunities for callings, should be visiting teachers if possible, etc. BUT it does not emphasize that these members (and their family members) should not have to ALWAYS advocate for themselves in order to receive these services and opportunities!!!!

I have seen miraculous, wonderful services and opportunities be provided to homebound members and their families! I have seen wards, Primaries, etc. do WONDERFUL things. I have heard stories of Primary classes being held once a month, ensuring that all the children who attend are as germ free as possible, so that a child receiving chemotherapy (for example) receives the chance to be involved in Primary!

I've heard great stories of Ward members ALWAYS making sure that the member and their family received the Sacrament...

These are wonderful stories!

But, I have, unfortunately, more often SEEN the exact opposite! I have more often seen Ward leaders never even think to offer the family the Sacrament (never think to ask and offer). I have seen ward leaders NEVER even think to visit the families. I have seen Ward leaders never even THINK about the fact that the new members in their ward may not be attending regularly because of a health issue.

I have personally been asked "well, do they want us to do something" for their Primary aged son---rather than asking the MOTHER and FATHER themselves--rather than taking the initiative! I have seen families be ignored for years on end, while caring for a child, youth, or member with a disability or severe health issue---and then be treated like a new ward member once that family member has died!

I am NOT kidding here!!!!! This article left out the part that these families, these people can become incredibly TIRED and fatigued at ALWAYS having to educate everyone else, always having to advocate for themselves. Do you know how long they are on the phone with insurance companies alone?!

They SO need the strength that activity in the Church brings! They so need the strength of a renewed testimony! The SO need the strength that can come when others serve WITHOUT being asked!

My own family experienced this. When I was 13--the week before Christmas, my mother almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. My father told our Bishopbric--they visited the hospital once. The ONE day in the hospital that my mother was actually doing well. The rest of the time (until the last 2 days) she was dying because of infection! Our family, mostly, abandoned us (it was the week before Christmas), and in the Ward, the Relief Society President was going out of town. As far as we know, she assigned a counselor to find out if we needed anything. I don't know that this ever happened.

We (children the ages of 11, 13, and 15--not really ready to take care of ourselves wholly) were left to our own devices. My father--distraught with the emotions this sudden emergency brought (and he, unable already to cope with his teenage daughters in any healthy way) fell to pieces, and took it out on us. The only 2 people in our whole lives who even realized that there was a problem was our dear, sweet neighbor, who brought us dinner TWICE before our mother came home (she was NOT a member of the church!), and our aunt--who called and took my sisters shopping, to which my father responded by screaming. Ya--it was lovely. My mother came home the day before Christmas, and we tried to salvage some kind of holiday....she was homebound and ill for almost 8 weeks--left to be cared for by my 11 year old sister who still is bitter about this.

So--after years and years of dealing with this reality--trying desperately to forgive the ward members we loved--for completely ignoring our needs---I was blessed with the opportunity to express--emotionally--what this was like, when giving a comment in a Relief Society lesson. Those long-time members of our ward were more than shocked. Many had not even realized this had happened (lets just say, the phone tree in the ward SEVERELY broke down).

Then--about 6 months after this happened (after I made those comments), my mother fell and broke her knee (yes, her knee)--making her homebound yet again for almost 6 months.

And--I have never experienced the love that occurred from our Ward during that time (although, I'm still not sure that the Sacrament was offered--why is this----seriously--if someone is homebound, injured, in the hospital, etc., shouldn't the Priesthood AUTOMATICALLY offer the Sacrament? I mean, especially outside of UT--where the Sacrament isn't sometimes taken around in hospitals? Come on people!!! I DO NOT GET IT!--Why should people HAVE TO ASK????!!!!!)

People brought meals and food--so much so that we had food all the time. An amazingly sweet Ward member--with hip problems of her own, came to our house for almost a year, every week, and scrubbed my mother's kitchen floor. It had never been so clean before! It was AMAZING!! And I was so grateful, as I was slaving that summer away, working my fingers off to save money for that school year in college. Later that summer I was also in a car accident, where the car was totaled--I cannot tell you how grateful I was that the Ward stepped in!

When my mother had breast cancer, and chemotherapy and radiation for almost a year--the ward was amazing again! And, it was so needed. I was slaving my life away at a new job as a teacher the whole year, and was working my life away practically 24/7 most days. So, even basic house cleaning and cooking sometimes was more than I could bare. My younger sister still took the "brunt" as she calls it, of the care for my mother....but the Ward SO helped!

So please, please, please--I beg of you. Do not wait to be asked. If you know or even have an inkling that someone in your ward is homebound, for a short time or permanently--if you think that a disability, illness, chronic illness, etc. is affecting a family....or you just don't see ward/branch members often...please take the initiative and go find out why if at all possible. Please seek revelation....on what services and opportunities can be provided. PLEASE use imagination and the Lord's inspiration--so that children in Primary or Youth programs can still be included and receive the education about the Gospel that they so desperately need (and their parents don't have to think up all the ideas and always have to advocate). PLEASE!!!

Moderation.....please pass the preservatives!!!!

2010-05-24T10:16:00.001-07:00

This is such good info., I'm posting it on here too!

Saw a news report (not this one--but this one is even more dramatic). Ahhh...finally I have a name for those whom "count my points" (excuse me--but I want to eat what I want to eat without you "counting" it, thank you)---or correcting me/us about how "clean" our food should. Yes, I've actually known people who've done that. Luckily, I'm still friends with most of them.

Moderation in all things people! Sheesh!

(P.S. I REALLY like what the lady says at the end...that "None of us get to choose how we die. We only get to choose how we live. And I was NOT living". Hallalujia!!!!)

This is Awesome!

2010-05-11T07:57:00.001-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Disability Renaissance

2010-05-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

First, were you starting to wonder if I was going to post again?

I've been incredibly busy. Life has been changing right overnight. It's been a little nuts.

Anywho....

So, I've been pondering about this topic for weeks now--years, really.

You see, I've described here before how I grew up in a very inclusionairy world. I did not realize quite how inclusive it was until I was older, and began to realize that many people did not think the same way I did about disabilities.

Now--granted, my view points, ideas, and knowledge has changed, emerged, increased, and gradually graduated from an introductory view---to a much more broad, yet inclusive view--while seeing many of the "ins" and "outs" I didn't see before.

I know--I sound vague.

But, that is what is so hard about this topic. It is VERY hard to describe to other people who just don't "get it".

See--I truly, truly, cannot fathom what it is like to live in a world where one denies themselves the opportunity to interact with people with disabilities.

I cannot fathom how people can be so prejudiced and afraid.

I can understand a certain amount of discomfort--especially for those unfamiliar with many of the very interesting parts of life that being with people with a wide range of disabilities and abilities can bring. I do understand that, sort of. (Although, I have to admit that my automatic response to such excuses of discomfort is "Get over it--buck up, get up, and grow up!"--not usually a great first response...)

But, I remember a conversation I had. We were doing a young men's/young women's combined activity one night--going to a local care center that took care of people with quite severe disabilities.

Now--I'm not really a fan of such places. I wasn't then. I'm not now. Not because the people who work there, or the families who have learned to depend on such places are "bad"---but just because I know that there can be better options--there should be better options!

But--still, we were going. And, a young woman--we were not, per sa, close---but close enough to "talk" was in the restroom with me as we were getting ready to go. She looked at me and said "You're not nervous at all, are you?". Now, in all honesty, I probably was a little nervous. But, I'd been around people with disabilities before, I wanted to be around people with disabilities in my future. To me, it's "normal"--whatever the heck that is. So, I looked at her and said "No, not really". She seemed amazed--then disclosed that she was--and asked how I couldn't be.

I think I may have said something like "Well, they're just people like you and me"--to which I probably got raised eye-brows and enlarged eyes.

And this really boils down to what I don't get (by the way--this person later got training to work with people with certain disabilities--thus overcoming much of her fears).

I must admit, over my years of experience, I have worked with some awesome people. But, there were a few, initially, whom I really wondered "Will I be able to love them--even like them". When you deal with tough stuff like aggression, health issues, bodily functions, etc.---well, it's not like it's easy.

But, the most amazing thing would happen. The minute I would open my heart--just a little--to getting to know that person. Even if it mean watching them because they communicated in ways other than verbally--to clue me in to what they wanted, needed, how they were feeling, why they liked or did what they did, etc---it all, just became "normal". And, I learned that I could love anyone, if I trusted in the Lord, and opened my heart to the possibility.

Well--I have to admit to you--that I have been searching the scriptures for years--studying the references to people with disabilities. And, well, have sometimes been disappointed. Certainly, I trust in my Savior--and He certainly teaches many many lessons to many people about whom people truly are, and how we should treat them. But, there are so many references in the Bible to people who are "sick, afflicted, have a palsy, devil" etc. that sometimes I really wish the monks who helped put the Bible together could have had some Person First training.

It's frustrating--REALLY frustrating to try to get Church members sometimes--those whom listen far more to the fears that young lady shared with me--rather than the Spirit---to truly understand that the Bible was written 2000 years ago--and perhaps, in this day and age--the Spirit--the Lord, and our Heavenly Father has opened people's mind's, abilities, and blessed people with talents to understand disabilities, health problems, and mental illness A LOT better now, than people understood then!!!!!

We certainly should still follow Christ's example--but as I've studied the New Testament this year, I've grown to realize that the Lord was dealing with a different time and people--and now He's dealing with US.

We often speak in this Church about the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, the Reformation...the Restoration.

Well-- I can bare my testimony of this. Now is the time--and perhaps even a sign of the times---for the Disability Renaissance (of course--world wide--but most especially--within the Church). It is no longer 30 AC or sometime like that. We have come SO FAR as a human race. Unfortunately, often not far enough.

BUT--within the Church--and for those who supposedly understand the Gospel--we NEED to move FAR beyond past beliefs, and allowing fears to rule people's attitudes, behaviors, prejudices, thoughts, etc. 2 Timothy speaks much about that.

We need to realize that there is an amazing Disability Renaissance happening in this day and age. I see it. I see how the deaf do hear (perhaps not literally--but there certainly are ample opportunities for communication now, compared to during Christ's day), the blind will see (again--perhaps not literally--but yet, Braille and other such advances--especially computers--do make MANY things visable, even to those whom don't "see"). And--there is SO MUCH more available out there--the Church has embraced some advances--but dare I say--there is SO MUCH more available!!!! I see how country after country--as the Gospel is preached, or the country is prepared to receive the Gospel--also has to reform and change in other ways. You cannot bless people with just a little light. The light will shine through in all areas. There are still numerous problems throughout the world (and in the US) when it comes to discrimination, abuse, negligence, lack of education, and mistreatment of those with disabilities. But, I firmly know--not just believe--but know--that ALL will have the opportunity to hear the Gospel.

And that includes ALL of those with disabilities. WE have the means, talent, and people now who "get" it. A Disability Renaissance will happen--must happen--IS happening. I know this is true.

So--all I can say is--if you fear this...open your heart. For this Renaissance cannot abide fear...(2 Timothy). (Oh--and I must admit, I'm quite impatient for us to move forward through this Renaissance--especially in the Church).

I say these things in the Name of My Savior, Jesus Christ--Amen.

Good blog!

2010-04-16T21:13:00.001-07:00

Actually linked to this off of Mormon Times. It's pretty good!

http://kidzorg.blogspot.com/2010/04/do-unto-others.html

Will make a link to the blog on the side of my blog too :)

Right now....

2010-04-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

So--

dealing with a loverly "battle" of sorts right now.

Praying others will catch a glimpse--see the possibilities.

Praying....but may not blog much about it right now.

Praying I can keep doing such good work in the Church in the future too.

Ya--I'm different.

O.S. Card

2010-03-20T09:30:00.001-07:00

This--yet again---is beautiful. The man seriously is amazing!

Orson Scott Card: Do it anyway
By Orson Scott Card
Thursday, Mar. 11, 2010
Read all of Scott's past columns here

Martina McBride, one of the great country voices, sings a deceptively simple lyric in the song "Do It Anyway."

She gives several examples of actions that can seem futile -- building something that a single storm can blow away, or praying when your prayers seem not to be answered, or loving someone who can so easily discard you. Each time the stanza ends with "do it anyway."

It's a message of hope and determination. We mortals can't know the end from the beginning, so what matters is that we keep setting our feet on good paths and staying with them.

I was talking on the phone the other day with a good friend who has wrestled with crippling depression for many years. He described a feeling of such despair that it hurt me just to hear about it. He had a friend who had expressed an interest in the gospel, but, he said, "I felt so overwhelmed by my lack of understanding, my own weakness, that I felt like I had nothing to offer him."

"But it's not you that you're offering, it's the gospel," I said.

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"That's just it -- I felt so desolated that everything that came out of my mouth sounded stupid and empty to me."

I knew just how he felt, because I, too, have felt such despair -- the kind that pins you into inactivity because all you can feel is the uselessness of anything you might attempt.
This day, though, I said to my friend: "There's only one answer: Do it anyway."

I reminded him of McBride's song (which he knew), and pointed out to him examples in his own life of times when, despite how he felt, he went ahead and did what he knew he should -- the righteous thing he wanted, most deeply, to do.

Whether I helped him or not I cannot guess. (But I talked with him for an hour, anyway.) And for the next few days, my own words -- well, McBride's song -- stayed with me.

I woke up the next morning and I didn't feel like exercising. I hadn't felt like it for a week. But those words were still fresh in my mind, and ... I did it anyway.

Then I went upstairs to write a chapter, and was filled with dread about how difficult it would be to solve the problems that the story posed. Usually this feeling leads me to keep putting it off -- answering mail, playing little nuisance games on the computer, anything to avoid the thing I don't feel like doing.

But instead, I wrote the chapter anyway. And it went fine -- it was not as hard as I had feared. For that matter, neither was the exercise; I felt much better afterward.

How many of us have wished, when we got older, that our parents had "made us" persist in something -- music lessons, sports, any activity in which proficiency required much careful, intelligent practice? But "making us" wasn't their job.

One of my daughters, at the age of 6, got a terrible case of stage fright just before performing in her first play -- a ward road show. She had a very small part, and I told her, "We won't make you go onstage if you don't want to. But if you don't go on now, you'll be even more frightened the next time, and you'll end up never performing at all. If you want to be a performer, then when it's time to perform, you go on, no matter what your feelings are."

She went onstage -- of her own free will, yet overcoming powerful fears to do it.
The stage fright has never gone away; but she does it anyway, every time.

Sometimes the emotions that block us from righteousness "feel good." (As in Satan's motto: "If it feels good, do it.")

For instance, a married person might be thrown into association, at work or elsewhere, with someone of the opposite sex who inspires yearnings that the world, in all its stupidity and wickedness, suggests to him is "true love."

"Oh no," he's been taught to think, "this is the love of my life, and here I am married to someone else!" It can feel so exciting to look forward to each meeting, and he might start to rationalize that his marriage is also keeping his wife down (though if it is, whose fault is that? And how will betraying her make her life better?).

When you have already made a commitment that is good and righteous, any feeling that prompts you to throw it away, damaging other people who are counting on you, is as dark and negative as those feelings of dread or despair that block those who suffer from stage fright or depression.

I have known several good friends who acted on such yearnings, and then found surprisingly soon that breaking their marriage was far more damaging to everyone, including themselves, than they had imagined. In every case, the "love of their life" turned out to be exactly as permanent as the first "love of their life" when they were 14.

Feelings change. So when we've chosen a righteous goal that is within our reach, or made a good commitment that we are perfectly capable of keeping, we must recognize contradictory feelings for what they are: roadblocks, not roads.

We know what's right, even if we temporarily feel like discarding it. The key to happiness, in so many cases, is as simple as a song: However hard or hopeless the right action might appear ... do it anyway.

Orson Scott Card is a writer of nonfiction and fiction, from LDS works to popular fiction. “In the Village” appears Thursdays in the Deseret News. Leave feedback for Card online.

Charity is not charity....

2010-02-20T08:33:00.001-08:00

So, I've been planning this blog entry since before Christmas.

Literally,

But--I've felt SO emotionally "charged" about it, that I thought I'd better wait until I could calm down some.

See, if there is one thing about the "culture" of my own church that DRIVES ME absolutely nuts, it is this:

that people do not truly understand charity. We have lessons about the "pure love of Christ" all the time. But, so many of us (yes, I include myself in this) just don't truly get it.

Of course, it drives me nuts that people think that charity is "free" or without conditions--which it is not. You cannot truly experience charity (the pure love of Christ) without following the conditions outlined by the Lord to do so.

But, what also drives me nuts, is that people just don't understand charity in general. Most have a view of it being "I pay more fast offerings, thus I am charitable". Or, "I give service, which makes me feel good (ultimately this is what we think/feel--admit it!), and I have charity."

Or, especially for those who already have a lot (which ultimately is most everyone in the US), it is "I find some poor, pathetic soul whom I feel sorry for, and give them charity, feel good about myself, and that is charity". Although, another major misunderstanding about charity, especially with SOME families dealing with disabilities is "our child is OUR burden, so we will not share our child, will not help them fulfill their full potential, we will just make them our family "angel" or "mascot", feel sorry for them, increase pity, and we are thus, being charitable". It doesn't help that then other people, especially usually ward members, who have NEVER truly offered service or charity to the family, and do not have ANY concept of what they are going through, nor are REALLY willing to find out for themselves, will say things like "oh my gosh, you have so many burdens cause of your kid. And you are SO amazing!" Bleck, bleck , bleck, bleck, bleck!!! BLECK!!!!! What a bunch of BUNK!!!!

NONE of this is charity, people!!! None of it. And, although I do honor our wonderful general authorities, pitiful (PITY-FULL) stories and LDS comercials showing "amazing" stories about people with disabilities, and the others who "serve" them MAKE IT WORSE!!!! Why don't they ever create a video of a person with disability being a "regular" person--not "overcoming" their trials? Why must they and their families always be made to be "amazing"? And, why, why, why are families who can ultimately (and usually financially) able to offer their child SO MUCH MORE allowed to enslave a family member (usually the martyred mother), and allowed to leave their child/adult with a disability on a couch or in front of video games, NEVER fulfilling any more potential than that? Why aren't church leaders trained to better understand what these families are going through, and that if the ward is ultimately going to truly be charitable, their (the ward's) responsibility is not just to "help" the family, but help them learn that there is more to "potential" then sitting on a couch or playing video games (yes, I have personal experience with such things). And don't give me that crap "oh, they can't do anything else"--cause I KNOW better!!!! I've SEEN better--even with people with some of the MOST severe disabilities!!! The Lord didn't send that child to the family so the child/adult could be their "angel"--He sent that child so he/she can have the opportunity to meet their greatest potential in this life (and sitting on the couch, not able to do anything else because of other people's choice to disable them, is NOT their greatest potential, especially in this day and age!!!!)

Anyway--obviously, you can see I have major feelings about this. I used to buy into these lame excuses for charity---even the "angel" stories. But, strangely enough, none of it ever felt "right". It all felt wrong. But, I just didn't know what else charity could be.

Then,I became a teacher. And, I experienced it. What real charity is---what it should be. I experienced those days where I pushed and pushed a child academically, or to improve their behavior. Others who wanted to be "charitable" would try to just excuse the child "oh, but they have such a severe disability", and I'd say "BULL CRAP"! Because I realized that their behavior or lack of academic progress had NOTHING to do with their disability, but EVERYTHING to do with excuses. I saw students with significant disabilities TEACH others, out of the pure love of Christ, and saw others really learn from them. I saw how ultimately, what my students wanted was life, learning, and opportunity--NOT pitiful excuses for charity. I saw and experienced personally how my students (with and WITHOUT disabilities) could truly have charity for each other. AND, I also saw the reality that this is what we all need and want. I've seen lots and lots of BULL happen in education because of these incorrect ideas about charity--mainly cause people claim they "want" more. Or, they don't truly care about the education of the kiddos (or the kiddos don't care). But, ultimately what I've seen is excuses. I've seen most take the "easier" road--calling it charity for their own kids, or other's kids (and yes, I've seen it from both teachers, parents, and others), forgetting all the other children involved. Or just not care....and let me not even get started on welfare in the church and outside of it. This lovely assumption some people make, that if people need food stamps or something their just lazy....that everyone on disability is just lazy, waiting to suck the government dry...yea--really charitable for people (especially heard ALL of these comments from church members and leaders), when they themselves often have NEVER experienced what it is truly like to have a child with a severe disability or health problem, no insurance, bad insurance, be unemployed with a kid with these issues, have a disability themselves, etc.....

Anyway--I'm totally on my soap box. My point is this. Charity is NOT charity without DIGNITY!!! That is what is missing in all of these situations!!!! That is why, for example, when parents who could have SO EASILY afforded better, truly put their daughter in danger by supposedly "having charity", going out and finding some homeless man, to do work for them, so upset me!!! Because, unless ALL involved in the situation leave it with dignity, it is NOT charity---but just an excuse. This especially upsets me when the actions taken are truly taken to make one's self feel better!!!

This is why the "excuses" so BUG me--why I've blogged about such stuff before. Cause if, for example, someone grabs a person with a disability and pulls them down a hill, when what they truly needed was the chance to learn how to walk down the hill by themselves, this IS NOT charity. It is NOT charitable, for example, to SAVE a child from a hard learning experience. It is NOT charitable to not share one's burdens. Nor is it charitable to ignore others burdens--especially with bull lines of "you're so amazing" or "they're just lazy". What someone is ultimately saying is "I'm so FREAKING glad that I don't have that trial--so good luck with it all by yourself, cause there is NO WAY in the world I'm going to help!"

Even just not getting fully involved in a solution (even if it means being pushy), and instead letting someone "out" of the harder lessons, and then being glad afterward that others "feel guilty" is not charity.

Anyway--I've discovered as I've been reading the New Testament that most of us in this world truly, truly do not understand how Christ truly loved---and what charity truly is. Did Christ EVER not share someone's burden? Did He EVER say "you're just so amazing", and leave it at that? Did He ever heal someone, or forgive their sins, and not leave them with dignity? EVEN when He strongly corrected the pharisees, sadchusees (sp?), and scribes---He always did it with dignity. This does not mean that He left them "off the hook" so He could avoid the correction situation. He would correct them strongly, teach them what was right, and NOT leave them "off the hook" with any means/way of escape! He often taught his disciples this same way. I recently was told by someone "well, we're not Christ". Is that comment not totally the opposite of what we're supposed to be learning in this life, to be like Christ?

So, that is my ultimate, passionate point of this entry----that actions without dignity cannot truly be charitable. Dignity does not involve feeling sorry for others, it does not involve being "pity-ful" toward others. It does not include excusing others. It does not involve helping others, especially our children, escape hard lessons. It does not mean just letting the pharisees in life off the hook.

It does mean that all involved in the charitable act should experience dignity as well. This does not mean that we do not discipline. It means we do so, as much as possible, with a true understanding of the Lord's love, the Lord's actions, and that the goal of discipline is to teach! Thus, why the Lord sometimes allows the wicked to die (or be killed) in order to save the righteous. Thus, why the Lord does not "let us off the hook" if we are unwilling to learn. Thus why the Lord is more concerned about us meeting our spiritual and learning potential, even if learning is hard, and in hard situations, than that we have the "perfect" life situations (i.e. kids in the perfect school, never experiencing anything hard--like not being the "top" of the class, etc.) Thus, also, why WE are not truly giving nor experiencing charity unless we are not acting out of pity, and also open to learning what others are going through. This is why lines like "people are just waiting to suck the government dry on disability checks" without truly finding out what that person is going through is SO not okay. But, this is also why the church's welfare system is built upon the concept of helping others to help themselves. We must remember, though, that the Lord would not "grind their faces in the dirt" while helping them learn to help themselves!

So, totally on a "soap box" forever about this! But, the ultimate point is this:

Charity is NOT charity without DIGNITY!!!!!

Perfect!

2010-02-12T07:13:00.001-08:00

This AWESOME post about the "R" word is WHY it's so offensive to use that word!!!!

Remember--you use it--you're putting down my future child (See Reese's Rainbow button)! And this woman's youngest daughter--and many many more!!!

Because--no matter how often people try to justify and excuse their "words"---what they truly, ultimately are referring to is the inappropriate assumptions about people whom are labeled by the word.

P.S. It amazes me that people who would NEVER use the "N" word--or people who would NEVER put down someone who is ethnically different than THEM--still see NO problem with putting down someone who is chromosomally different than them. Wait a minute...we're all chromosomally different than each other...um, so aren't they truly just putting down ALL of us?

The link: http://theunknowncontributor.blogspot.com/2010/02/it-wasnt-meant-that-way.html#comment-form

P.P.S. The other truth the blatent use of this word continues to show is that people with disabilities are still viewed by many as "less than" the rest of "us". Gee--funny--especially considering that people with disabilities make up the LARGEST group of "minorities" in the nation, and the world!

And yes...

2010-02-05T14:56:00.001-08:00

And yes--I do think R. Limba.... should make a VERY public apology as well. Not because of S. Pal.... but because it's just inappropriate! This is when I say: "How old are we?" (Not that kiddos should be allowed to use the "R" word either!)

Opinion

2010-02-03T15:56:00.001-08:00

I really think our current administration for the country is incredibly prejudiced towards people with disabilities. Oh--and to the nit whit who is the chief of s t a f f ---apologizing only to a Ke n n e dy is NOT EVERY GOOD ENOUGH!!!! A public apology should be made--and perhaps you eating some humble pie (and the pres. too). If one more person from this administration says something so offensive---biting my tongue about it will not longer occur (not that I'm really biting my tongue--obviously complaining about it on my blog!)

This is unofficial---but exciting!

2010-01-31T20:41:00.001-08:00

Current Fb status:

Although not official, THISclick here for link is pretty exciting (especially the date of the possible ground breaking and the picture) :)

All I gotta say.....

2010-01-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm truly not trying to be sacreligious here. I GET it,....I do.

BUT...if I have to read ONE more article, anywhere, ANYWHERE about being self-reliant...

I may just start writing letters and spitting on purpose!

Until people truly, TRULY know what it feels like to have a child with a disability or a major health problem....

Until people truly, TRULY know what it feels like to pay $13,000 out of pocket for medical expenses every month....

Until people truly, TRULY know what it feels like to get $200 in respite care A YEAR....

Until people truly, TRULY know what it feels like to have a machine speaking for their child....

Until people truly, TRULY know what it feels like to be on Medicaid cause your own insurance company kicked off your child cause they were born with a "pre-existing" condition....

Until people---ESPECIALLY all people in the church who think they can SIT there and lecture others about being self-reliant realize that they truly, TRULY have NO CONCEPT of such realities of life....

Until people----ESPECIALLY all people in the church---realize that TRULY BEING SELF-RELIANT MEANS REALIZING TRULY, TRULY HOW RELIANT WE ARE ON GOD AND ON EACH OTHER....

I REALLY REALLY don't want to read or see on more lecture in writing about the subject!!!!

Thank you (oh--and PLEASE remember that self-reliance is a PRINCIPLE---not a "doctrine"....it is incorporated into about 2 doctrines of the church--but it is a PRINCIPLE. As one of my best institute teachers would remind us, there is a difference between the 2. Let's just put it this way: There have been principles in the past that we no longer practice. There are not doctrines that we don't practice. Ponder a little...you may just figure it out.

Okay--stepping down off the soap box now!

Christmas: I must admit!

2009-12-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

I must admit:

I LOVE white Christmas's. Too bad my parents had to drive 2 1/2 hours in a blizzard basically---but at least it wasn't us this year driving in a blizzard blown caravan to UT!!!

I LOVE playing in the snow on Christmas Day! What fun!

I LOVE when the kiddos sleep in on Christmas morning!

I LOVE my sister's "new" 100 year old farm house in the middle of "no where"---it feels like staying in an awesome cabin for Christmas!

I LOVE having time to cook--at least most of the time.

I LOVE getting the grading done---so one less thing on my list. Now, to attack comps again!

I LOVE that I'm 2 hours south of home--home where there has been a major blizzard--and about 4 major snow storms---everyone is digging themselves out like crazy, having electric outages, and major mayhem! Whew! I think I've missed the biggest blizzard/snow storm they've had there in years (at least in the 4 yeas I've lived there). Seriously--how much luck is that? Just praying my house is okay!

I LOVE that my niece likes one of the Christmas presents I worked very hard on (although she's going to finish it all WAY faster than I thought she would!)

I LOVE when the kiddos can just play and go to bed whenever, and people don't stress!

I LOVE Christmas in Kansas (at least thus far!) :)

Hesitant

2009-12-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

I've been hesitant about this for a while. Mainly cause I've realized as I've "grown up" in the church that MANY in the church DO NOT "GET" IT!!!!

Which, is well, truly and honestly pathetic in my mind's eye. Cause we, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints should "get" it--"get" it better than ANYONE else, in my opinion.

But, unfortunately, understanding disability is obviously something that you have to have the Spirit to truly understand.

So, I've been hesitant to post this link.

Every week I teach a "special needs" seminary class. Outside of Utah, and the "Mormon Zone".

I LOVE it--I only have 1 student--and HATE the phrase "special needs" (cause seriously, I've learned more about the Gospel through the scripture and Gospel study we've done--so really, whom has the special needs?) But, ONE thing that frustrates me--as I teach outside of "the Mormon Zone" is that, because of my student's personal needs, she cannot attend "early morning seminary" (which honestly, the Lord knew me well enough to have me grow up in UT--cause I couldn't have gotten up every morning to attend early morning either!), which means that SHE is isolated in a class by herself, because of the lack of imagination by others. I've tried to push that we find ways to get other students involved in the class, to no avail. Mainly cause of a "it just can't be done" attitude. BULL!!! Lack of imagination is NO EXCUSE....in the Lord's eyes...nor in mine!

I think part of it is because, at the high school I attended, for the most part, the students with disabilities were completely and utterly "fully included". There was no "special" class for them--at least at the time I grew up. I was blessed to experience class with just such a brother--a friend. He blessed my life. But NOT BECAUSE HE HAD A DISABILITY AND WAS "amazing" CAUSE HE "survived daily"---this attitude is what TRULY frustrates me in the church. I was blessed because he was truly, truly my friend. When so many other young men ignored me, and dismissed me (and STILL DO), he, HE paid attention. I'm only sorry that I didn't pay better attention to him, when I was younger. My teacher did what was needed to fully include him, along with the class. It was not perfect....but I think we learned via the IMPERFECTION!!!!

The reality is---people with disabilities should not have to be "made" into anything more than what they are...people who are sent here to work out their salvation, and gain their highest potential. No matter what that potential is! I have an "angel" I keep nearby that holds a sign that says "infinite potential". This is the purpose for Seminary, isn't it? To help everyone gain their infinite potential. So, my argument is---why can't ALL Seminary teachers be trained to provide Universal Design for learning--and the "basics" in ALL Seminary classes---so ALL of the students, just as these videos display, can truly, truly gain their highest potential. I mean, the students without disabilities in these videos discuss how they've learned more in this class, than any other Seminary class they've ever taken. So, why do we "hold back"---why not just fully include and use Universal Design so ALL students can learn that much?

So, I'm quite happy that the Logan Seminary made these (I completed a practicum at that high school)---although there is STILL WAY too much "sticky sweet--oh they're the most perfect people" crap in it. The one thing I CAN testify is that the female Seminary teacher, and most of the "peer tutors" GET it. The male teacher--not so much. I mean, the moment he said "little ones" I just about threw my computer.

And I do, most truly hope, that utilizing Pres. Eyering's talk at the end is not because of the assumption that those with disabilities are "suffering" and "have it so much harder". You know, if there is one thing MANY of my students with disabilities taught me (I taught kids and tutors in public ed, just like those in this class), is that the majority of them DID NOT CARE about their disability. AND, when people tried to make them into some ethereal phenomenon, instead of what they were, every day teenagers who just happened to have Down Syndrome, or cerebral palsy, or some other disability, I would quickly remind them that, no, he or she is just a teenager like you. They just learn a little differently, see a little differently, or perhaps, get around a little differently.

I mean--my most favorite "ethereal" crap moment was recently--hearing someone speak of a sibling who "doesn't complain". Ya--most everyone else in the audience was like 'ahhhhh"--I was like BULL CRAP!!! This person doesn't complain because they have no MEANS AND WAY of complaining!!!! Whom are we to say "she is perfect cause she doesn't complain"---I say, give her a way to complain, so she can be a human being, rather than some "perfect" soul the Lord supposedly has "trapped" here for a while. NO, no no no no!!! The only reason why she is "trapped" here, is because of a lack of imagination and lack of providing a means and way for her to communicate her needs, desires, wants, etc. The Lord has provided ALL of us, even those with the most significant disabilities with brains--and some of us need to use ours WAY more to stop disabling others---rather than creating some foul imagination about how "perfect" others with disabilities supposedly "have" to be in order to justify their existence on this earth. Sorry, um, no!!! The Lord has placed ALL of us here to work out our salvation, all of us with weakness, SOME of us with physical or intellectual disabilities. But, we're all here for the same reason. How pathetically said it will be, though, in my opinion, to get to "the other side" and realize, for the first time, that our brothers and sisters with "disabilities" were sent here for the SAME reasons we were---and that WE disabled them because of our attitudes, and lack of gaining personal revelation in order to find ways to help each other come unto Christ.

So--despite the fact that there is still misunderstanding, and FAR too much sticky sweet in these videos---and I would have LOVED to hear from one or more of the students with disabilities (cause the way the tutors and teachers make it sound, none of the students with disabilities could have possibly communicated for themselves--PU-LEASE!!!!)---I mean, I betcha THEY could tell us about THEIR experiences in Seminary too---I am going to post the link to these videos because I do believe that the Sister teacher and most of the tutors can truly testify that what creates disabilities is our minds and attitudes---not anything else. And, that if everyone in the class is seeking personal revelation on how to help each other learn the Gospel, what occurs in the classroom can truly be miraculous---not because of whom is being taught in the classroom---but because of the personal efforts EVERYONE in the classroom is making to learn the Gospel!

http://www.ldsability.org/node/393?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ldsability+(LDS+Ability+LDS+Disability+Resources)

The Racoon Won!!!! Aggghhhh!

2009-11-28T18:16:00.000-08:00

Kay--this has totally nothing to do with anything, but on my way down for Thanksgiving, I created my first ever official road kill. I tried to slow down, and swerve--to no avail.

I went out this afternoon to get the car ready for a jaunt out shopping with my niece and nephew, and this is what I found!!!! THE RACOON WON!!! AGHHHH!!! Look at what it's hard head did to my fender!!!! I don't think a stupid racoon should cost me $500+ in repairs. Oh good glory!!!! I just cannot believe this!!!

And so the lies begin!

2009-11-17T07:20:00.001-08:00

This is my 100th post--and, of course, it's a vent!

I really don't care what the country's "best scientists" say. Breast self-exams saved my mother's life---so, isn't saving one life worth it? Seriously!!!

This has EVERYTHING to do withe the "timing" no matter what they all say. Yes, I have my "tin cup" on---but give me a break! This is all about giving insurance companies an excuse to NOT pay for early intervention and screening. This is all about medical rationing. PLEASE...spare me the rhetoric. I'm not stupid! What, I have to get genetically tested (via Dr. Nancy S. on The Today Show) in order to PROVE I'm at high risk? I DON'T think so! THIS is the problem with the world today people. Requiring genetic testing so it can be used to discriminate is NOT a good idea. I'd rather "waste" money on screenings---than lose a family member because of the lack there of.

What's next? Should we start refusing PKU heel tests for newborns cause the "numbers" are so low of those actually diagnosed with PKU? Or how about we stop testing children's hearing and vision? Seriously!!!!! Preventative screenings occur for a REASON---and the numbers shouldn't have to be "so unbelievably" high in order to justify the cost of them.

What a bunch of bull!!!

Right here, Right now...

2009-11-11T18:08:00.001-08:00

Kay--I'm a couple days late. But, it's been crazy!

But, had to mention something in celebration of freedom! In celebration of the power of people when they choose something right! In celebration of watching the world wake up from history change, in moments!!! Watching the words of a prophet, and millions of prayers peacefully come true!

TEAR DOWN THAT WALL!!!

I was hoping to embed the famous awesome song, titling this post, but nay--copyright law is more important.

So, here's the link. Click and enjoy---but come back, cause I have something else to share!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOyWY6GB3EQ

Saw the news report on this. I love G l e n n C l o s e---but this hits VERY close to home--incredibly close---in more than one way---so right here are right now---let's get rid of the stigma. Stigma is evil, it's horrible, and it permeates everyone's lives and families (and those who work with people) who have a disability or mental illness. It's time--beyond time. Right here, and right now---learn about it, realize it happens in many many families--most likely yours. And good, correct, appropriate treatment (both medical and psychological), and appropriate TREATMENT by others is the key!!! It's time!

Thank you G l e n n!!!!

And, here's the link: http://bringchange2mind.org/

Okay....I'll just have to find the time.....

2009-10-25T22:49:00.001-07:00

So, the idea is not leaving me alone....so

http://ldsdisabilityideas.blogspot.com/

Here you go.

I don't have time....but.....

2009-10-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

Kay...

I don't have time right now. But, I have been wanting to adapt the Church's Primary manuals for students with disabilities, but incorporating pictures, and altering/modifying/building in accommodations for kids with disabilities like autism, Down Syndrome, etc.

I also want to begin the process of creating a "homebound" curriculum for those with disabilities who cannot come to church, such as because of other health impairments. I think there may have to be levels built into this.

Anyway...SO....I'm looking for ideas. I know I can't do it now (working on comp exams for my PhD and then dissertation), but want ideas from parents out there....

So, if you're a parent, or a Primary/Sunday school/Young Women's/Men's teacher out there, and have some ideas of how things should be modified/improved for your child, send me ideas. I'd LOVE to start a "database" type situation someday, where parents and teachers could come, and utilize the webpage to assist them in the process of adapting/modifying Primary.....not there yet, but let's at least start the discussion!!!!! So, if you have ideas of what you'd like to see, please...comment away!!!!

What I wish....

2009-09-29T18:43:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately (maybe cause I'm helping to teach a class of younger college students) of what I wish everyone knew about disabilities. So, I'm making a list:

I wish that people would know that pitying someone with a disability is useless....or in other words, I wish everyone knew not to feel sorry for someone with a disability.

I wish everyone knew that empowering people with disabilities mean seeing them as people....not miracles, not "pitiful", not suffering, not "amazing". Just people...everyday people, living life like we all do everyday. Disability is the #1 form of diversity that touches every race, every ethnicity, every culture, every socio-economic level. It touches every age, every group....in the end (if you count age) it touches EVERYONE!!! So, why do we act like it's so "different". It's not. It's as natural a part of life as birth, death, school, driving, etc.

I wish everyone knew that not all people with a disability, nor all their families, wish, nor even think about being "cured". That many are happy with whom they are.

I wish everyone knew how to appropriate accommodate and modify for people with disabilities in church, school, stores, and everyday life. Doing this makes life and learning better for everyone!

I wish all parents of kids with disabilities knew about the sacrifices so many other parents and people with disabilities have made....so that their children now have the rights and freedoms they have (as imperfect as they still are). The parents who know these things....well, lets just say, one can tell.

I wish all special education teachers (well, and everyone for that matter) also knew all the sacrifices others (other special education teachers, students, parents, etc.) have made to promote best practices, get students access and beyond to public school, and truly educate everyone (and provide opportunities....truly equal opportunities....to EVERYONE!!!) So that when they refuse to do their jobs, don't do their jobs well, and accept mediocre (and don't advocate for better) situations and opportunities for their students, they are doing a crappy job, and bringing down not only the profession, but the future for those with disabilities (especially, but not singularly for those with more significant disabilities). This is true for anyone in the "profession" of taking care of people with disabilities, teachers in general, politicians, administrators, higher educators, related service providers, and so forth. We were not placed here to "just do a job"!!! What we do makes a difference...either good or bad!!! So, I wish those who are lazy and don't think "it" is worth their effort would quit making all the rest of us look bad (especially those of us who take our jobs and life missions seriously....and do them the best we possibly can....not matter how other's question us, make our lives difficult, threaten, etc.). Mediocraty (sp?) is not the goal...and those who only work for it should leave!!!

I wish all people knew that a person with a disability is a PERSON FIRST!!!

I wish all people knew that everyone is born with infinite spiritual potential (as well as potential in all other areas of growth). What makes the difference is how we define potential....not what abilities a person does or does not have.

I wish everyone knew the history of people with disabilities throughout history...knew what kind of fights and battles have occurred so even just a few of them could enjoy the minimal amounts of civil rights some now have.

I wish everyone could know that doing for someone is NOT better than teaching them how to do it themselves (even if it means pushing them, and waiting determined while they work to figure it out...no matter how long it may take). This doesn't mean that you don't modify or accommodate, but grabbing someone by the arm and doing for them something that they are capable of is not better.

I wish everyone had a friend with a disability (including more significant disability).

I wish everyone could have experienced inclusion at it's best, as I was blessed to experience some of my growing up.

I wish systems and administrators (including politicians) knew that their unimformed and uneducated decisions really affect people...and that they could experience first hand what these affects are.

I wish that all parents of kids with disabilities could have the respite care they need, didn't have to constantly battle with systems that should be helping them, not hurting them, and could receive all the assistive technology their child and family need for successful inclusion and enjoyment in life.

I wish everyone with a disability could have a job that is Universally Designed.

I wish everyone could know how better our world is, and would be, if it was truly fully accessible to people with disabilities.

I wish that people would realize that it is their fear, hate, prejudice, biases, and attitude that truly disables people.

I wish that ALL people with disabilities were as age appropriate and fully included in their LDS Wards and Stakes as possible (which is much more possible than currently occurs in many wards and stakes, unfortunately).

I wish children and adults with disabilities no longer spent hours of useless hours never meeting any amount of their potential, in institutions throughout the world.

I wish people realized how essential Spiritual progression of EVERYONE, especially those with disabilities (who have had minimal to any opportunity for Spiritual progression) is essential not only for their exaltation, but our own. Bringing the Gospel to ALL, truly means it MUST be brought to ALL, no matter what their abilities are. So, we should all be ensuring this occurs....it is as much a part of the "mission" of the Gospel as any other "missionary" work that occurs!

Stories worth sharing....

2009-09-11T13:46:00.001-07:00

Think these are worth sharing:

Delete
http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/nyregion/1-in-8-million/index.html#/naisi_zhao

The Key

2009-08-15T21:13:00.001-07:00

Spouting off: The key is, just cause it's your obsession, doesn't mean it's everyone else's. Perhaps finding out why they "don't care" (as you assume they don't, which may not be true at all), and about them, and about their lives may just be they key. Then maybe your intentions won't be to change them, but just to be with them...as they are.

People often wondered how it was that I could do the job I did....I had many a "quick" statement back, cause I hated the patronizing or pitiful tone people would take. The reality was, I just plain love being with people with disabilities....especially the kids I was blessed to work with. When we could work together, learn together, or just BE together, it was bliss. Why? Cause we could truly be whoever we were together.

Oh...and I do take one exception, related to my last post: Ideas are everything when it comes to people's perceptions about those with disabilities. Thus, yes, I do obsess and share my "passion and obsession" passionately with everyone else, whether they like it or not. Because I realize that it is ideas that are not questioned (even when people don't want to be questioned) that caused the horrendous treatment that has happened in the past, and continues.

Thank you for allowing me to vaguely spout off!

Why I do what I do....Awesome Video!

2009-08-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

I was looking on the web for something, and as someone who is always interested in this topic (rights of those with disabilities), I watched ALL of this. Well worth the time. Wow!

http://www.regent.edu/acad/schedu/uselesseaters/menu.html

Hey Newt, Al, and Mr. Pres:

2009-08-14T06:04:00.001-07:00

Just so you 3 know, Charter schools DISCRIMINATE and SEGREGATE. Especially against children of minority background and children with disabilities.

Answers in education should go FORWARD....not BACKWARD. B vs. the Board did not occur so that ya'll can "reform" education and screw it up.

Oh...also, making admins and school boards more accountable than teachers....and forcing them to not be able to retaliate against teachers who advocate for students (and themselves), may actually improve education.

Not to mention improving admin and school boards TRAINING especially in special education and integration of education may help FAR more than separating and dividing children into "elite" schools and "the sucky schools where the majority of kids go because they can't get into the charters, or their families can't fulfill the charter's demands". Oh ya, not to mention the blasted charters built on purpose to segregate and separate (i.e. the blasted schools built on purpose only for the "at risk" or "kids with disabilities". Ya, those completely go against b vs the board and I D E A). Agh! Get a brain!!!!

Oh, and no, comments will not be accepted for this post. I don't consider personal blogs as debate forums (unless someone sets up their blog as such).

Couple thoughts....

2009-08-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

So, I've had a couple of thoughts the last little while about ways to increase the opportunities for people with disabilities to learn the Gospel.

First, with a wonderful 3 year old nephew who has a chronic illness, I have beheld the frustration and problems with trying to provide Primary for him.

My nephew has a lowered immune system. He also gets VERY sick when he gets sick. As such, he has never attended nursery, and his little sister will likely not either, because the other kiddies are just too much of a "danger" to him (especially since parents don't keep sick kiddos home from nursery). It's really the germies, not the kiddies that are dangerous. But as such, he's basically missed out on the early learning Gospel stuff.

So, I was thinking (and praying) about this. He may, someday, be able to attend Sharing Time---but usually if/when he's at church, he attends Sacrament Meeting with his family, and then either goes into an empty room (especially during RSV and flu seasons) where he and his sister plays (cause he can't play with the same kids all the other kiddos have). It would be great if someone could be called to run a little class just for them....but this person would have to NEVER come and work with them while sick...or if they've been exposed to illness (which honestly, you'd think people could understand, but you'd be amazed at how hard it is for people to understand such things).

But, then I thought about how on BYUTV and KBYU they show Sacrament Meeting for those who are sick or shut-in (on Sunday). Granted, out beyond UT you can't get most of this (unless you're lucky enough to have a cable/satellite company that carries BYUTV). But, I thought, why can't they (the Church) make a set of DVD's with Primary lessons and Sharing Time/Singing time on it? Bishops/Primary presidents could have access to them, and lend them out to families. Or perhaps, give permission to families like my nephews, when his church absences are not predictable, to purchase a set. They could include a variety of lessons covering the year/different aged manuals. Then, these little people could have access to Primary when they can't attend. I especially think this could be really nice for families when their little one's are in the hospital (cause I know when my nephew was in the hospital, in part cause his family was still so new in their ward, that they hardly got any contact from the ward at all. Which, honestly was frustrating. Aren't bishops/branch presidents trained to first offer families with member's in the hospital, the Sacrament, at the least? Cause this NEVER happened). Honestly, so many families (out side of UT, where Primary Children's holds a Primary every Sunday) are left with NOTHING when their little one's are in the hospital. And if they're in the hospital often, forget it! So, right now I'm seriously tempted to make a "proto-type" of this...and see what can be done with the idea. And am putting it out there in case anyone visits who could pull strings and really get the Church to do this!

Next, I would REALLY love it if all of the Seminary videos, CES videos, videos, videos (are you getting the theme here) for Sunday School, etc. could be put in a DVD set for purchasing. I use these ALL the time when teaching SN Seminary (seriously, ALL the time), cause my student needs repetition and visual examples of concepts. She loves them, I love them. But, finding the many different videos in order to fulfill my needs for this class is time consuming and frustrating. DVD sets (even with the old, funky FHE videos and "Hold to the Rod" ones, and so forth) would make life easier. And, working DVD/TV players in the church house would be really helpful too! (CD players as well!)

Finally, I may have already posted this...but one of my friends posted this on her blog. It's this great site that has old Friend flannel board stories that you can download and print off. So Awesome!!! Making these for someone for Christmas!!!!

Here's the link: http://www.stums.org/closet/html/flannel.htm

And finally, my friend Emily D. posted a comment a while back, about getting some of the You Tube videos on here that his brother made before he passed away. I am so going to do this as soon as I can. I've seen some of the videos, and they are awesome! Emily's brother=truly amazing!

Kay....it's time to change this law....forget health care.....I want NCLB reauthorized and changed so it doesn't discriminate NOW!

2009-07-23T15:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah.....great, just shut down hospital schools. Seriously people!!!! Punish deathly and terminally sick kids cause their testing scores aren't good enough? I think it's time for real accountability...you know, the kind based upon integrity and morality!

Miami-Dade school for sick kids to stay open
A Miami-Dade school for hospitalized and homebound children, which had fared poorly on the FCAT, is no longer at risk of being shut down by the state.
BY KATHLEEN McGRORY
kmcgrory@MiamiHerald.com

A Miami-Dade County school for children with severe medical problems no longer faces the threat of a shutdown, state education leaders said Wednesday.

Merrick Educational Center had received multiple F grades -- and was put on a state list of schools that could be closed because of poor performance on the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Tests.

After The Miami Herald reported Tuesday that schools Superintendent Alberto Carvalho was challenging the grade, the state Department of Education reconsidered.

Merrick is now being taken off the state's watch list. It will receive a grade of ``incomplete'' until the state reviews its policies on school grades for hospital and homebound programs.

In a letter to Carvalho, state Deputy Education Commissioner Jeff Sellers wrote, ``the department is extremely sensitive to the diverse needs of hospital/homebound students throughout the state.''

Said Merrick Principal Deborah Wehking: ``This affirms my faith in public education.''

When members of the Merrick community first got the news that their school might face closure, Wehking said her teachers, parentsand students were ``heartbroken.''

Merrick serves about 400 students, from kindergartners to high-school seniors.

Some severely disabled students take classes at the Coral Gables school. But the majority are too sick to come to school, so they take classes attheir bedside or over the telephone.

Their diagnoses include cancer, traumatic brain injuries, systemic lupus and fibromyalgia.

FCAT REQUIRED

Under Florida law, hospitalized and homebound students who are not enrolled in special-education programs must take the FCAT. And any school with at least 30 eligible students must receive a school performance grade.

This year, the scores of 79 students figured into Merrick's school grade. Some of the children were so weak that they could only open the seal and answer the first few questions. One child died before he was able to take the test.

Merrick is one of only a few schools in the state that cater to homebound and hospitalized students.

The school has received failing grades in the past. But this year, the consequences would have been especially severe. The state recently identified six failing schools in Miami-Dade County needing to make major improvements -- or else they would face sanctions, including closure.

Merrick was on the list.

REPRIEVE SOUGHT

Last week, Carvalho sent a letter to the state Department of Education requesting that Merrick not receive a school performance grade. He noted that the school serves a unique student population.

``The labeling of this school as a failing school is a travesty to its teachers and students,'' Carvalho wrote.

He was elated by the state's decision Wednesday.

``This school represents a refuge for one of the most fragile student communities in Miami-Dade County -- a refuge that will be preserved,'' he said.

Wehking, the principal, said teachers will now be able to focus on the needs of their students -- rather than worrying about state accountability measures.

``The kids are the winners here,'' Wehking said. ``It was the right thing to do.''

Finally, I have been inspired...I dreamed a dream!

2009-07-17T21:30:00.001-07:00

She rocks!!!

Enough!

2009-07-16T10:08:00.001-07:00

Okay, I've had enough!!!!

I've had enough with prejudice, discrimination, and crap!!! I'VE HAD IT!!!!

I'm so sick and tired of it all. Seriously!

I'm tired of the majority of women in the US being a size 14....and yet stores make their clothing (whether the tag says 14 or not) size 0, cause somehow we're all supposed to be that size. And don't even get me started on the evil store 5 7 9 (which should be closed and burned).

I'm even MORE tired of foot size discrimination. I have size 6 1/2 feet. Do you think I can EVER EVER EVER find shoes that size that actually fit? Heck no. Because heaven forbid we make shoes in this country that ACTUALLY FIT PEOPLE'S FEET. Ya...cause even though the majority of us have what the US shoe czars consider "wide" feet (which is actually just a regular foot size), they make ALL shoes to fit people with these freaking skinny tiny feet! What are we, China? I mean, seriously people, it has NEVER EVER mattered how old I was, or what "size" I was. Shoes have NEVER fit my feet. I guess my parents should have not just wrecked my feet cause the only option they had (when poor and living on hand-me-down's or KMART and Payless specials) were crappy shoes....maybe they just should have bound them so I could be unable to walk now!!! ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ya...so I usually wear 7 1/2....but even finding somewhat nice, and heaven forbid comfortable shoes is like "shoot myself now"!!! I HATE it. LET ME REPEAT IT...HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!!!! And, let's not even get started on boots!!! ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Oh, and to top it off, one of the wonderful people I"ve worked with this summer told me about how an admin. called one of the students in this person's class an "animal" and that "animals" should not be in the hallway with the other kids. SPITTING NAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare people continue to be so freaking prejudiced!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya...if you want to know where the largest problems are in the education system (coming from someone who truly and totally supports public schools), LOOK "UP" PEOPLE, LOOK UP!!!! (Admin, school boards, and their "associations". Ya, the day they're held as accountable by the fed government as the teachers they force blame on......)

So, I've had it. Enough, enough, enough. We live in the US people! The freaking United States of America. WHY must I still battle these battles!!! It's freaking 2009!!!! It's time to catch up. Make clothing that fit EVERYONE!!! And not just at the "special" stores. Make shoes who fit real people, and for heaven's sake, it is beyond time for people to shut their stupid prejudiced mouths and learn that EVERYONE, no matter what their disability is or is not has a right to be here, and to be in our public schools!!!!

Oh...and one last thing. I'm really tired of the "tearing down" in the media. He's dead people....and honestly any person who has read an article, or watched the gossip evil media has a part and piece of the blame. So get a life ya'll....and quit wrecking other's!

Had to say that. Cause I've had enough....obviously!

Dance of Joy

2009-06-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry to all current ward members who may read this....but it was TIME!!!!

I have a new calling!!!!!! Unfortunately, I was not able to enjoy it (stupid germs).

So, here is my celebration:

(Can you tell I'm usually not one of those people who cries cause of change in callings? SERIOUSLY--celebrating!!!!)

Thank you! You may now return to your heat induced comma!

Father's Day...

2009-06-18T17:49:00.001-07:00

3 Awesome messages from fathers:

1--if you get a chance to read our President's letter to his daughters about being a father--read it. It's worth it.

2. (Other than the use of the word handicapped)--beautiful message:

3. My sister saw this family on Oprah. What a sweet, sweet message from his daddy! I wish all people treasured and honored life as this couple does!

Happy Father's Day!

I Dreamed a Dream....

2009-06-12T09:45:00.001-07:00

For my entry this week, I'd like to honor the women in this video:

http://www.usanetwork.com/highway50/videos/

I am very impressed with this program/set of news reports Tom Brokaw is doing. Notice, I have a link to it on my links list.

But, I want to honor the women showed in this video--as well as point out the discussion that goes on within the video--about immigration and so forth.

As a teacher who has worked with children of both those here legally, and those perhaps not (didn't ask)---whose families had risked everything and sometimes smuggled themselves and their kids here so that their children with disabilities could have the medical care, education, and opportunities here that they could not get where they were from---and as someone who has seen and experienced the "lack of" what is there in at least on other country for these families and kids with disabilities, I have learned that it is not a simple problem, nor is there a simple answer. But, overall, I have to say, any ideas of how to deal with the problem (from either side of the political isle) that suggests rounding up and sending back, or drastically limiting immigration will NEVER get this blogger's vote! We are a country of immigrants, and good grief, just as this crab company owner states, if American workers are not willing to do the jobs that need to be done (which is really part of this economic down-turn)--if we see ourselves as "too good" for those jobs--than bring in those who will!!! It makes no sense to me to continue hurting business owners who depend on such workers by creating immigration policy that, in the end, rewards those owners who don't follow the law, because they, in the end, are the one's who would have enough migrant workers to actually get the job done. It makes no sense that law abiding citizens aren't making ends meet because their businesses can't get enough workers--I mean--last year in Texas reports abounded of onions and peppers rotting in the fields because there were not enough workers willing to pick them.

So--either Americans should humble themselves and be willing to pick onions--or we should be willing to support those from other countries who are willing to come in and pick our onions for us!!!! And our policies should benefit--not hurt--and honor workers and employers such as those shown in this awesome video!!!

Ahhh...I'll step off my soap box now. But, before I do....I have 2 things to say:

First, next time you're in the grocery store, think about whom picked the fruit you're bringing home! And as you drive into your home, think about whom may have laid your sod, or built your roof/house.

Second, I have been a victim of ID theft for almost a decade now. And I know it is someone not here legally who stole my ID. In all honesty, as much as this experience has been aggravating, frustrating, and has cost me a lot---I still would rather that person who "stole" it have the opportunity to be in the U.S. (although, I am lucky and have not had major credit issues). But, remarkably, this experience has not made me against legalizing those whom are here already, or providing better opportunities for those who want to come. If anything, this experience has made me even more convinced that the problem is far more "us" than "them"!!!!!

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these...

2009-06-03T06:32:00.001-07:00

Seriously....when will those "in charge" (and everyone else) ever figure out that WE disable people far more than their "disabilities" may "disable" them. Especially in a state where "Christian" values are supposed to be so "real". Ya---what a lie (kind of like when a parking structure was FAR more important to legislator members than paying for dental care for those who needed it the most....ya, no worries--the former governor took care of it [for a freaking year] by making lots of people feel sorry and have pity for people with disabilities. Like that's really helpful in the long run...ARG!) What a bunch of perpetual hypocrites!!!

Oh--and please note: I did not use the scripture as the title because I consider those with disabilities as the "least of these", but rather to get people to think a little bit!

Ya--and heaven forbid the Des News learn how to use Person First language when they write!

Here's a taste of the stupidity....

"For the disabled, patience necessary on the road

By Laura Hancock

Deseret News
Published: Tuesday, June 2, 2009 8:58 p.m. MDT

OGDEN — Patience isn't a virtue but a way of life for Stevie Edwards and Lopeti Penima'ani.

Bound to wheelchairs, getting around Utah demands the willingness to endure. Waiting for buses, TRAX and trains. Waiting for able-bodied people to exit first. Waiting for buses that have enough space for them.

On Tuesday, it took them five hours to travel some 50 miles.

Their destination: United Way of Northern Utah, 2955 Harrison Blvd., for a meeting with Bob Hunter, the organization's president and chief executive and a trustee of the Utah Transit Authority, to discuss with 11 other paratransit customers proposed fare increases and cuts to the service area.

First, the West Jordan residents took UTA bus Route 218 from 9000 S. Redwood Road to Salt Lake Community College in Taylorsville. Then they waited for the Route 41 bus. It came, but Edwards and Penima'ani couldn't board since it didn't have room for their chairs. Most buses have room only for two wheelchairs.

The following Route 41 took them to the Meadowbrook TRAX station in South Salt Lake. From there, they rode light rail to Salt Lake Central Station and then FrontRunner commuter rail to the Ogden Transit Center.

For the last leg of the trip, from the Ogden Transit Center to the United Way offices, Edwards and Penima'ani rode bus Route 603.

Other members of the disabled community who attended Tuesday's meeting had similar tales of crisscrossing the Wasatch Front for hours to get to Ogden, including jaunts for 20 blocks or so on paratransit buses. Edwards and Penima'ani did not take paratransit Tuesday to get to Ogden.

UTA is short on operating funds, and its trustees could approve a proposal to increase paratransit fares from $2.25 to $4 for a one-way ride.

The proposal also calls for limiting service to people who live within three-quarters of a mile of a fixed bus or train route. Those who don't live within that proximity to a route, including the blind, would have to get themselves to that area. Currently, many paratransit riders get curbside service.

The 13 paratransit customers who participate in the Salt Lake City-based Disabled Rights Action Committee said they've made their opinions known to all the members of the UTA board. They wanted to confront Hunter in person, they said, because of his position at the United Way, which supports programs that help the poor.

Many paratransit customers live on fixed incomes and can't afford the proposed new fares, said Barbara Toomer, a paratransit customer.

"It's wrong," said Jerry Costley, executive director of the Disabled Rights Action Committee. "And we're here to call you on that."

"How can you call me on something I haven't voted on?" Hunter said.

The disabled asked Hunter if he had voted in favor of previous fare increases, and Hunter confirmed he had.

"You say you haven't made your decision," Edwards said. "I find that hard to believe."

Hunter took exception when riders called him a hypocrite. The United Way and UTA, he said, have different controls, standards, rules and goals.

"I don't mix my United Way stuff with my UTA stuff," he said. "That would be like mixing my religion with my work with the United Way."

"If you have a religious principle, just like if you're going to stand up for the poor, you can't do that on Sundays only," Costley said."

.....the rest can be found in the newspaper.

These stories make me so happy!

2009-06-01T19:35:00.001-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The "genetic" link...

2009-05-28T17:27:00.000-07:00

The "holocaust" we often hear and learn about happened "in public" basically. There are remnants of it throughout Europe, in history books, and even on people's arms. This holocaust caused great suffering to people with certain ethnic and religious beliefs and backgrounds. But, it also caused great suffering to many more people--especially those with disabilities of all sorts and kinds.

Such "holocausts" continue to occur beforehand--and afterward. Ethnic cleansing and so forth is still a rampant problem in our world--especially for those born with disabilities--from the Middle East, to Europe, to Asian countries. Even the United States still battles with atrocities in the name of behavior control, institutionalization, and other systematic problems and personal prejudice.

But, I believe the greatest holocaust ever will not be fully understood or realized until the Second Coming. That is the holocaust of "genetic cleansing". With the increase in genetic testing--prenatal testing. And the push and intimidation utilized by some in the medical profession, thousands of babies are not born every year because of the fear that the may have a disability.

And now, with the "claim" of creating better "treatments" scientists again this week have found more genetic links to autism. Luckily, they seem to still be far off from completely useful "linking"--but all I can ask is why? Why are we so afraid?

The question was asked in comments about the article I read about this, whether the Lord would truly send people with disabilities as part of their life. My question is, does the Lord make mistakes?

I have truly experienced the blessing of being allowed to be a part of people's lives who have disabilities. Many of my students and friends were able to touch hearts and change lives, or even share the Gospel in a way no one else on the earth can. It is most impressive, and is truly the work of the Lord. It is hard for people to understand, most especially those who only see the "suffering", "fear", and "pity", but the point has nothing to do with any of this--with anyone else's fear. The point is, we were not sent here for a perfect life, but to work out our salvation, as the Lord knows we need to. Thus, we come the way we come. Messing around with this is a dangerous thing. The point also is that disability is far more a part of the way people think and treat others--rather than a reality. WE disable people FAR more than a genetic "link" disables a person. Does this mean we shouldn't study and find new medical or educational treatments? Perhaps no. But, it does mean that we need to be VERY careful how this "power" and knowledge is utilized and practiced.

Why? You may ask? Well--I think this person's comments makes it perfectly clear: genes may say one thing--but genes are only part of the potential. If we end a life because of the "possibilities" of genes---what good could we be stopping? Thus, ending life because of the potential of problems, is the same as ending life in the "holocaust". None of it is good, right, or righteous--and needs to end.

Here are the comments:

The heartache isn't with the autism itself, it's with the ignorance of people regarding autism and the burden that places on the autistic person.

An autistic adult can have a successful life ... married for 24 years, two dream jobs (left one for the other and the second to raise a family), be a published writer, raise three children who make a difference on an international scale.

All anyone sees is the diagnosis ... not the person.

That it's genetic, children who grow up will still be autistic - just like an eplileptic who hasn't had a seizure in years.

I've seen people be vilified simply because they have the disorder. Criminalized for being how they were intened to be born. Lied about and harmed. If you don't believe me, I invite you to look at the documentation I've put together.

Autism is the most incredible experience you can imagine. It's time that perceptions caught up to reality and that we stop judging based on circumstance of birth.

I LOVE THIS MAN!!!

2009-05-18T16:15:00.001-07:00

Whoosh! What a way with words! My word, this man can just "say it" like no one else can "say it".

You are awesome, OS Card. I really wish I could find a "box" for his articles to post on this blog!

(P.S. I must admit, I have been guilty of attending the former types of missionary farewells. I"m not saying I liked them...but did attend them. And the open houses afterward. But, none were ever quite the farewells he describes here. And, I guess my only thought was, as someone who has often missed a meal in order to commute to and attend a farewell, I did think it was nice that some offered food afterward. I have also seen, especially with one of my relatives, she have to deal with not as supportive family who only came for the "food and show" afterward, while the rest of us quietly ate, bid the missionary good luck, and left. But, other than about 2 years when I was a young adult (mostly during the summer), such open house attendance was a rarity. And, I love how the focus now is on the Gospel! Much better!)

Here you go!

Culture that's out of control
Thursday, May. 14, 2009
Read all of Scott's past columns here

How do these things get started? And why do they so quickly get completely out of hand?

We Mormons are sensible, practical people, aren't we? Ditch-digging irrigators, that's how we started, anyway. You do what it takes to get the water to the crops, and then you go to priesthood meeting. Right?

We have a long tradition of avoiding wretched excess. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without," that was the slogan. Enough is enough.

But there's another stream running through Mormon culture -- fads and fashions that leave the rest of us shaking our heads and wondering how things got so out of hand.

I remember when one of our children was about to be baptized, and the bishop came to us. "We're trying to get our baptismal services back to reasonable proportions," he said. "Would you mind setting an example by not serving refreshments or, really, doing anything except a little music and a few short talks?"

Since this was exactly what we had planned already, we readily agreed. Then the bishop sighed and said, "You wouldn't believe what some people have wanted to do."

We assured him that we would believe just about anything, and so he told us: The long videos and slide shows of the child's life; the refreshments that approached banquet status. "The worst thing is that it's become competitive," he said. "People trying to show how much they love their child by putting on the biggest feast and the best show."

I remember the first missionary farewell I was aware of as a 3-year-old in San Mateo, Calif. There was a nice little program, professionally offset printed (this was before Xerox), with a picture of the missionary on the front.

The whole sacrament meeting was devoted to this missionary -- his life, his family, with all kinds of music. And afterward, there was a reception in the cultural hall with elaborate, almost wedding-like decorations and refreshments.

Then, a couple of years later, I attended a funeral for the first time, and I was struck even then by the similarities. The same little printed program with a picture. The same absolute focus on the person rather than the gospel.

The Brethren keep trying to get these things under control -- and in our ward, at least, the "missionary farewell" is no longer a eulogy for a 19-year-old. All that happens is the departing missionary gives a gospel-centered talk. His parents do not speak, which means that they will not speak about him. It's a sacrament meeting.

Those old farewells were so ridiculous: heaping adulation on a young man who, after all, hadn't done anything yet. What we need is for the missionary to show us that he's a competent teacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Of course, you can't stamp out everything. People are free to hold parties or open houses in their homes after the meetings are over, and these serve a purpose -- friends have a chance to bid the young man farewell without scheduling individual visits.

But we've recently heard that in several wards in the Mormon Corridor, half the ward leaves church immediately after sacrament meeting and goes over to the missionary's house for a big reception.

I was stunned when I first heard of this practice, but I've had it independently verified -- there really are people who have such twisted priorities that they blow off Sunday School, priesthood meeting, Relief Society, Young Women and Primary in order to have a party.

The fact that the party is in honor of a missionary excuses nothing -- in fact, it makes the contradiction even sharper. If the church is important enough for this kid to spend two years of his life trying to get people to join it, then maybe his family and friends should wait to start their party until the church meetings are over for the day!

And even the parties that don't conflict with church services are still prone to that sick competition that makes families feel that somehow they're slighting their child if they don't spend hundreds of dollars putting on a completely needless festival in his honor.

If, after paying for his clothes and luggage and setting aside the funds for his mission, you still have enough cash to put on a banquet, then bake a few dozen cookies instead, and give the bishop the rest of the money you would have spent on the party -- clearly you have a surplus.

If we compete in any way, it should be to have the simplest possible reception, showing off (if we must show off) our prudence and good judgment.

Lately I've heard of an even-more-appalling fad that is sweeping through the church: bunko parties!

A relative reported on one such party. She was asked to fill in for a regular bunko player who had to miss a session. When she showed up, she learned that everyone was expected to chip in 10 bucks; the total amount was then given to the person who won the day's gaming.

"But how is that not gambling?" said the guest player.

Apparently no one had ever thought of it that way. (Oh, yeah, right.) But they decided that, because of the objections of this guest, they would have everybody ante up only five bucks, and then the day's money would be given to a charity.

I hope this sounds as funny to you as it did to me. If they were now going to give the money to the poor, why did they cut the ante in half?

There's a reason why the anti-gambling division of most big-city police departments was called the "bunko squad." It's because bunko is gambling!

And just because the people you're gambling with are in your Relief Society or priesthood quorum doesn't make it better -- it makes it worse!

It's like the old Mormon tradition of tossing food scraps into the "happy fruit" or "funny fruit" jar on the kitchen counter, where it "aged" and then got added to punches or desserts.

It wasn't "aging," kids, it was fermenting. Just because it was brewed at home didn't mean it wasn't an alcoholic beverage that violated the Word of Wisdom!

I wonder what those "good Mormon" bunko winners do about tithing. Your bishop can't accept tithing paid on winnings from games of chance -- bunko is no different from slot machines, poker or state lotteries on that score.

I've heard of one Mormon bunko player who figured out an elaborate way to pass his winnings through various hands until it became tithe-able. But let's get real here, folks: If you have to launder money in order to pay tithing on it, you really need to turn in your temple recommend until you get this problem under control.

The idea of joining together in congregations of the faithful is to strengthen each other in righteousness. Not to compete in giving parties for missionaries and baptizees. Not to make a little money by gaming in each other's homes.

If our pioneer forebears had foreseen some of the silliness and wretched excess of their descendants in "Zion," would they have bothered to sacrifice and suffer and struggle to get their families to the "tops of the mountains"?

And yet these follies continue to crop up -- and then sweep from one ward and stake to another. The Brethren continue to have to try to stamp out these wildfires of idiocy wherever they crop up.

I have a mental picture of two angels looking out upon these bunko-playing, competitive-party-giving, meeting-ditching Saints, and Joseph says to Brigham, "What are they thinking?" and Brigham says to Joseph, "Who are these people?"

Orson Scott Card is a writer of nonfiction and fiction, from LDS works to popular fiction. “In the Village” appears Thursdays in the Deseret News. Leave feedback for Card online.

P.S. As someone who did not grow up with quite as much "excess"--let me add this. One of the biggest problems I have with such excess is how the purpose is really to put down others. I know "intentions" may not be this, but as someone who has experienced other's "pretension", directed toward me and my family, in the past, I have seen how such cultural phenomena breeds assumptions of "excess" (whether truly wealthy or not)--and that the biggest, overall problem in the church is the assumption that "everyone" can afford such things--as well as the mistreatment of those who can't.

Case in point: As far as I know, my stake growing up--and most specifically, the youth in my ward were never even offered the opportunity to attend EFY. EVER! I'm not saying any of us would have wanted to attend. But, I remember asking about it once because my cousins were allowed to attend (and even had some of their fundraising for it--back in the day when the wards did that, supplemented by their stakes). I finally asked my parents, and they described how little money our ward had compared to others. Granted, the new budget system was supposed to equalize everything. BUT they pointed out how some of the people I knew who did attend lived in neighborhoods with neighbors with far more money than in mine. Thus, fundraising was far more successful. Thus, the majority of the youth in these wards were able to go to Scout camps, Girl's camps, and EFY--and the stake's were able to afford some of their budget to support such things. Our ward/stake was not like that.

I realized how unfair this all is/was (thus, why later the church changed their fundraising rules--although not without many whines and complaints from some of those wards who fundraised so much). And have yet, often experienced the assumption from others that EFY (or, for example now, the BYU Women's Conference) is an offering made fairly and equally to all. No, these are only offerings of the Church Education System for those whom can afford it. Which basically means the majority of the church (cause most of the church is now outside of the U.S., and many members in other countries live in true poverty) cannot, and never will, be able to attend (nor, in the case of most women who have to work in order to feed their families--do they have time).

I have to add: I know the Church leaders are constantly trying to solve such problems (i.e. why the Women's Conference is on BYUTV, why EFY has spread at least across the U.S., with efforts to make sure it occurs at local college campuses, instead of just at BYU), but my greatest frustration with all of this are the assumptions I've seen made by some of those who easily have such opportunities, that they are opportunities "most" have--instead of really--very very few.

So...

2009-05-18T16:14:00.001-07:00

So, I think comparing test scores to those countries we're often "compared" to, might be like comparing the, what, 50+ types (world wide, that is) of apples and oranges, the the maybe a dozen different kids of real potatoes (no, I'm not including sweet potatoes and turnips!) Little more color--perhaps a little more creativity....see what you think. Here's the article:

Ambitious Chinese deficient in critical thinking, creativity

By Randy Pollock

Los Angeles Times
Published: Sunday, May 10, 2009 12:03 a.m. MDT

Which country — the United States or China — will make the 21st century its own?

When President Ba ra ck O b a m a recently called for American young people "to be makers of things" and focus on subjects such as science and engineering, it was partly a nod to China's rapid growth. Had he lived, taught and consulted in China for the past 33 months, as I have, he might have urged American students first to follow his example and study the liberal arts. Only technical knowledge complemented by well-honed critical and creative thinking skills can help us regain our innovative edge. China's traditional lack of emphasis on teaching these skills could undermine its efforts to develop its own innovative economy.

I once challenged my Chinese MBA students to brainstorm "two-hour business plans." I divided them into six groups, gave them detailed instructions and an example: a restaurant chain. The more original their idea, the better, I stressed — and we would vote for a prize winner. The word "prize" energized the room. Laptops flew open. Fingers pounded. Voices roared. Packs of cookies were ripped open and shared. Not a single person text-messaged. I had touched a nerve.

In the end, five of the six groups presented plans for, you guessed it, restaurant chains. The sixth proposed a catering service. Why risk a unique solution when the instructor has let it slip he likes the food business?

Although I admitted the time limit had been difficult, I expressed my disappointment and reiterated what I had expected — originality — and why. But they had been so enthusiastic that I couldn't deny them a winner. After a polite discussion of the merits of each idea, the Haagen-Dazs gift certificates were awarded, but not without controversy. Runners-up later complained that an identical concept had been featured on CCTV the night before.

My students weren't recent college grads. They were middle managers, financial analysts and marketers from state-owned enterprises and multinational companies. They occupied the space in the developing economy that has spawned a small industry of articles about "China's great talent shortage." Most were intelligent, personable men and women, not without talent or opinions, but they had been shaped by an educational system that rarely stressed or rewarded critical thinking or inventiveness.

The scenario I've described occurred in different forms throughout my two years at the school. Papers were routinely copied from the Web and the Harvard Business Review. Case-study debates meant to be spontaneous were jointly scripted by the opposing teams and memorized. Students frequently posited that copying is a superior business strategy to inventing and innovating. When they considered the wealth that Chinese industry had amassed in such a short time, it was hard for them to believe otherwise.

Throughout the semesters, like students everywhere but more so, they wanted to know exactly what they needed to memorize for the mid-term and final. Considering that it takes me a week just to commit several Chinese phrases to memory, I had to respect their skills.

Nonetheless, I reminded them that their exams would require analysis and often re-explained, at their request, the difference between analysis and summary.

My Western-trained colleagues, foreigners and Chinese, tell similar stories. It's not that university students in the West hadn't also needed coaching in critical thinking, but they weren't so blindly locked into such a seemingly entrenched style. It doesn't help, of course, that certain important topics related to politics and business have to be avoided in my Chinese classes.

Ironically, the government that has enforced such restrictions and focused its schools so intensely on math and science seems to realize its efforts might be too effective. Highways, dams, bridges and airports have been built, every conceivable product manufactured and sold, but so few sophisticated marketing and management minds have been cultivated that it will be a long time before most people in the world can name a Chinese brand.

With this problem in mind, local partnerships with institutions such as the University of Southern California, Johns Hopkins, Yale, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Insead of France have been established. If not quite ready to create cadres of disaffected litterateurs and cineastes, Beijing clearly recognizes it will take different kinds of thinkers to invent new products and sell them around the world.

And then there's the "thousand-talent scheme," a new government program intended to boost technological innovation by luring top foreign-trained scientists, including those of non-Chinese origin, to the mainland with big money and perks.

But the officials and professors who conceived this "scheme" are likely products of the educational system that generated the problem they are trying to solve. They are ambitious. They are confident. They want to push China forward. But worries about China's research environment, hardly known for fostering independent thinking and openness, may overshadow lucrative salary offers.

"Money is important for practical issues," said Zhangqing Li, a University of Maryland professor, to Nature.com in January. "But the determinant factor is whether we would be able to be as productive in China as the United States."

Ultimately for China, becoming a major world innovator — and by extension, a robust economic power — is not just about setting up partnerships with top Western universities or roping off elites and telling them to think creatively. It's about establishing an intellectually rich learning environment for young minds. It's about harnessing the same inventive energy of the street markets and small-time entrepreneurs and putting it in the schools.

The Chinese don't need expensive free-agent scientists. They need a new farm system — and about 10 million liberal-arts professors.

Randy Pollock, a former lecturer at the University of Southern California, consults with companies on communication and management issues in China

My mom told me about this article...I can say this in agreement: I have been able to interact with A LOT of students (including a former roommate) from some of the Asian countries we're always told beat us out in all the "tests". Well, the many students (in more than one field) that I've met talk about how freeing the American education system is for them. One described sitting with her adviser and being told for the first time in her life that she could choose her own classes. They talk about, from practically the age of 4, being tested and told they need to choose what they want to "be". Many countries give only certain choices to them. They ALL have said (I've yet to meet a student from similar countries who disagrees), that as imperfect as our nation's public and higher education programs are, they LOVE that we get to choose, and learn whatever we want to. They love the lack of force into only specific things or areas. They've sure educated me!

A Request

2009-05-18T16:12:00.001-07:00

See that beautiful boy? His sisters too? Well--the boy is my nephew. Love him. The girls are my nieces.

Well--I have a request!

You know, I understand the dilemma--I really really do. I was a special ed. teacher for 7 years. I know the pressures we are under as a country. I have often felt that I had to go to work sick. Really--I have. I mean, one day away from my classroom with a substitute equaled at least 2 days clean up/fix up/make up! And, if you think dealing with subs in general is frustrating......try dealing with subs who are ignorant in general about working with kids with significant disabilities (my students). Some subs were AWESOME! Other's, were useles--and others would bring food and bribe my kids...even with my para's reminding them that a kid might be allergic to something they were just trying to feed that kid! Seriously!

So--I GET IT!!! And, at this point in my life, I totally understand the frustration. I have a job, and as a student, I know that sometimes you just CAN'T miss--(midterms, finals, visiting a student who desperately needs it, etc.)

But, I have a request. Especially after the world got to view the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episode, including the clip I have had published here on my blog (see that blog entry above or below this one).

Here is the Request:

There is absolutely, ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for people to go to church sick!!!! NO REASON PEOPLE!!! I would think after the flu scare, people would starting getting this.

But no!!! I spent most of Sacrament Meeting, and the majority of Sunday School out in the foyer yesterday. Why, you ask? Because the majority of the Ward was hacking and coughing, including the people directly behind me!!!!

I need to be well right now people!!! Whether it's shaking the hand of the member of the bishopbric last week--who had been hacking and coughing all during Sacrament Meeting (love the man--but barely touched his hand, and then ran and used my hand sanitizer)---to the hacking and coughing yesterday--

I am SICK AND TIRED of the selfishness. REALLY, I AM!!! Whether it's my sister being so afraid of her kids getting sick that she basically becomes inactive, or myself having to sluff half of church! ARG!!! People throughout the world now have lowered immune system diseases--all over the world (as the Extreme Makeover clip shows). Believe me, I understand the dilemma!

But, all I can say is that Heavenly Father is NOT going to be upset, or make you feel guilty for STAYING AT HOME from church if you are sick!!!!! I mean, ever since my mom was having chemo for cancer we've noticed as a family how people will drag themselves to church when they're incredibly ill! Why? Why? What are ya'll trying to prove? One week without the sacrament is not going to kill you if you have a cold, or the flu, or anything else!

It's not brave, it's not Spirit building! It's stupid and, honestly, selfish. Everyone else on this planet (in your Ward or Church, anyway) does not deserve to get what you have because YOU can't stay at home, watch some Church videos, and concentrate for ONE day on getting better!!!

And yes, I make a concerted effort when I'm sick, to NOT go to church.

So please, please, for the love of my nephew, my mom, and SO MANY OTHERS: HAVE SOME CHARITY....STOP GOING TO CHURCH WHEN YOU'RE SICK!!!!

Thank you!!! Pray for me! That I don't get the hacking uck everyone else in the Ward had!!!

This is the clip for my "Request" blog.

2009-04-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

This is perfect....

Wisdom is nothing...

2009-04-19T18:59:00.001-07:00

"Wisdom is nothing unless our students are taught to make human choices with their wisdom!!!!"

Quote given at Rachel Scott's funeral, the first victim at Columbine High.

NEVER FORGET--ALWAYS REMEMBER THE LESSONS WE LEARNED THAT DAY:

April 20, 1999--April 20, 2009

Cassie Bernall

Corey DePooter

Daniel Mauser

Daniel Rohrbough

Isaiah Shoels

John Tomlin

Kelly Fleming

Kyle Velasquez

Lauren Townsend

Matt Kechter

Rachel Scott

Steve Curnow

Coach Dave Sanders

I Feel a Vent Coming on....

2009-04-15T10:37:00.001-07:00

So, be fore-warned!!!

So, I love the Today Show. Anyone who follows this blog knows that. I'm not quite sure why--I've almost always had some favorite morning show--and this one would be the "top" of the list. Usually such a good thing to wake up to.

BUT, there is one thing (well, okay--probably more than one. Like how they'll have one "report" on some study about women and their "body image"--and how women and men are too obsessed with the "perfect" body. And then their next "report" will be on dieting. Ya--that gets REALLY old!)

BUT, ONE THING is not my favorite--or should I say person:

Dr. Nancy S nyd er man!!!!

Now--those of you who follow my blog know that I'm not usually the biggest fan of dr's in the first place (sorry to all you physicians out there). But seriously, this woman drives me nuts!!!

I'm sure she tries to be careful (well, maybe she doesn't). But, ARG she urks me!!! She always seems so "full of her own knowledge!!" And then today, they did this report on this robot some University in California is designing for kids with autism (ya--cause those of us who know and work with kids with autism didn't already know how well they connect with electronics like video games before!) And this woman had the GAUL to say something to the extent of "This is a break-through cause there is just nothing out there that works with kids with autism."

Kay--I just about fell on the floor. I HATE THAT!!!! How can she say something like that. There is SO MUCH that works for kids with autism--that is, if people quit looking for cures and teach and work with these kids!!! I've worked with a whole slew of children with autism--of all different ranges, and seriously....I'm so sick and tired of the attitude that "nothing works with them." Excuse me, but there are tons of great practices out there that works with them....if executed correctly. And no, no ONE THING works for EVERY KID with autism. ARGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! Where are the "Aspie's" when I need them.

You all must understand, though, that I take things much differently than a lot of the rest of the world. See, I see nothing wrong with a person having autism. I really don't. I see nothing wrong with someone having Down syndrome, or Cerebral Palsy, or any other disability for that matter. I understand the effects--better than most people. But, must admit that the more I have worked with and been blessed with wonderful people in my life who have disabilities, the more I've seen that they're fine the way they are---just as I'm fine as long as I'm choosing what is right. So, this whole "rush" and constant "push" for a "cure" just ticks me off!!! Let alone the push it has created, where parents of kids with other disabilities are now seeking any professional (whether they should be called a professional or not is questionable in my book), who will label their child with Down Syndrome, or with some other disability, with autism, just so they can access some of the insane amount of funding that has been set aside only for "autism". It really bugs me, honestly, because I've seen time and time again parents seeking "treatments" that are truly inappropriate for their child, because the "treatment" is not really what their child needs (nor is the diagnosis reliable nor accurate!). I mean, I do grasp and understand the desire to "treat" the autism, but seriously...it leads to such pure craziness sometimes!!! And even more, there are famous people (like a certain mom named Jenny G.) who claims her dr.'s have labeled her son as "cured" (ya--um, they'll say anything when SHE's the one paying them!!!!) Really--ya--let me work with her son for a while--I'll let you know if he's really "cured" or not.

I guess my biggest frustration with Dr. Nancy--beyond the vent above about the misunderstandings and stupidity toward disability (and how Dr.'s like her perpetuate all of this), is that she only sees things through the medical model of thinking, and unfortunately, the show purports her "knowledge" as the "end all" of everything--which it is not!!! Plus, she perpetuates the reality that I've experienced over and over again, that we should only ever contact physicians when it comes to disabilities. Do you know, that in reality, the majority of physicians know very little, if anything about most intellectual disabilities, especially those like autism? So, for the most part, the majority of their information that they tell people is full of falsehoods.

Have you noticed that the media very often does not seek out information from educators, or those who work regularly with people and children with autism for advice and information here? I mean, if they'd asked me, for example, about this robot, I would have said, 1. We've known for years that kids with autism are often drawn to electronic devices for interactions. and 2. There are pluses and minuses here. This is neither a cure, nor even a full fledged "treatment", as a treatment would need to be set up scientifically, and be correctly monitored. And, in reality, I would have concerns in general with a child with autism interacting only with a robot, if there was no generalization of their skills to actual human beings, whom they would be expected to interact with throughout their lives!

ARG!! All I can say. Maybe this is why I'm getting a PhD. Do you think with that blasted title behind my name, people will finally think that what I, as an educator, have studied and thought might actually truly be useful information? Seriously!!!!

Thank you for the vent. You may all continue to ignore Dr. Nancy's stupid assumptions at this time!

Things I've been thinking as of late:

2009-03-20T23:46:00.001-07:00

--Yes--I'm as not happy as many others about what our supposed "president" said about bowling and people with disabilities. Yes--I think he (I, and most of the rest of us) could get our heinies beat by those who compete in bowling (whether they have a disability or not).

--BUT---more so, I'm happy 1. That many in the world were offended--cause it's about flippin' time people paid attention to such prejudice. 2. I think the "pres" is learning a mighty important lesson, and 3. Although I know will sound as prejudice as the next (and yes, some consider me moderate or even "lib--ha ha"), but what do you all expect when putting someone in office who sees NOTHING wrong with a b o r t i n g babies at 30+ weeks, just cause the parent does not want to face the responsibility? In reality, doing this means shoving an unwanted (and possibly a child with a disability) child into a closet to die of starvation and neglect. Is this truly where we want to go people? Go back to, I should add? I mean--it is THIS side of ALL of the extremes (right and left) that is the problem people!!!! Both extreme sides (from S o c i a l i s t, to C o m m u n i s t, to N a z i s m) believes it is fine to kill people, especially to kill the supposed "weakest", or to allow them to kill themselves. Assisted s u i c i d e is just as bad here people--and the "slippery" slope is one we're already sliding down!!!!

---I'm really tired of people getting all caught up in the emotional crap the press feeds us, without truly realizing how they are only justifying said press and politicians to pass laws promoting early and later term a b o r t i o n, and assisted s u i c i d e. And don't even get me started on the emotional rollercoaster the press LOVES to put us on when it comes to public education...SHEESH!!!

--I'm also unhappy, on the opposite side, with the recent (last month's) Ensign. I know--how dare I question (although, as my mother reminded me--the editors of that magazine are hired--not "called")--but putting self-sufficiency against disability in the same freaking issue, emphasizing the prejudices and misunderstandings about families receiving assistance when they have a child with a disability within the words of the self-sufficiency articles really defeated the purpose of announcing the new website. ARG!! And yes--a letter is in draft form and getting ready to be "on it's way". As one mom smartly put it (who has a son with significant disabilities), having a child with a disability truly teaches us how dependent we are (and have to be) on each other!!! And points out in plainness (for anyone willing to look) those in the world who are willing to fulfill their human responsibilities, and those whom are not! Oh yea--I even spoke to my bishop about it--and was agreed with--especially with the fact that now church leaders are trained to support ward members in seeking appropriate assistance from their state/ the government--now if only we could go one step further and educate people on the services out there....and a whole load of other information that could only benefit families dealing with disability, chronic illness, mental illness, etc.!!!

--Full inclusion IS possible--I've seen it! And it's beautiful when it is supported, and allowed to work!

--It disgusts me that families feel like they have to pull their kids out of school and home school them because school districts are purposefully trying to get out of providing appropriate special education services. It disgusts me more that families aren't being provided appropriate advocates (and don't even know where to get advocates) to assist them. ARG!!!

--I have a testimony of The Scripture Readers. I know--weird--but man, those things are inspired!! They are helping MY study of the New Testament--I feel I so much better understand the New Testament than I did before!

--I'm all for "Get Rid of the 'R' Word Day"!!! And wish I could afford a T-shirt (may have to splurge for one!)

--I must admit, I really wish all the monies going to "cure" things (or at least most of it), would be refocused on other things---because truly, what have we (the human race) ever "cured" (other than perhaps loneliness--and no, I don't mean with drugs)????? We've treated a whole slew of stuff--even supposedly have rid the world of a couple things (although that's still questionable), so perhaps we should "hedge our bets" a little better, work on treatments, and perhaps spend the rest of the money on improving, oh, I don't know, health care for the masses or something? Now, that's an interesting idea...

--It scares the snot out of me how little people care about those with disabilities. On the other hand--it makes my life worthwhile when I see how much we can all care for each other, as equals!!! What a world of complete opposites we live in!!!

--I have a bunch of REALLY cool new websites to add to the side of this blog--so watch for changes soon :)

--Finally--I need to go to bed, and feel like there was something else I really wanted to post, which I now can't remember. Oh well--I'm sure it will come back to me later...

Where the ruber hits the road.....thank you for saying it how I couldn't!!!

2009-02-15T22:24:00.001-08:00

As one of the commentor's said: This is where the rubber hits the road: Are we willing to truly "love our brother's and sisters", no matter what abilities we are born with or without--or not?

Oh--and a comment at the end!

Printed in the Deseret News:

Down syndrome a modern-day death sentence

By Joseph A. Cannon

Deseret News
Published: February 15, 2009

Claire will never read these words. But at least she is alive and brings joy to her many friends and family members. You see, Claire is a survivor. She survived one of the most ruthlessly effective extermination programs in modern times.

Claire has Down syndrome.

Most of her Down syndrome brothers and sisters never got to be born. In the United States, more than 90 percent of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome are aborted. (In some other countries this number reaches 95 percent.) But apparently this isn't enough for those who would eradicate these defective persons. The problem is that the current methods for diagnosing the Down defect are ultrasound, biochemical exams or amniocentesis. But amniocentesis is expensive, invasive and potentially harmful to mothers and ultrasound may not be accurate.

Not to worry, Lenetix, a diagnostic technology company, has developed a new maternal blood test for the detection of Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities. With no irony, Lenetix CEO Leonard H. Kellner tells us "we take deep pride in the technology we have developed because it has the potential to impact the lives of millions of women and their unborn children." Lenetix medical director, Steve Brown, M.D., tells us that "pregnant women and their physicians are clamoring for an improved, noninvasive prenatal test because they fear the risks of amniocentesis."

Sounds wonderful, like describing a new life-saving wonder drug or technology. But the sad, stark fact, well-known to anyone in this field, is that virtually every diagnosis of Down syndrome lends to the abortion of that unborn child. This is eugenics with a vengeance.

While the folks at Lenetix may simply be doing their best to advance science, other voices are more sinister when it comes to aborting children with Down syndrome.

"Like many," notes Libertarian commentator Nicholas Provenzo, "I am troubled by the implications of . . . Sarah Palin's decision to knowingly give birth to a child disabled with Down syndrome. Given that Palin's decision is being celebrated in some quarters, it is crucial to reaffirm the morality of aborting a fetus diagnosed with Down syndrome." This is necessary, Provenzo informs us, "because a person afflicted with Down syndrome is only capable of being marginally productive."

Dr. Rahul K. Parikh, writing in Salon.com, takes a slightly more compassionate approach. While "greatly" admiring Palin's decision to "knowingly" give birth to a child with Down syndrome, it is critical that her decision not be imposed on other women. Parikh comes down hard on "rabid anti-choice activists who have called [aborting Down syndrome children] eugenics via medicine." Yet it is hard to see how this isn't "eugenics via medicine."

George Will defines "the pernicious quest for a disability-free society" as "respectable eugenics."

We are now quickly sliding down the slippery slope. What about people who are only "marginally productive" after they are born or when they get old? Are their lives worth preserving? And what does "marginally productive" mean anyway? In the literature "marginally productive" very often edges into "merely inconvenient."

In case you think these are red herring questions, hear Princeton professor Peter Singer. "Killing a defective infant is not morally equivalent to killing a person. Sometimes it is not wrong at all. That doesn't mean that it is not almost always a terrible thing to do." Not because there is anything inherently wrong with killing an infant but because "to kill an infant is usually to do a great wrong to its parents."

The ease with which we disregard the idea of life in its beginning and how we increasingly diminish restraints on voluntary euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide as life winds down, illuminates how far we have fallen from our founder's declaration that we are endowed by our Creator with the unalienable right of life.

Joseph A. Cannon is Claire's dad and editor of the Deseret News. He can be reached by e-mail at cannon@desnews.com.

First off: If we want to truly respect human life, get it right. It's a CHILD WITH DOWN SYNDROME!!!!! Respect the child first---not what they have.

Second--can anyone else out there also see how the absolute media frenzy and vilifying of the woman who has chose to have 8 children is also the "liberal" press, physicians, and philosophers finding yet another way to justify killing babies--and humans who are already here!!!??? Not that I agree with the means or the ways or the whys it all happened, the the propaganda SO MANY have gotten so caught up in only promotes the killing of babies, born or unborn more and more. Eugenics is more than real, it is here!!!! We need to wake up and see it!!!

Kay--I need somewhere to voice this....

2009-02-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

Kay...I've been very concerned as of late, with this story of 8 little ones being born in CA.

Most readers may think I was concerned cause they were born. Or cause the mom is single. Or cause the doctor didn't forsee this, or cause the mother's mother is speaking ill of her now.

But no, you know what I'm most concerned about? I'm most concerned with the fact that (as I view things), at least this mother was willing to truly use all of her embryos (no matter how they were created in the first place), and people--rude, hideous people, including many a physician, are acting like THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION IT!!!!!

ARG!!! I mean, seriously. I understand the ethical problems here. Really, I do. But, hey--I'm just happy that the woman WANTED all of her embryos. She didn't donate her unborn children (cause yes, I do consider unborn embryos as CHILDREN) to those greedy physicians to do scientific experiments on them. She didn't just allow them to die, or maintain them frozen for who knows how long.

She actually utilized them. The other things that are bugging me? That people are questioning her choices because "one of the children (or more) could have a disability!!!"--Like somehow that makes her choice irresponsible. Wait a minute here. She allowed them to have a LIFE--even if it is an imperfect life (which, last time I checked, ALL of our lives are imperfect!!!!)--And seriously, thus far they seem to be doing quite well. And seriously, it was totally unexpected that all 6 would implant, and that 2 would split into 2 sets of twins!!!

And, then, of course, people are questioning how, or why the doctor didn't "push" (or dare we say FORCE) her to selectively decrease her pregnancy. What, cause she's single? Or cause there were 8? Or just cause some how they have the RIGHT to force her to do such a thing?

You know, as crazy as it is (and as much as I DO NOT support the law that made selective decreasing legal) it is insane to me that the same physicians who supposedly find it ethical to end a life because of a parental choice, find it so unethical to save a life because of A PARENTAL CHOICE!!!!

Well--can I throw my support in the ring for this mom? Can I tell her I'm on her side? I know how she went about doing everything is questionable. But seriously, MANY more people have made opposite choices (or they wouldn't question hers so much), and I say to her....thank you for keeping all 8. Thank you for not selecting which ones got to live or die. Thank you for leaving your children's lives in the Lord's hands. And thank you for putting up with such a lack of support.

Oh--and thank you to her physician for respecting HER rights enough to allow her to keep her embryos, and treat them as lives instead as "property" (or some other horrible way).

Thank you for allowing me to voice that!!!

Not Dead Yet--

2009-02-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

Yet again--the blogger from my lovely link says it better than I can--about dignity.

This video says it all!!!

Saying it for me....

2009-01-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

I have to say thank you to the man whom I do not know personally--who writes the blog:

http://mormonmd.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/arguing-your-very-right-to-exist/#more-781

I have a link to his blog on one of my side widgets. I love you he writes--and speaks--about issues so well. As a pediatric neurologist he has amazing insight.

And today.....yet again, he put into words some of my many thoughts about life and the dignity of life that I have not been able to put into words as of yet.

So, the following is from his blog. To see more, and follow up on the links--click on the link on my side widget. He has a direct link to the New York Times that I do not have--and a picture of the woman involved:

"Last December 24th, in the New York Times, Dr. Peter Singer eulogized one Harriet McBryde Johnson. This was a tribute to their 2003 head to head meeting, in which they sat on opposite sides and engaged in the single most fascinating debate on human rights that I have ever read.

As a little background, Peter Singer is a very controversial figure. He is a member of the Princeton faculty and an atheist, an animal rights activist, and a bioethicist who takes some very controversial stands. Singer is a radical Utilitarian. He caries the ideas of this philosophy as far and as fast as he can carry them to their furthest conclusions. He rejects the “doctrine of the sanctity of life,” as stemming from an irrational religious dogma.

Consequently, he holds that a right to life can only be given to those who hold a preference to live, leading him to support abortion, infanticide, and euthanasia. Most disturbing of all to Ms. McBryde Johnson and other disability rights activists, he argues that parents of “defective” babies should be allowed to terminate them in order to replace the baby with one more likely to bring them happiness.

The reason this is so offensive to Harriet McBryde Johnson in particular, is that she herself was born one of those infants. She was born with a very severe muscle wasting disease that confined her to a wheelchair her entire life. She was an anomaly, supported by modern day antibiotics and technology to survive and thrive with a condition that it would never have been possible to survive with in the past. She graduated from Law school and was a practicing lawyer in South Carolina. She was also an atheist, fiercely independent, and abhorred the pitying poured upon her for her condition. She was a member of “Not Dead Yet,” a disability rights group that blockaded a university hall at Princeton in protest of Dr. Singer’s appointment.

And yet, here she was, meeting with the man, discovering to her dismay that in person, he was not a monster. He treated her with disarming respect and dignity. He calmly proceeded to argue that parents have every right to kill all babies born as she was, and argue an extermination of sorts for the greater good.

Ms. Johnson then proceeded to dismantle the idea that a baby can be “replaced.” That she and her brother born later have a complete package of strengths and weaknesses, virtues and flaws so different as to be incomparable. She proceeds in her own words to politely “argue for her very existence.”

She proceeds to note from personal experience that she ENJOYS her life. She speaks of a family she knew that found joy and beauty in caring for their completely unconscious daughter. She notes how assumptions about the quality of her life engender prejudice and pity and keep minds closed from really understanding her experience.

A student of Singer’s, noting that she eats meat, ponders why she has so much respect for human life and so little for animal life. She herself wonders how Singer can have so much respect for animal life and so little for the human. She argues that so much suffering, suicidality, pain in the world occur entirely in a framework of oppression, and that they are entirely curable.

More than anything, this debate is a battle of abstraction over real life. Bioethics has a love of the theoretical and the experiment in thought. Ms. Johnson had real life battles and experience fighting for her own right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

As a pediatric resident at the time, we discussed her writings and experience at length. In the course of discussion, one resident mentioned how “unreasonable” it is to give sway to the emotional arguments of those whose lives are directly affected by these issues. Personally, I can see nothing more unreasonable than refusing to give the personal experience of the disabled the greatest weight in discussing rights and quality of life.

I think this debate exposes the real danger of high minded ethical and social theory. In their detachment, in their ivory tower, they can support a system that in its true life practice is inhumane, cruel and revolting. Life is not abstract. Life is life. Ideas like Dr. Singer’s have been used in support of eugenics, which reached unknown heights in the 1940’s in Nazi Germany.

Ms. Johnson saw herself on the forefront of the battle to ensure such things never happen again. While I do not agree with her every position, particularly in relation to a higher power, like Dr. Singer I am taken by her fight, her dignity, and her vision for a more equitable world. Her passionate, reasoned, and articulate arguments touched the heart and opened the mind of this Doctor. I invite everyone to read the experience as written in her own words for the New York Times."

Wow....wow....wow......

Here is the first paragraph from her New York Times article. Wow!

"He insists he doesn't want to kill me. He simply thinks it would have been better, all things considered, to have given my parents the option of killing the baby I once was, and to let other parents kill similar babies as they come along and thereby avoid the suffering that comes with lives like mine and satisfy the reasonable preferences of parents for a different kind of child. It has nothing to do with me. I should not feel threatened."

To read more--link onto his site--and then onto the NYTimes article :)

Post

2009-01-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

So,

I have a post that I've been working on in my head--and researching about. And I'm still not "there" with it. I'm trying to figure out how to say what I want to say--what I feel, what I know to be true. You wouldn't think it would be hard--but I must admit I'm trying to not be offensive either. Ya--I know--on some of my other blogs it may seem like I don't care about offending people. And, it's not that I'm "afraid of men" more than God here. It's just that what I want to share is very important and dear to me---but it is about a truth that I have noticed in life many do not understand. We all can have a hard time with it the practices related to this truth.

Anywho--so for anyone who actually reads this blog--there is a future blog in planning.

On another, somewhat related topic--I attended a funeral yesterday for a most amazing person. I won't go into details, as I do not believe it is my place. But, an emphasis of this person's life--and those around him--was dignity (thank you to the person at the funeral who discussed this so wonderfully). This topic will be discussed more at a later date. But, I realized--and am still realizing---through this experience--how perhaps in our LDS faith we don't often consider the dignity of life as much as perhaps we should. Especially when considering those with significant disabilities and how we think, feel, and act toward them. I've thought much since yesterday about Christ's life--and how He showed so much respect for the dignity of other's lives. But, I actually also think that we, as humans (LDS or not) often assume more about Christ's work, without really reading the scriptures and knowing what He did and how He did it.

As part of my scripture study this year I am taking notes as I read the New Testament about all of the times when the Lord "called" or "corrected" others in a very blatent and sometimes perhaps brazen way--especially the Pharisees and Saddchuseese (okay--totally can't spell that!). This may seem strange to study--but throughout my life I have found times when the "words or actions" I have felt actually "called" upon to use were not, per say, agreeable to all whom may have received them. In recent days, we have been called upon to do this as LDS church members--to stand for what we believe in. And throughout the experiences of the last couple months I have had it testified to me, yet again, that what Joseph Smith said "Whatever the Lord requires, is right" is so true--even if it means that we are not agreeable nor seemingly "respectful" to others--especially if their actions are not aligned with the Lord's Commandments. Certainly, we should show the same kind of respect for the dignity of life which Christ did have--but more and more these experiences have reminded me that we need to truly know and understand how and what occurred throughout Christ's life--and not assume or "read into" His actions things that may not truly be there.

Anyway--for some reason I'm a babbling....call this a pre-post to the post to come (once I've figured out how to "say" it.)

Not to wreck the spirit...but I feel a soapbox coming on...

2008-12-15T21:20:00.000-08:00

Kay...run and hide if you can't handle a soapbox at this time. But, I had to post something (sorry Jam...).

I admit, I read the UT news a lot. Mainly, to keep up on the UT news so I have something to talk to my parents about. And also, cause it reminds me often of how different things are when outside of UT--and even outside of some "Mormon" zones--as I call them.

A very stupid UT senator, who somehow got re-elected (seriously people...does anyone who votes for this man ever realize how horrible he makes UT look, LDS people, etc???)

Anywho...I digress. But, to start off this man decided to make a "resolution" demanding that all stores tell everyone "Merry Christmas", because some "conservatives" (probably those whom keep this idiot man re-elected) were whining to him that at their jobs they were being told by their managers and bosses to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".

As this stupid man (whom I cannot stand) stated--he wanted this resolution cause "this country is a Christian country".

Kay---really? Why was the U.S. created in the first place? Why did the Pilgrims come? Anyone, anyone?

Ever heard of RELIGIOUS FREEDOM?!!! Good freaking grief!! Do people recognize how freaking important that first amendment is? I know I've had to quote it A LOT in the last few months cause of all the political hooplah lately!!!!

So--now we have a state senator, from one of the most conservative states, going AGAINST the first amendment, and making a "resolution" forcing everyone to be Christian. NICE!!! No wonder he's wanting to pass a resolution, and not a law. Cause that law would be found UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!!!

As a former teacher, I tried very hard to be sensitive to whatever beliefs my students held. I had a friend as early as 2nd grade who was a J e h o v a h's W i t n e s s. I had a wonderful teacher in 2nd and 3rd grade who was J e w i s h, and taught us all about his religious holidays--even how to play d r a y d e l (sorry if I spelled that wrong). I have friends now who are J e w s, atheists, M u s l i m, and have no religion at all. If there is anything I hold as dear as I hold my testimony of Christ, it is that Constitution --and the rights and responsibilities that come with it. And one of those responsibilities is that we be respectful to EVERYONE--even if it means that our employer requests of us to be respectful and say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas".

The fact of the matter is that most of the traditions we hold so dear for Christmas have nothing to do with Christ. The fact of the matter is that it is likely that Christmas is not even held on Christ's actual birthday. So, I have a hard time believing that He would support forcing everyone to say "Merry Christmas", just as He was against forcing everyone to believe in Him!!!

So, if saying "Happy Holidays" to people means that I include more Americans, and respect the first amendment right we all have to believe in whatever religion we choose (or don't choose)--so much the better!! I don't see that as not keeping "Christ" in "Christmas"--cause one can argue that the point of the American and European traditions of Christmas were never "religious" in the first place!!! What I believe is that WE choose whether we "keep Christ in Christmas" by how we treat others. I guess my question is, does forcing everyone to believe in Christ make us more Christ-like? Hmmmm...I think that is the opposition's view point, not Christ's.

So, I say, why stress so freaking much over whether we say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas". To be truly honest, I truly see this issue so much as a UT and Mormon Zone issue, that it's not even funny!!! Now that I live beyond these zones, I'm wished Merry Christmas as much, if not more, than I'm wished anything else. And seriously, I have no problem wishing my Jewish, Muslim, and friends of other beliefs Happy Holidays---just as I have no problem wishing Merry Christmas. Out here, the issue is so nill and void---that when I read the story in the UT news, I first laughed out loud. Cause beyond the places where people freak out about it, and blow it out of proportion, there really is no issue with it all.

So, I guess, the point to my soapbox is: keeping Christ in Christmas is one's choice--just as believing in Christ is one's choice. If other's chose not to believe in Christ, that does not mean that we lose anything by wishing them something different than Merry Christmas--just as they lose nothing by wishing us Merry Christmas. Or, perhaps, by doing so, those of my friends, for example, whom may believe differently than I, show great respect for my beliefs--just as I can do for them.

Thank you--feel free to return to your "Happy Holidays" now. :)

Are you shocked?

2008-11-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

I actually haven't had anything I've been frustrated about to blog about lately! (i.e. in the advocacy department). Right now I'm just swamped with homework and everything else on my plate (3 jobs, etc.). Maybe soon I'll post again (those who follow this blog often can go to my "whine and cheese" blog for more regular updates!)

Let's make the world more accessible...

2008-11-09T17:44:00.001-08:00

Yet again, this amazing show makes the point so much better than anyone else seems able to!!!

Why?

2008-11-09T17:38:00.000-08:00

Kay...

So...even though there are a couple dozen different ways to get an ample and great (and maybe even better) forms of s t e m cells,

why, oh why---now that the election is over...does one of the first "act" have to be "no, kill zygotes, fetuses, etc." to get those cells?

I mean....just cord blood alone, from what I've read, seen, and heard, can provide so many more cells, even better cells, and there are AMPLE opportunities to "harvest" (I hate that word) and obtain, and store those cells....

So why, why, why????!!!!!

ARG!!!!

Special Request!

2008-11-09T17:07:00.001-08:00

Hey ya'll out there who regularly read my blog....and have links on your blogs to my blog:

I have a special request.

As the "web" is what it is--I do try to make sure that I am careful.

So, I am requesting that upon your links on your blogs/cites---please refrain from using my full name and my last name on your links.

Please either use just my first name, or my initials.

I hope to do the same for you--so if you'd prefer your name be listed a different way on my blog links, please let me know.

Thanks!

This is why I left Utah...

2008-10-19T21:25:00.001-07:00

I recently was reading this in a famous Utah newspaper. I found it totally hysterical:

The profile of an LDS single twentysomething
By McKay Coppins
Friday, Oct. 17, 2008

You are a single, Mormon twentysomething.

You have a Facebook account that you pretend not to use very much. "I barely even go on it," you tell people. "I should just delete it," you say. In reality, it is an irreplaceable social lifeline. How else would you know what every single one of your acquaintances is doing at any given moment? Those status updates come in handy:

Andrew is sick ... bah!
Nick has SO MUCH homework to do.
Carly misses her family!

You have fallen in love, had your heart broken, fallen in love some more, and broken hearts. When you have to break hearts, you try to be as Christlike as possible, but sometimes you're just not sure what Jesus would do in romantic situations. You find this to be one of the New Testament's greatest deficiencies.

Michelle is confused :(

You probably would have voted for Mitt Romney, and you definitely voted for David Archuletta. If not, you at least know who both of them are. Maybe you like The Killers, maybe you don't. But you know that the lead singer is a Mormon, and you probably know that his son's name is Ammon. If you didn't know that before, it is the coolest thing you have learned today. Famous Mormons fascinate you. Maybe they make you feel more normal.

Tara is THIS CRUSH AIN'T GOIN' AWAY!!!!

You listen to Coldplay. You love Coldplay. Especially Viva la Vida. "My missionaries in a foreign field." Sweet!

Politically, you are either a liberal fighting to be accepted or a conservative fighting to be seen as a free thinker. It's possible that you are politically apathetic, but even if you are, you still love Mitt Romney and Proposition 8.

Garrett is voting YES to PROP 8.

You don't remember a time when blacks couldn't receive the priesthood, and that part of church history might make you squirm a little. Generally, you are more tolerant than your parents were, and less tolerant than your kids will be. If you encounter a door-knocking Jehovah's Witness who demonstrates courtesy and tact, you will return the sentiment and maybe even like him.

Whether you spend your Friday nights speed dating or watching "Lost" DVDs alone in your apartment, you ultimately yearn for eternal companionship -- as long as that companion doesn't listen to country, or part his hair, or talk about genealogy, like, all the time. Some may call you picky. You are still searching for a more pleasant adjective.

Jackie is so sick of guys.

You are more aware of your own faults, flaws and weaknesses than perhaps anyone else in the world. You blog about them incessantly. You talk to your roommates about them so that they, in turn, can talk about their own shortcomings. You and everyone you know would probably enjoy therapy quite a bit. But let's be honest -- you wouldn't be caught dead in therapy.

You are a singer, an intellectual, a Sunday school teacher, a law student, a fluent Spanish speaker, a soccer player. You are a single, Mormon twentysomething.

And so am I.

Now--I did not find it completely true--as I am not all of those things that this bloggist wrote (check it out in Mormon Times). First off, I'm not in my twenties, second, I don't watch that music show with David A. (which, you should be able to tell, cause I can't even remember the name of it right now), and I would never have voted for Mitt Romney! (Sorry--anyone who wants to round up all the "illegals" as I've heard them called and haul them all back to their native life, no questions asked, would NEVER get my vote! I'd like to look in his family history and see if any of his distant relatives snuck off of Ellis Island or something!) Anyway--I digress...

So--I know--yet again I was silly and went into the comments. And there, I was shocked and amazed by what I read. Sorry--this will not be positive:

Here's comment #1:
After reading the story - twice - I still didn't get what it was about - is this guy a writer by profession or did he just copy a page out of his journal!?!

Kay people--it was meant to be a tongue and cheek blog! Dur--a blog is not an article. And if you don't get it--you obviously have never been on Fb--or single in your twenties.

Comment #2: Yeah.....this was the worst piece of journalism I've seen on this site....would have been better to post enough to make it clear...

Comment #3: I can't believe the editor allowed this story to be printed. It doesn't even match the level of a junior high english in class writing assignment. Maybe it's her first article that she has ever written.

Yea--thought that one was funny--as the bloggist was male--not female.

Okay--so you likely get the perspective that most of the commentors at least sounded like they were never single in their twenties, and certainly have no idea what Fb is. But then, there were a few positive comments:

Comment #4 and so forth: He is a blogger, not a journalist. This isn't supposed to be a news story. While I'm a married 30-something female (and a former journalist), even I saw the humor in his generalizations about the 20 something, single LDS adult. That is all.

Actually it's a guy who wrote it. But I'm pretty sure this is more of a conceptual article than a new article. I thought the tone was pretty cool.

While I thought the format was confusing, I did think his characterizations weren't bad. I got married in my mid-20s and still have two single, 20-something siblings trying to wade through that world, and I think he captured what they and many of their friends sometimes feel and experience. Of course it doesn't fit everyone, so don't get upset if it doesn't describe you.

Wow! I started thinking. There are some intelligent people out there who "get" it--and aren't single! Ya--then this started happening:

Comment # I've lost count: Wow. I am not single, but that makes me sad reading that. I think I have many friends that might fit many of those descriptions. I need to remember them.

Then--some dude supposedly "named" George came on--and all hell broke loose (yes, hell!):

Comment by George: Yep... the single Utah Mormon 'woe is me' generality gets a little press time. First of all, not the best work I've ever read. If it's interpretive creative writing class 101 then, maybe. Whatever your reaction, the public should not consider this to be an accurate portrayal of anything but the author.
Although, in his defense, it's true that many single mormons are lethargic in their quest for a change in status (i.e. marriage) and act as equally pathetic. But again, that is a generalization from this author and not one that should be applied to every soul attending a singles ward.
My response: get off of facebook and the narcisstic 'status' updates, get out of the house, get off of the 'Lost' addiction, get out of the singles ward, and start living a happy and productive life in any and all other facets.
Men are that they might have joy, but I suppose to some that's merely a suggestion.

Ya--late find out that George is a 29 year old single guy--but he's not bitter--right? So, by this point, I had HAD it--and HAD to comment. Yah--cause life comes with absolutes or something? WHATEVER!!!!!!!

So--here's my first comment. Sorry to all of you who got married young. I really am not trying to be offensive--but just make the point that how can those who were married young really understand what it's like to not have that happen in life? As well as, that those making negative comments obviously either didn't "get" it--or don't have a sense of humor!

My comment #1: So, tell me--how old are all of you who didn't get it? It's a blog--dur! As a single used to be twenty-something (but not so much older than the author) it was a perfect example of twenty (and some thirty) somethings dealing with the conundrum of being in that age range, being single (still), LDS, and dealing with the realities of this world--something most of the LDS population (who got married young, have 2.5 or more children, and live in one of the "Mormon" zones would NEVER understand!). I think I can likely assume that those who put negative comments on here are no where near that age, or are too full of themselves as Mormon twenty somethings to EVER have a successful Facebook page. Seriously!

Ya--I won't go into most of the rest of the nastiness that insued (no--I did not try to add to the nastiness--but instead tried to, I don't know, help people understand that life doesn't always work out how we plan.)

But, basically, by the end it was assumed that disillusioned meant "from the church" (UM--NO!!!! STILL VERY ACTIVE, THANK YOU! NO, DISILLUSIONED IS MORE FROM THE CULTURAL IDEAL THAT THERE ARE ABSOLUTES IN LIFE--THAT WE ALL WILL GET THE SAME THINGS, AND IF NOT, IT IS BECAUSE THOSE OF US WHO DIDN'T COMMITTED SOME MAJOR SIN! ARG! ) Seriously!!! Is that not why Christ said (when speaking about the man with a disability and the assumption that his parents had sinned) that no one had sinned, but rather it had occurred to bring to pass the will of the Lord? Kay--not quoting directly there, obviously!

Here is one of my comments:

George: the blog, as well as my comments were meant to be tongue and cheek. Not that it seems you have a sense of humor. Oh--and assuming that my title of "disillusioned" means I've been disillusioned from the church is completely false. My testimony is large and strong! No, what I've become disillusioned by is the overwhelming and completely untrue Mormon culture---where anyone who somehow doesn't magically get married by 19 (female) and 22 (male) is excluded and treated like they have a fatal disease! My comment about getting married young was not to state that I disagree with getting married young--but instead with the notion that anyone who isn't married young has committed a major sin! I would assume that as an LDS Mormon male who has likely had to put up with jokes about being of the wrong persuasion or "older than 25" you would get that! Ahhh--but to each their own...continue in the world of LDS culture absolutes! While the rest of us read the blog with a sense of humor (as it was intended), and enjoy that perhaps we who are still single might just be allowed beyond the "back" row of the ward!

Then someone dared say this! OH MY WORD---THIS IS WHY I LEFT UTAH--DO PEOPLE THERE REALLY THINK THIS WAY? Well--I mean--that's a dumb question. I was often treated by complete strangers as if they thought this way...never the less:

Someone's comments: Heavenly Fathers plan does require us to marry and populate the earth. Being a 20 something single is just not right. I would think people try a little harder and use agency properly. Heavenly Fathers plan is in action and I would suggest people take advantage of participation. I just dont get it.

Yea--she really doesn't get it! It's like those BYU professors who created conferences to study why Sherri Dew had CHOSEN to remain single. I don't think a woman who was basically practically left at the temple alter, by a guy who started dating, quickly got engaged, and married her best friend left her with much "choice". And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's always the guy's fault either....

So--my response--and yes, by now I was more than just annoyed--I was upset!:

Obviously Jaymee has NEVER experienced a life where she doesn't get everything that she has ever desired. It's a lot harder to "use agency properly" when marriage involves TWO PEOPLE'S AGENCY!!! As someone who tried all that one could think of, short of begging and "settling" for someone the Spirit told me not to "settle" for (ya--I listen to the Spirt)! Honestly, if the Lord's plan was for all of us to be married by 19 or 22, He would have designed each of our lives to work out that way. But some of ours just haven't--and we certainly don't need more people like Jaymee on the planet who have decided that somehow THEY have the right to a say to judge how we've lived our lives!!! All I can say is that every decision I EVER made in my life was LED BY THE SPIRIT!

Oh--and just so ya'll know--there was never even an option of "settling" for someone! Ya--it's not like I'm here, working my brains and spirit out to almost every extreme imaginable without praying and truly seeking an answer first!

Luckily--I was not the only one totally appalled by that assumption of absolutes:

Being 20 something single is "just not right"? Tell that to the faithful members who haven't had the opportunity to be so blessed as to get out of the single state yet. The Lord works in His way and His timing. Have a little faith.

Now--a couple other people agreed--but were a little less congenial--so I won't post their comments. But, the "joy" continues. These are 2 more comments about how all those who are in their 20's (or older) and still single are completely evil:

(Oh--but wait--George decided that I'm incredibly bitter about life. Um--you should go read the rest of his comments--as bitter as a rotten lemon!)

Why is this a story. Follow the Prophet. We need not waste this time in finding ourselves. We have a task at hand and selfishness and finding ourselves are not part of that. Be responcible LDS people and serve your Lord and Prophet. Marry young and spread the TRUE gospel to the world. I find it selfish that so many will not follow the Prophet nor the Lord on this matter. I think the Church should close single wards in order to bring those whom will not marry into compliance with Heavenly Fathers will.

This almost falls into the same category as Prop 8 in California and the whole gay marriage issue. Without temple marrriage and procreation we are nothing. I think people to examine this and take a look on the seriousness of the issue of 'choosing' to wait.

Um--yea--I've always followed the prophet. The last prophet (whom was still alive when I made most of my education decisions) said that women should get as much education as they can--so I have. I admit, I don't agree with this notion that as a single, LDS female I should just sit around pining for my "prince charming", wasting my time and my parent's money! And, I believe the General Authorities--agree with my feelings. I've followed my patriacle (sp?) blessing--prayer--so forth, always been what I've tried to follow.

So, here's my last comment:

There is a DIFFERENCE between CHOOSING to wait-and waiting because you are DOING WHAT THE LORD WANTS YOU TO DO! Do you all REALLY think that the commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth" only has to do with having babies? Do we not have other gifts and talents which the Lord expects us to multiply in order to replenish the earth?

I have not CHOSEN my situation in life-instead have found it has CHOSEN me-as the Lord has intended.I am APPALLED by all of you bigoted people who think that people who don't have perfect lives are some how evil.

The real point here is that the Lord's mission is different for all of us. Do I want to be married? YES! Do I want children? YES! I always have--anyone who doubts this has no idea what it is like to walk in my shoes. But, my life has not presented me the same advantages you all take so much for granted. Walk a day in someone elses shoes! That's what the Lord would do!

Anyway--this blog is really long--but I just wanted to post this because this is one of the reasons why I left Utah--and are so much more happy outside of the state!

It appalls me that there are members of the church who's minds are so small! There are no absolutes for this life. We agreed to that when we agreed to come here! Everyday, we see signs of "opposition" to life--children are born too early, cars get into accidents, people become victims of crime, everyday people find out they have cancer, or diabetes. Everyday, children with disabilities are born. People throughout the world live in poverty and starve! People everywhere even lose money in the stock market! And yes, for many a reason ranging from physical and mental illness to circumstances beyond our control--and even, sometimes, some people actually are allowed to make the choice, members of the church remain single, even though they desire something completely different.

But, this life is NOT a life of absolutes! The Lord did not promise us a perfect life, and those who currently have one....will learn (as the General Authorities said in this last month's Ensign) that afflictions and trials will come to all of us at some point. Who knows, perhaps one of their trials is understanding that life is not always perfect--and that it doesn't mean that those of us whose lives exemplify this have committed a major sin!

In truth--much of my early twenties were spent thinking very similarly to the first girl who thought that all those who are older and still single had done something wrong. I did everything I could think of to change my own circumstances. You know what I had to learn? First, that I had to forgive myself for things that affected my life that were beyond MY control, and I had to learn what the Lord wanted me to do. He wanted me to go to school, He wanted me to move home and help out my family while my mom had cancer and a sibling had health problems. He wanted me to teach school and support families that way. He wanted me to struggle and wait for His timing---not to find a husband as of yet, but to get into a Masters, and then a Doctoral program. Over and over in my life the reality of His hand in my life and his direction has so shown true. He has made everything that I do completely possible--and I am immensley grateful for that. He has blessed me with a most fulfilling joy in what I've been able to study and do. I get to serve people--and help them find answers they have not been able to find elsewhere. Is life always easy--I think my blog shows that it completely not. Would I prefer to not be doing this all by myself--most of the time. I have to admit that one thing I am definitely learning through this experience is that once the Lord decides it is time for marriage--I hope to not take for granted that there may just be someone else to take out the garbage sometimes, or shovel the walks, or dig in the garden, or make all the money, or even unpack all of the stupid boxes I still have sitting in my house cause I am only one person--and have not had time to unpack them. It is certainly not easy to be the only breadwinner--even if you're only winning bread of yourself. This experience has certainly helped me become far more compassionate toward other singles, and single parents!

So--what is my point...well...basically that this life is NOT a life of absolutes--and perhaps people should remember that before commenting on something they truly may not understand--especially the experience of being single, LDS, and in your later 20's (or older than that)!

New from the Church

2008-10-12T20:09:00.001-07:00

Perhaps it is because I'm teaching Seminary now, using these. Or, perhaps because I've recently realized that I may be learning more of the "basics" about the New Testament (the book we're teaching this year) by using these than I have probably learned before (which to me testifies that they are inspired), but I just wanted to post that you can now get these on-line! And can even view them or listen to them too--which is just awesome!

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=12f1d9e1ec1cb110VgnVCM100000176f620aRCRD&locale=0

I also think it's awesome about the new Nursery Manual! I taught Nursery before moving to the Midwest, and LOVED it--but did notice that the manual (as many others are) was a little out of date! So, glad it's been updated!

Oh--and along the lines of teaching an--can I call it "adapted" rather than "special needs"--cause I hate using that phrase--ugh---seminary class, I'd like to list some of the things I've found VERY useful so far:

The Scripture Readers Teaching Guide! Really really helpful! The CD Rom--not so much (not very user friendly--at least not for this user--but the book is great!)

The videos of the New Testament that the church approved years ago--that shows the actual stories being acted out where they actually occurred. The music is really dramatic--and the acting a little funky--but they really have helped me give a visual of what is going on!

The Churches accepted pictures--always helpful to teach things more than one way.

The Hymns on CD--very helpful as my class is small--so we basically listen to a hymn, rather than sing/sign it.

Any and all church items in ASL!! I need the New Testament--and can't order it on-line. But, what I have so far is very helpful! (P.S. Go on Ebay and purchase there. Cheaper than the Distribution Center. I know--how sacreligious am I!)

And--I have to admit that I have not been using the Seminary Student/Teacher guide all that much (sorry!). Haven't found it very user friendly (including the CD Rom--unfortunately), and hard to adapt. I think if I was teaching a large class--and just using the teachers guide, rather than the student guide, I would be able to adapt better. But, I have a background in special education, so I suppose I can see why it's more difficult for those who don't have such a background to adapt like I could.

So--sorry--that was not meant to be a "rate the item" entry--but maybe this information could be helpful for any of you out there doing the same thing I'm doing.

CELEBRATE!!!! GREATER KC AREA TEMPLE!!! WOO HOO!!!

2008-10-04T09:40:00.001-07:00

So--I have my hammer. Let's start building!!!!

I have to say...more than once in my life the Lord has let me know---has blessed me with a testimony of new temples to be built. This time....I even received a calling that went along with it. Had no idea it could occur so soon. But let's get a building before anyone or thing can "come against it". Go KC Team!!!

Divine Love...

2008-09-28T21:54:00.001-07:00

So, I must admit here....

I REALLY wish people would read this talk--and remember what Elder Neilson said. This was printed in the 2003 Feb. Ensign--and yet people still preach the concept he writes is false doctrine, as if it's correct. It's not. I know we have been told that we should treat the Ensign like scriptures...so I wish people would READ this--and Remember it!!!

Divine Love

By Elder Russell M. Nelson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Russell M. Nelson, “Divine Love,” Liahona, Feb 2003, 12

While divine love can be called perfect, infinite, enduring, and universal, it cannot correctly be characterized as unconditional.

In today’s world trembling with terror and hatred, our knowledge of divine love is of utmost importance. We bear responsibility to understand and testify that Heavenly Father and Jesus the Christ are glorified, living, and loving personages. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” 1 Jesus “so loved the world that he gave his own life, that as many as would believe might become the sons of God.” 2 Indeed, the Father and the Son are one—in purpose and love. 3
Divine Love Is Perfect and Infinite

Their love is divine by definition. Scriptures also describe it as perfect. 4 It is infinite because the Atonement was an act of love for all who ever lived, who now live, and who will ever live. 5 It is also infinite because it transcends time.

Divine Love Is Enduring

Divine love is enduring: 6 “The Lord … keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations.” 7

Divine Love Is Universal

Divine love is universal. 8 God “maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” 9 Jesus is the light of the world, 10 giving life and law to all things. 11 “He inviteth … all to come unto him … ; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female.” 12 And all are invited to pray unto our Father in Heaven. 13

Divine Love Is Also Conditional

While divine love can be called perfect, infinite, enduring, and universal, it cannot correctly be characterized as unconditional. The word does not appear in the scriptures. On the other hand, many verses affirm that the higher levels of love the Father and the Son feel for each of us—and certain divine blessings stemming from that love—are conditional. Before citing examples, it is well to recognize various forms of conditional expression in the scriptures.

Conditional Forms

Several forms of conditional expression may be found in the scriptures:

• “If … [certain conditions exist], then … [certain consequences follow].” (The indicators if and then may be written or implied.)

• “Inasmuch as … [certain conditions exist], … [certain consequences follow].” 14

• “Except … cannot … ” 15

• “Prove … , if … ” For example, a verse pertaining to our creation reveals a prime purpose for our sojourn here in mortality: “We will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” 16 Life here is a period of mortal probation. Our thoughts and actions determine whether our mortal probation can merit heavenly approbation. 17

The Conditional Nature of Divine Love

With scriptural patterns of conditional statements in mind, we note many verses that declare the conditional nature of divine love for us. Examples include:

• “If ye keep my commandments, [then] ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.” 18

• “If you keep not my commandments, [then] the love of the Father shall not continue with you.” 19

• “If a man love me, [then] he will keep my words: and my Father will love him.” 20

• “I love them that love me; and those that seek me … shall find me.” 21

• “God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.” 22

• The Lord “loveth those who will have him to be their God.” 23

• “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.” 24

The Conditional Nature of Divine Blessings

It is equally evident that certain blessings come from a loving Lord only if required conditions are met. Examples include:

• “If thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, … then I will lengthen thy days.” 25

• “If thou wilt walk in my statutes, and execute my judgments, and keep all my commandments … ; then will I perform my word with thee.” 26

• “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.” 27

• “When we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” 28

• “Unto every kingdom is given a law; and unto every law there are certain bounds also and conditions.” 29

The Lord declares: “All who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof. …

“And as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, it was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that receiveth a fulness thereof must and shall abide the law, or he shall be damned, saith the Lord God.

“… The conditions of this law are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed … of him who is anointed, … are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead.” 30

Other laws are designed to bless us here in mortality. One such law is tithing: “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, … and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord … , if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” 31 Such a blessing is conditional. Those who fail to tithe have no promise. 32

Again, “all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised … that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.” 33

Why is divine love conditional? Because God loves us and wants us to be happy. “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.” 34

Our Defense against False Ideologies

Understanding that divine love and blessings are not truly “unconditional” can defend us against common fallacies such as these: “Since God’s love is unconditional, He will love me regardless …”; or “Since ‘God is love,’ 35 He will love me unconditionally, regardless …”

These arguments are used by anti-Christs to woo people with deception. Nehor, for example, promoted himself by teaching falsehoods: He “testified unto the people that all mankind should be saved at the last day, … for the Lord had created all men, … and, in the end, all men should have eternal life.” 36 Sadly, some of the people believed Nehor’s fallacious and unconditional concepts.

In contrast to Nehor’s teachings, divine love warns us that “wickedness never was happiness.” 37 Jesus explains, “Come unto me and be ye saved; … except ye shall keep my commandments, … ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.” 38
Divine Love and the Sinner

Does this mean the Lord does not love the sinner? Of course not. Divine love is infinite and universal. The Savior loves both saints and sinners. The Apostle John affirmed, “We love him, because he first loved us.” 39 And Nephi, upon seeing in vision the Lord’s mortal ministry, declared: “The world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.” 40 We know the expansiveness of the Redeemer’s love because He died that all who die might live again. 41

Immortality and Eternal Life

God declared that His work and glory is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” 42 Thanks to the Atonement, the gift of immortality is unconditional. 43 The greater gift of eternal life, however, is conditional. 44 In order to qualify, one must deny oneself of ungodliness 45 and honor the ordinances and covenants of the temple. 46 The resplendent bouquet of God’s love—including eternal life—includes blessings for which we must qualify, not entitlements to be expected unworthily. Sinners cannot bend His will to theirs and require Him to bless them in sin. 47 If they desire to enjoy every bloom in His beautiful bouquet, they must repent. 48

Counsel to Repent

President Brigham Young (1801–77) declared: “Every blessing the Lord proffers to his people is on conditions. These conditions are: ‘Obey my law, keep my commandments, walk in my ordinances, observe my statutes, love mercy, … keep yourselves pure in the law, and then you are entitled to these blessings, and not until then.’ ” 49

President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918) expressed a similar thought: “This is how I look at the requirements which God has made upon his people collectively and individually, and I do believe that I have no claim upon God or upon my brethren for blessing, favor, confidence or love, unless, by my works, I prove that I am worthy thereof, and I never expect to receive blessings that I do not merit.” 50

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) said that the Lord “ ‘cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.’ (D&C 1:31.) … We will better appreciate his love … if similar abhorrence for sin impels us to transform our lives through repentance.” 51

Given the imperfections we all have, individual initiative is imperative: “He that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven;

“And he that repents not, from him shall be taken even the light which he has received; for my Spirit shall not always strive with man, saith the Lord.” 52

In climbing the pathway of repentance, both the effort and the result count. The Lord taught that spiritual gifts are given to “those who love me and keep all my commandments, and [who] seeketh so to do.” 53

Divine Love Provides Us with a Pattern

Jesus asked us to love one another as He has loved us. 54 Is that possible? Can our love for others really approach divine love? Yes it can! 55 The pure love of Christ is granted to all who seek and qualify for it. 56 Such love includes service 57 and requires obedience. 58

Compliance with divine law requires faith—the pivotal point of mortality’s testing and trials. At the same time, faith proves our love for God. 59 The more committed we become to patterning our lives after His, the purer and more divine our love becomes. 60

Perhaps no love in mortality approaches the divine more than the love parents have for their children. As parents, we have the same obligation to teach obedience that our heavenly parents felt obliged to teach us. While we can teach the need for tolerance of others’ differences, 61 we cannot tolerate their infractions of the laws of God. Our children are to be taught the doctrines of the kingdom, 62 to trust in the Lord, and to know that they receive the blessings of His love by first obeying His commandments. 63

Divine love is perfect, infinite, enduring, and universal. The full flower of divine love and our greatest blessings from that love are conditional—predicated upon our obedience to eternal law. I pray that we may qualify for those blessings and rejoice forever.

What Does Conditional Mean?

The term conditional comes from Latin roots—con, meaning “with,” and dicere, meaning “to talk.” Thus, conditional means that “bounds or conditions have been communicated verbally.”

The term unconditional means “without condition or limitation; absolute.”

1. John 3:16.

2. D&C 34:3.

3. See 2 Ne. 31:21; Alma 12:33; D&C 93:3.

4. See 1 Jn. 4:12, 15–18.

5. See Alma 34:9–12. Divine love is infinite also because all the faithful may be eventually “encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love” (Alma 26:15).

6. See Isa. 54:10; see also 3 Ne. 22:10.

7. Deut. 7:9; see also 1 Chr. 16:15; Ps. 105:8.

8. Defined as “of, relating to, extending to, or affecting the entire world or all within the world; worldwide” (The American Heritage Dictionary, 4th ed. [2000], “universal,” 1883).

9. Matt. 5:45; see also 3 Ne. 12:45.

10. See John 8:12; John 9:5.

11. See D&C 88:6–13.

12. 2 Ne. 26:33.

13. See Matt. 6:6; see also 3 Ne. 13:6; Moro. 7:48.

14. For examples, see 1 Ne. 2:20; 1 Ne. 4:14; 2 Ne. 1:9, 20; 2 Ne. 4:4; Jarom 1:9; Omni 1:6; Alma 9:13; Alma 36:1, 30; Alma 38:1; Alma 50:20; Hel. 4:15.

15. Examples are: “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God” (John 3:5; emphasis added), and “Except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory” (D&C 132:21; emphasis added). See also Ether 12:34; D&C 25:15; D&C 132:21.

16. Abr. 3:25; emphasis added; see also Mal. 3:10; 3 Ne. 24:10.

17. See Matt. 25:21, 23.

18. John 15:10; emphasis added.

19. D&C 95:12; emphasis added.

20. John 14:23; emphasis added.

21. Prov. 8:17.

22. Acts 10:34–35.

23. 1 Ne. 17:40.

24. John 14:21.

25. 1 Kgs. 3:14; emphasis added; see also Deut. 19:9.

26. 1 Kgs. 6:12; emphasis added.

27. D&C 82:10.

28. D&C 130:21.

29. D&C 88:38; see also D&C 132:5.

30. D&C 132:5–7; see also Alma 9:12; Alma 42:13, 17.

31. Mal. 3:10; emphasis added; see also 3 Ne. 24:10. The Lord did not restrict how He would bless tithe payers. Some are blessed spiritually more than they are temporally.

32. See D&C 119:4–5. Tithing is also required for one to be enrolled with the people of God (see D&C 85:3).

33. Mosiah 2:22; emphasis added. That conditional counsel is repeated many times throughout the scriptures. See 1 Ne. 2:20; 1 Ne. 4:14; 2 Ne. 1:9, 20; 2 Ne. 4:4; Jacob 2:17–19; Jarom 1:9; Omni 1:6; Mosiah 1:7; Mosiah 2:31; Alma 9:13; Alma 36:1, 30; Alma 37:13; Alma 38:1; Alma 48:15, 25; Alma 50:20; Hel. 3:20.

34. Joseph Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith (1976), 255–56; emphasis added.

35. 1 Jn. 4:8, 16.

36. Alma 1:4; emphasis added; see also Alma 1:3, 5–6; 2 Ne. 28:8–9. Such an unconditional concept (eternal life for all) would negate the need for ordinances, covenants, and temple work.

37. Alma 41:10.

38. 3 Ne. 12:20; emphasis added.

39. 1 Jn. 4:19.

40. 1 Ne. 19:9; emphasis added.

41. See Rom. 5:8; 2 Cor. 5:14–15; see also 1 Cor. 15:22.

42. Moses 1:39.

43. See Acts 24:15; 1 Cor. 15:22; Alma 12:8; D&C 76:17; Joseph Smith Translation, John 5:29.

44. See D&C 14:7.

45. See Moro. 10:32; Joseph Smith Translation, Matt. 16:26.

46. See D&C 132:19.

47. See Alma 11:37.

48. The Lord said, “Thou art not excusable in thy transgressions; … go thy way and sin no more” (D&C 24:2). See also John 8:11; D&C 6:35; D&C 29:3; D&C 82:7; D&C 97:27.

49. Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe (1954), 454.

50. Deseret News, 12 Nov. 1873, 644.

51. The Miracle of Forgiveness (1969), 59.

52. D&C 1:32–33.

53. D&C 46:9; emphasis added.

54. See John 13:34; John 15:12.

55. See Ether 12:33–34; Moro. 7:46–47.

56. See Moro. 7:48.

57. See Gal. 5:13; Mosiah 2:18–21; Mosiah 4:15.

58. John taught, “Whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected” (1 Jn. 2:5).

59. See Deut. 13:3; John 14:15; John 15:6–7.

60. See Matt. 6:19–22; D&C 88:67–68; D&C 93:11–20.

61. See A of F 1:11.

62. Doctrines include the plan of salvation, faith, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost (see Moro. 8:10; D&C 68:25; Moses 6:57–62).

63. See Mosiah 4:6–7.
^ Back to top

One of "those"

2008-09-17T14:24:00.001-07:00

I decided I should add this---to make my point more clear. This is my incredibly cute nephew. He's one of "those" described "tongue and cheek" by the dr. below. Why--cause he has an interstitial lung disease (ILD). Had nothing to do with anything....just a congenital thing that happened. But, the ILD certainly isn't cheap...

So, I guess my question out to the internet void---is, do you want to say that and ILD makes someone one of "those" people? I mean...is sacrificing for a kid with ILD not worth the sacrifice? I personally, believe he is worth it....whether it be the sacrifice of future classmates learning to wash hands always, and not come to school sick (that would involve their grown up parents too), so he can attend school and not always get sick....or cost of medical care. I believe the sacrifice is worth it!

Way to say it...

2008-09-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

So,

I've been planning a entry lately about my "random" opinionated thoughts. Not that ya'll don't read enough of my opinions as it is.

For example--I was recently told by a mother (who was all about school choice/home schooling all that joy) this (literally--these were her words):

"I will not sacrifice my children for the possible improvement of others!!!"

I was not stunned when this was stated. Rather, I was amazed that this LDS mother, who was all over about how keeping her children away from other children would mean that as a family they could better learn how to have charity??? Ya--little quirky.

But, my thought was more like "Why does this sit so wrong with me?"

I mean...fine...you want a different "choice"--fine. I've stated my opinions about such things...and I can handle it (even though so much of the "choice" is actually so limited to those who have the most advantagous lives already)--as long as no damage (including any funding losses) occurs to other's children.

But--I just was like--where did this come from? Part of the reason for my Sneetches post earlier--actually.

Anyway--so, I was talking to my mother, recalling a situation where me and my older sister used to play with a neighbor boy. This neighbor boy was kind of a leader--but also had a foul mouth, and a foul disposition often. I remember going to his house though, cause he had like every toy on the planet any child would ever want. But, I also remember at his house the obvious signs of parental addiction (to legal substances), and an obvious lack of ANY positive interaction or attention given to this young man.

Now, my mother mentioned how she did set up rules with this young man when he was in our house or yard--about his language and behavior. But, she was always very open to us playing with him. In fact...she was always quite open with us playing with most anyone.

So, I asked her--how was it that as a mother she could be so open to "sacrificing" her children like that? I mean--cause since growing up I've ran into the minority parent who is the exact opposite (which seems COMPLETELY contradictory to how Christ would want us to act...but that's for another post). And this is what she said:

"Well, I thought that the boy needed someone to play with to".

She discussed how this was how she felt about school too. That yes, an education is important because it's an education...but that she felt that all the other students (the majority) who attended public school could perhaps learn from her child...and visa versa.

Wow...I quote my mother far too much...but it struck me when she said this--that it was where my "sitting so wrong with me" feeling came from. Because...seriously...think of how different the world would be if mothers years ago had refused to "sacrifice their child for the possible improvement of others"? I mean, think about Lucy Mack Smith? Hannah in the Bible? Elisabeth? What about Sariah? Or Moroni's mother (the last one)? Or the 2000 stripling warriors. Or, how about Mary. I mean, did not her sacred son tell her that He was "about His Father's business" when he was so young, in the temple?

And, seriously, is it REALLY that big of a sacrifice to allow your child's life to possible improve others, and visa versa.

Anyway...what is the point to my opinions? Well--I'm copying an entry from an AWESOME blog that I follow (I mean it's AWESOME!!!) by an LDS Dr. And, I seriously think that he found the right way to "say it" ---to state my thoughts. So, here you go!

"Those People

September 17, 2008 in Medicine, Spirituality | Tags: charity, chronic illness, compassion, diabetes, Disability, ethics, health care, health insurance, love, medical ethics, money, politics, prejudice, pride, responsibility, stereotypes, taxes |

As the presidential debates get revved up, I have been scrutinizing their health care plans. Both candidates rightly insist that something must be done to cover the ballooning and exploding population of uninsured in this country. For both, the solution will likely include a hit to the pocketbook of Joe Public, whether through taxes, or through private insurance companies that we are required to purchase coverage from. This has the standard libertarian masses quite upset. One thing I am hearing more and more about in the argument against universal Health care coverage is “those people.”

Those people are the ones who sit at home and play video games on unemployment. Those people are the ones who are on crack and meth, spending money on it instead of diapers or health insurance. Those people are the ones who don’t exercise any responsibility for their own health and a fat, lazy, smokers all. Those people are a drain on our economy and a blight on our society.

I have absolutely no question that taking responsibility for our own health is vitally important and is dying. I do understand some of the worry about entitlement mentality. I have on occasion seen some of “those people” in clinic who may be suffering the consequences of their choices and actions.

Here is the problem. They are generally not my patients, they are the parents. Often they are the absent parent, you know the stereotypic “deadbeat dads” we all rightly condemn. You see, single mothers have a very difficult time getting jobs with health insurance. Especially as businesses are hurting as they try to pay for it, cutting more and more benefits.

Here is another problem, epilepsy. It turns out that anybody can have seizures. They may strike at any point in someone’s life and are particularly common in childhood. They commit you to at least two years of drug therapy. They raise insurance prices for us all. For people who are angry at rising health care and insurance costs, I fear too many will become those people. Too many will be thought to have seizures from drugs because they don’t have insurance. So what if premiums are five times what someone in good health’s might be. It’s okay because they are “those people.”

Insurance companies have motive to charge or exclude the smokers and the obese. It turns out they have the same motive to exclude those with Cerebral Palsy and Multiple Sclerosis. This motive applies to any family with cystic fibrosis or sickle cell disease, or an entire host of genetic disorders. They really need to get rid of those with type I diabetes and as we start to push against type II diabetes as caused by obesity and not taking care of yourself, Diabetes is diabetes, right?

Wrong, they are completely different diseases, the former with no lifestyle factors, hitting people almost at random and committing them to a lifetime of expensive insulin and increasing risk for severe health problems as they age, the latter with lifestyle factors that have become alarmingly commonplace, even normal.

“Those people” can be stretched to cover a variety of lifestyle choices. “Those people” could include Sarah Palin and the like, for refusing to abort babies with down syndrome. “Those people” could in the future include any parent who does not abort for any bad gene whatsoever. Certainly, It must cost less to genetically engineer healthy children than care for “those babies.” Eventually, “those people” could be anyone that is not part of the master race with the right hair, eye and skin color. After all, we all know “those people” are no good.

“Those people” will quickly become anyone over a certain age in the ICU who does not make themselves DNR, regardless of their comorbidities. After all, it will be much cheaper for us all if we could just let the elderly die in peace. They may have compelling reasons to fight on for life, but they’re costing the rest of us money and that is unforgivable. They don’t recover as well from surgery so they should just live with their gall stones and welcome a burst appendix as their release from the cares of this world.

“Those people” could become those with Major Depression because we all “know” that making the wrong choices is what makes us depressed. Mental Illness is “in your head,” after all. We who live right could never have such misfortune. Post traumatic stress only happens to gangbangers. In fact, schizophrenia and autism must be bad parenting too, come to think of it. That could save a whole lot of money and taxes if only it were true.

In fact, we would probably be much better off if we just got rid of medical care entirely. Let nature kill off the weak the way it was intended in the first place. We aren’t letting evolution work the way it is supposed too anymore. Then we really will have a master race consisting only of the beautiful people, not “those people” who are just no good, inferior choices, inferior genes, inferior minds, just plain inferior.

I hope I have exaggerated my point tongue in cheek enough to make it clear. I don’t think blaming people for poor health will lead to anything good. The financial incentive is there to demonize a whole bunch of people simply because they need help. That is not a society that I want any part of. Personally, I will gladly pay more taxes if it helps the weakest among us. I don’t know if the private insurance thing will ever fly because there is just too much market incentive to cherry pick the healthy groups and leave out the unhealthy. If we blame the patients, it will then become all too easy.

But that is the subject of a different post. This post is about bigotry, hate, pride, and what lengths man will go to in order to feel okay about not helping the poor. We have the potential to become true monsters. If it’s all the same, I am going to do everything within my power to avoid becoming one of “these people.” It pays to remember that there but for the grace of God, go we, in the case of both the chronically ill and the chronically prejudiced. I firmly believe that there are no ”those people” only people, only children of God."

"Stars upon Thars..."

2008-09-04T23:29:00.001-07:00

When I was a little girl, one of my grandmothers always read us books whenever we slept over at her house, before we went to bed. I have fond memories of her reading the book "The Sneetches" by Dr. Suess. It is my favorite Dr. Suess book (if you can have a favorite, and Horton is up there too) of any of them. Let me explain why.

Basically---because I know what it feels like to be the Sneetch who does not have a "star upon thars". I'm very proud of my history, and where I grew up. I grew up in a HUD neighborhood, with a huge amount of diversity (at least for UT). I always attended hugely overcrowded schools (my 6th grade class had 46 kids in it--36 on track at one time). And, I grew up on the "west" side. I admit, as an adult, I harbor a bias toward such things. I have a hard time living in a place without "mixed" housing". I have a hard time seeing schools that don't integrate. I have an even harder time seeing LDS wards and such that do not support and/or promote the diversity of people who live within their boundaries.

In fact, I have found that this is one of the reasons that I am currently far more comfortable living outside of Utah....where it is okay to be different from the status quo---and you're still accepted. Where people seem to be far less likely to pass judgement and form assumptions about who you are, and where you are at in life.

I now, present the story "The Sneetches" to you though, for a different reason. To explain why I am not for "school choice" as some promote it.

Over the years, I have explored many different types of educational options that the country we live in has. I do not have children of my own currently, but I explored them because I was/am INCREDIBLY interested in the welfare of children, their development, and education. Thus, I became a teacher.

At one point, I too jumped onto what should be called the "Fix-it-Up Chappie" of Sylvester McMonkey McBean---into the notions of creating a capitalistic educational "machine"--where options were the answer to the educational problems in the nation. From Charters to private tax funding, to homeschooling. I've studied and looked into each one.

And then--I started teaching. I started seeing from the inside the problems in "our nations schools". I saw the results of this "Fix-it-Up Chappie" on the majority of our nations children. And, I began to see the ultimate and true problem that we as a nation truly have.

That some have "stars upon thars" and others do not.

Now, some would say....we have a right to our stars (just as the Sneetches did). I do not disagree with this. Nor, do I agree with making those who "have stars" feel guilty for the stars they have....

But....

I certainly also do not agree with the idea that it is alright for those with "stars"---those with so many if not all of the advantages children can be born with on this earth, negatively impacting the education and future of those without the stars.

See, when I hear the arguments--and there are many---for "choice in education"---what I mainly hear from parents, political leaders, and so forth, is a laundry list of reasons, justifications, and excuses for "why our children deserve the best".....and my question always is "Why?" Why do your children deserve the best, while the MAJORITY of the children in the nation do not. I hear lies, such that providing educational choice will improve ALL Children's education. HOW? I ask? HOW when parents who can barely afford shoes and clothes have to afford to transport their children across town to a supposed "better" school "choice".

Plus, I also question this notion that somehow, because the US public school system is not perfect, that it is failing. Certainly, our school system may not SEEM to match up with the school system of other countries, but whoever decides these ratings NEVER seem to take into account that the MAJORITY of those other countries severely track all students into "college bound" or "working" tracks (and really only provide us the testing of the college bound students), discriminate against other ethnic minority groups (not letting them into schools, or including them in their testing), and certainly discriminate against their students with disabilities. In fact, I have YET to meet a student at the current school I'm at, who is from another country who has not been IMPRESSED with US public schools, because for as imperfect as they are--for as much as they still involve some level of "tracking"--they STILL OFFER A HUGE AMOUNT OF PERSONAL AUTONOMY AND CHOICE TO STUDENTS. Choice that these students from other countries NEVER experienced in their school situations until THEY CAME HERE!

So--does this mean I am fully against choice-making about schools? Certainly not. In TRUE reality, there has ALWAYS been school choice in the US. But, it's all in how we approach it that makes the difference. Here's an example.

I have a dear friend who has chosen to place her 2 kids in a private school situation. She is a former public school teacher, and is pro-public education. She did not enter into the decision of placing her children in this school lightly. She actually had many qualms about it.

So, she and her husband did their research. They learned about the public and private schools in their area. They went on tours. They read and asked numerous questions, including about the ethnic make-up of both schools, as related to their community, and whether children with significant disabilities could attend both schools.

So--I asked her once why she chose what she chose. And, I was most impressed with her answer.

See--instead of giving me a laundry list of reasons why the public schools were "so bad", she said this "Well, we decided that this was what we WANTED to do for our kids." I stood there in amazement. Why, you ask....

Well, cause I usually get the laundry list with absolute defensive answers such as "Well, this is what is BEST for my children...and my children deserve the best....and it's everyone else's fault...and bla bla bla...."

What I was MOST impressed with about what she said was that she fully and upfront ADMITTED THAT HAVING HER KIDS IN A PRIVATE SCHOOL WAS A WANT! It was a desire...it was not a necessity, nor a need. IT WAS A WANT!

She described to me how they came to their decision, and how she could easily place her kids back into public school. She described how the private school that they chose (religiously based) TESTED ALL OF THEIR STUDENTS with the exact same state tests the public schools WERE REQUIRED TO USE--and published all their scores. The school didn't do this because they had to---but because they wanted to. They didn't do it to prove they were better than another school...but because they wanted an "equal playing field" with the other schools. The private school also made sure that the community's make-up was as fully represented as possible, and that students with significant disabilities were fully included and integrated into their school. And, this school did so AT THEIR OWN EXPENSE!

She also proceeded to tell me, that as a public school teacher, knowing what she knew about how schools were funded (no, not all public school funding comes from WPU), she also does not support taking public funds, including her own taxes (such as through a tax break), in order to educate her own children. She did not want to TAKE away from anyone else's education, in order to fund her children's. It has meant that they have sacrificed, but they decided that this was a WANT that they as a family were willing to sacrifice for. But, she realized that, in fact, her children's futures would be JUST as impacted by the education OTHER people's children received, as the education THEY received.

Why is this important? Well, because what she realized was that 1. She had a choice; and that 2. That there are others, in fact MANY OTHERS, in fact even a majority of student's families out there who are not limited in their choice of school because of a lack of "school choice", but because of a lack of economy...and that a small tax break for those who could afford a private school, would not make up any where near the difference--nor provide such a choice for so many other children.

Or, in other words....those Sneetches may be trying to get "Stars on thars"--but no Fix-it-up Chappie, no matter how much money they tried to scrape up, would "level the playing field" compared to the other Sneetches with stars.

So--my point: Well, let's look at those Sneetches....what do they learn in the end? Do they learn that what is better is to "segregate" into "schools" where some have stars, and others do not? Nope. They learn that stars shouldn't matter.

But, my argument is, if it shouldn't matter....then why do some deserve "the best"...while the majority of others don't? See, I see how taking more and more money from supposed "failing" schools, to fund supposed "better placements" or "school choice" only desecrates education for the "many" for the education of those who already have "the best" (or the few). School choice, as it is proported now, does not truly provide school choice for the Many (as they like to claim)....it only provides breaks for the few. And I, take issue with that.

Because ultimately, we all will be paying for "the many's" education---even if that education occurs in a jail cell, or on the welfare rolls, instead of in schools. I am appalled at how little attention is truly paid to the economics of it all...when in reality most of those politicizing and promoting such ideals have no idea what it is like to "not have stars upon thars"!

My point of this political babble, is that we should be focused on truly making our community schools better, not punishing them. That an equal playing field should be promoted....and that ANY school...and I mean ANY school...that receives public funds should have to live up to and MEET every expectation that PUBLIC schools have to. From integrating students with significant disabilities, to accountability and testing, to fee waivers, to truly representing the ethnic make-up of the neighborhood. That is how the playing field could be somewhat equalized, in my opinion.

And, my other point, is this: am I completely against the notion of school choice. No. I believe that school choice is already built into the system. BUT...what I firmly believe is that parental school choice needs to be viewed by parents as something they WANT. It is not a need. Schools and education are provided publicly....as imperfect as they may be....to EVERY child....EVERY CHILD in this nation. VERY FEW nations in this world can claim that! VERY FEW! So, laundry list aside, ANYONE'S child can be provided an education in this country, when MANY children are not even provided that CHOICE elsewhere. As such, choosing to educate a child in a private school, charter school, or at home is a choice. And, such a choice SHOULD NOT diminish from anyone else's education. The only way to not diminish other's education is to not take funding from others, and to create an equal playing field where the same advantages and diversity are provided for anyone receiving of those public funds.

So...I'm sure my grandmother never thought as she read me "The Sneetches" that I would utilize it to metaphor such a subject. But, I guess what we can learn from those "Stars on Thars Sneetches" is just "That the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day, The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches, And NO kind of Sneetch is the BEST on the BEACHES. That day, all the Sneetches forgot about the stars, And whether they had one, or not, upon thars."

Or, to quote One who knows even more than those Sneetches:

"That you may be equal in the bonds of heavenly things, yea, and earthly things also, for the obtaining of heavenly things. For if ye are not equal in earthly things ye cannot be equal in obtaining heavenly things;" D&C 78:5-6

P.S.

2008-08-21T15:13:00.001-07:00

P.S. For those of my friends who read this site regularly...thanks (and thanks for the link). I also have a "whine and cheese" blog that is updated more regularly. If you did not know this, click on the line "my complete profile" and go to the "to be great is to be misunderstood" site.

Check out this website for more info. on why to NOT use the "R" word:

2008-08-21T15:11:00.001-07:00

http://www.selfadvocacy.com/offensetaken/

Far Beyond the need for a Soapbox!!!

2008-08-12T18:24:00.001-07:00

I am still on vacation....but this goes far beyond the need for a post:

I went to a state (Birmingham was a BUST---so you figure out which one)...which I immensely wanted to get out of. Just didn't have fun....sorry to those whom may like that state.

Anyway...as I was speeding my way west, I came upon a very large, green road sign that said (and looked) like this:

(ENTER STATE NAME)
CENTER
FOR
MENTAL
RETARDATION

Now, before anyone thinks this isn't that big of a deal, imagine this sign, in bold green and white lettering, huge, right on the side of the road---most definitely emphasizing the "R" word.

Now...read this:

Tim Shriver’s Op Ed on the soon to be released movie “Tropic Thunder.”

What 'Tropic Thunder' Thinks Is Funny

By Timothy Shriver
Monday, August 11, 2008; A15

I've been told to keep my sense of humor about the film "Tropic Thunder," which opens this week. Despite my requests, I have not been given the chance to see the movie. But I've seen previews, read about it and read excerpts of the script. By all accounts, it is an unchecked assault on the humanity of people with intellectual disabilities -- an affront to dignity, hope and respect.

Consider this exchange:

Ben Stiller's character: "There were times when I was doing Jack when I actually felt retarded. Like really retarded."

Robert Downey Jr.'s character: "Oh yeah. Damn."

Stiller: "In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb."

Downey: "To be a moron."

Stiller: "Yeah."

At another point, about acting like a person with intellectual disabilities, they say:

Stiller: "It's what we do, right?"

Downey: "Everybody knows you never do a full retard."

Stiller: "What do you mean?"

Downey: "Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard."

I worked with the Farrelly brothers on a film on this topic. I know about edgy comedy. I'm also told that movies are equal-opportunity offenders.

So here's an equal-opportunity response to the equal-opportunity offenders:

People with intellectual disabilities are routinely abused, neglected, insulted, institutionalized and even killed around the world. Their parents are told to give up, that their children are worthless. Schools turn them away. Doctors refuse to treat them. Employers won't hire them. None of this is funny.

For centuries, they have been the exception to the most basic spiritual principle: that we are each equal in spirit, capable of reflecting the goodness of the divine, carriers of love. But not people with intellectual disabilities. What's a word commonly applied to them? Hopeless.

Let's consider where we are in 2008. Our politics are about overcoming division, our social movements are about ending intolerance, our great philanthropists promote ending poverty and disease among the world's poor. Are people with intellectual disabilities included in the mainstream of these movements? For the most part, no.

Why? Because they're different. Their joy doesn't fit on magazine covers. Their spirituality doesn't come in self-help television. Their kind of wealth doesn't command political attention. (The best of the spirit never does.)

Sadly, they're such an easy target that many people don't realize whom they are making fun of when they use the word "retard." Most people just think it's funny. "Stupid, idiot, moron, retard." Ha, ha, ha.

I know: I could be too sensitive. But I was taught that mean isn't funny. And I've been to institutions where people with intellectual disabilities are tied to beds or lie on concrete floors, forgotten. I've heard doctors say they won't treat them. I know Gallup found that more than 60 percent of Americans don't want a person with an intellectual disability at their child's school.

I've talked to people with intellectual disabilities who cry over being insulted on a bus. I've received too many e-mails from people who are devastated not by their child's disability but by the terror of being laughed at, excluded and economically devastated.

It wasn't funny when Hollywood humiliated African Americans for a generation. It's never funny when good and decent human beings are humiliated. In fact, it is dangerous and disgusting.

This film is all that and more. DreamWorks went so far as to create a mini-version of Simple Jack and posted it online. The studio has since pulled it down, realizing it had gone too far, even in an age of edgy, R-rated comedies.

So, enough. Stop the hurtful jokes. Talk to your children about language that is bullying and mean. Ask your friends, your educators, your religious leaders to help us to end the stubborn myth that people with intellectual disabilities are hopeless. Ask Hollywood to get on the right side of dignity.

I hope others will join me in shutting this movie out of our lives and our pocketbooks. We don't live in times when labeling and humiliating others is funny. And we should send that message far and wide.

The writer is chairman of Special Olympics and a columnist for washingtonpost.com's On Faith discussion site.

Now think of this: What year is it? Really, what year is it? IT IS 2008!!!! NOT 1968, not 1958, not 1888, but 2008.

While on my adventure of southern states, I saw a sign that was for "sale"--or in other words, the owners were trying to get rid of it. Personally, I thought it should be burned. But, this sign, in essence, said that only people of a certain color were allowed into an establishment. When I saw this sign it was all I could do to not go spit on it and break it into bits. Granted, it was no longer being used for anything than "selling it to a museum" to display as a negative reminder of "what used to be" (although, honestly, it's not like we've completely overcome this problem either).

But, my question is, what right do we have to continually put down a specific type of person, just because one number that measures "normallness" for them is not as "high" as it is for someone else. I mean, honestly, I would prefer to spend hours a day with whole rooms full of people with intellectual disabilities, then spend even a few minutes with quite a few people who consider themselves "intelligent". Believe me, the hours would be MUCH more enjoyable for me, because we'll be able to have fun together, and learn from each other, rather than deal with someone else's stuck up ego!

So, to see that blatant sign of continued disrespect and stigmatization in a state I was already unimpressed with...well, it will be a long time before I go back. That's all I can say!!!

END THE STIGMATIZATION NOW!!!!

There is No Normal!!!!

2008-07-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

I saw this movie about 8 or so years ago on TV. I fell in love with it! I couldn't find the best part (where Angus proves that there is no normal)---but this part sends basically the same message, if not in a better way! I love it because it says exactly what I have said for at least a decade if not longer: There is No Normal!!!!

Most of human kind has spent years, decades, even centuries studying and trying to determine what is "normal". In reality, we area all different, and yet earily (sp?) the same. But, what is really true is that every life is different. Trying to suppose that there is only "one way" to be, is well, wrong. We have agency for a reason. Certainly, we have to face the consequences for that agency (which people usually don't like, cause those consequences effect ourselves and others), but truly, when I go home and when you go home, what is normal for each of us is not what is "normal" for the other.

I believe this so strongly that I try hard to never use the word "normal". I still catch myself from time to time, but work really hard to try to use other vocabulary. Because, truly, as we josh about when in groups of PhD students in my program (and professors), we ultimately are all on the "Bell curve" somewhere....and we ultimately can all be described on the "Autism Spectrum" somewhere too, if you really think about how broadly that spectrum describes symptoms!

Why do I believe this so strongly, because I have known my whole life (literally, I do not remember a time when I did not know this), that we were all sent here to work out our Salvation and Exaltation individually, with our Heavenly Father. We were all sent here to try to make ourselves what the Lord knows we can be, and in essence, reach our infinite potential--or, in reality, progress toward it (as it cannot fully be obtained just here.) This is true whether we came to this earth, as Angus said, with pimples, moles, dimples, short, tall, fat, skinny, with ears that stick out, with cerebral palsy, Down Syndrome, Autism, health problems, mental illness, or any other of the myriad of disabilities and abilities that we all have.

I love how people describe disability (or differently abled) as an equal opportunity form of diversity. Truly, very few people will make it through this life without disability touching their lives in one way or another. And yet, it continues to be the one reality in life that people are the most afraid of, scared to have to deal with, and unwilling to face. I don't say this to judge, but because this situation has always been one I have viewed quite differently--that I have viewed as a reality, rather than something to run and escape from. As something to embrace, rather than deny. By doing so, I have learned that the more I embrace those around me who bless my life with such diversity, the happier my life can be. In fact, when I taught full time it was never my students who had disabilities who stressed me out the most--even when they displayed behaviors that were frustrating. It was the biases, prejudice, stigma, and mistreatment from other supposedly "normal" people that most affected me.

I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed me to see beyond the fear so many others get so caught up in (Timothy 10:2...who gives us this fear---who persuades us that we should be afraid of---who convinces us that we need to be afraid of things he defines as "not normal"????). So, thank you Angus for saying so well what I have known my whole life! I am happy with being myself, thank you very much!

Re-runs are Beautiful!!!

2008-07-13T17:21:00.001-07:00

I have to admit, I quite like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. What a great way to promote helping others, instead of what can usually be seen on Television.

Well--I saw this episode the first time it aired--at least most of it....but I just have to say again:

I LOVE Patrick Henry Hughes!!! That guy, and his family, are just incredible! I love his saying:

"So God made me blind and unable to walk. So what?!! He gave me so much more to be grateful for." I LOVE how he sees being blind as an ability.....just LOVE him!

So, here's a link to the website for him and his family! http://www.patrickhenryhughes.com/index.html

More information....

2008-07-07T15:06:00.001-07:00

Because of a question asked, I did a little research. Emphasize little (as I have a lot to do today) about "public" charter schools in a state I taught in for 7 years. I was asked "What questions would you ask, if you ever looked into a charter school?"

Well, after my 7 years teaching, here's what I would ask at ANY school, if I were to have a child go there:

1. What is your percentage of students from minority populations?

Granted, this would depend upon the state and community, but, there are very few communities in this day and age that do not have some representation of people from different ethnic/religious backgrounds. I would be looking for at least a percentage representative of the percentage within my community at that school. If such a percentage was not occurring, I would want to know why. If they had no answers, I would easily assume that the supposed "non-discriminatory" policies were not quite as "non-discriminatory" as the school claimed.

I did a little test of my own. I almost randomly chose 5 schools within a state I used to teach in (charters). Of the 5 I chose, only 2 listed any policy about minority acceptance/non-discriminatory acceptance into the schools. Only 2 of the 5 mentioned anything about English as Second Language Learners. Granted, I only searched as far as their school websites would let me, but I found this not impressive.

2. I would ask if all the teachers were truly certified, I would ask to see proof of the teacher's certification, and most importantly, I would want to see the special education teacher(s) proof of certification. If the school only had one special education teacher, I would what to know why. If the special education teacher was only certified to teach students with mild/moderate disabilities, I would quickly be clued in that the school is VERY unlikely to accept students with more significant disabilities into their schools. As I want all of my children to attend schools with students of all level of abilities, this would make me not want my children to attend those schools.

Of the 5 I reviewed: 0/5 listed actual certification levels for all of their teachers. 0/5 listed what areas their special education teachers were certified in. 1 listed that they only offered "resource" services (which is mild/moderate). 2 stated that all of their teachers were currently certified, but offered no proof of this on the website. And, to be honest, after teaching in this state for 7 years, I doubt that there is ANY public or private school in the state that can claim that ALL of their teachers are always fully certified. There are just way more children in the state than certified teachers willing to work there.

3. I would want to find out fully about their "non-discriminatory" acceptance policy, and lottery policy. I know this may be controversial, but if the school offers priority to siblings, I would have a hard time with the concept that their acceptance policy does not involve bias. I know this frustrates many parents, but I know of situations where accepting siblings as priority is used as a way to discriminate against kids with disabilities. My question would be "if my child has a sibling with a significant disability, will they be as easily accepted into this school as my child without one?" Some may say, this would not be needed in their family--but you never know.

So, what of my little experiment. Well, I found some really interesting information this way:

a. All of the schools listed that they used blind lotteries, but that siblings were given priority in the lotteries (then how are they blind?)

b. Only one of the 5 schools listed a straight forward discipline policy on-line (that I could easily locate). In this discipline policy, there was no due process statement for families dealing with possible unfair discipline practices. Red flag went up there for me.

c. At least 3 of the 5 schools listed that they did not provide transportation. This means that I would question the likelihood of a child with a disability, who may need transportation, being accepted into this school. Thus, it is discriminatory, as IDEA 2004 (the special education law these charters are supposed to uphold) requires that door to door transportation has to be provided to children who need it, attending publicly funded schools. So, if a child needed just such transportation, are they as likely to be accepted into a charter school?

d. 1 of the 5 schools not only asked the normal application questions, but asked for the children's social security numbers on their application. They did state it as "optional"--but even this would make me VERY wary of their actual acceptance practices, as it is illegal (FERPA) to ask for their SS#. This same school asked for a copy of the student's latest report card,current IEP, home language use, and for all programs that they had been involved in at a previous school to be divulged, as well as any and all disciplinary action. Now, yes, I can see how all of this information could be useful, but most of it, in my opinion, should be asked AFTER the student has been accepted into the school, not beforehand (when they're just entering the lottery).

e. I would ask to know the percentage of children with disabilities in their school, and what percentage of disability types the school is currently working with. Why would I want to know this? Because if the school does not have even 1 student with a more significant disability being served there, they likely have discriminatory acceptance policies and practices (written or unwritten). Now, they may claim that it would break "privacy"--they don't have to tell you each "label"--just the numbers. If there are no kids with more significant disabilities--this would tip me off to whether they really are dedicated to teaching all children, no matter their ability levels (which I believe at least 4/5 schools claimed).

Of the 5 schools I reviewed, only 1 stated the exact # of students with disabilities they served. 1 was obviously focused on "gifted" (which doesn't mean they didn't have kids with disabilities, as many children with disabilities are "gifted" as well), but they made no statement of numbers. 1 listed only resource services as being offered (only mild/moderate), and 1 even required a basic math/reading test/assessment be given BEFORE the child's name could be put in the lottery (although they quickly stated that assessment results would not be considered when deciding whether to accept a child or not---my question in response is, then WHY do the students have to take the assessment, before they are even accepted into the school?)

4. This would be a HUGE question for me. Yes, even bigger than those about children with disabilities. I would want to know what the average socio-economic level of accepted student's families are in the school. I would want to know the percentage of children receiving free lunch (or reduced). I would want to know if the school expected and/or required donations from parents. I would want to know if the school required parent volunteering.

Why, you may ask? Well, because I grew up in a family that could have qualified for free/reduced school lunch. I grew up in a neighborhood where at times approx. 80% of the kids in the neighborhood probably could have qualified if their parents had applied. I grew up on a street where not everyone ever all spoke English, were the same ethnic nor religious background. The older I get, the more grateful I am about this. I also grew up in a neighborhood where many moms worked, where one parent households were not odd, and where many in the neighborhood lived below, close to, or on the poverty line. I am proud of this heritage--especially because by experiencing it, I know what it feels like to be blindly (and sometimes constantly)discriminated against by people who just don't recognize that what they're doing is discriminatory. Policies that require (for example) children to bring their own lunches, discriminate against families where food is a luxury item. Policies that require parent participation discriminate against families working 2-3 jobs just to make ends meet. And, I don't think I should even have to go into the required donation area! In other words:

These policies reinforce the exact point I've tried to make about "choice" schools for years. If they are provided public funds, then they should HAVE to provide what public schools HAVE to provide. Anything less is discriminatory, and basically makes it difficult to nearly impossible for a large amount of families in these states and the nation (in fact, likely the majority of families) to afford charter schools. If their "policies" are non-discriminatory, then they should have to provide free and reduced lunch programs, free transportation, a FREE and appropriate public education for ALL students, and so forth. And, to top off this argument---if such charter schools are NOT doing so--then they should NOT be allowed to claim that they are making AYP (adequate yearly progress), because in my opinionated opinion, it is completely unfair to compare test scores from a public school where all of these services are offered, to a "charter" school where they're not. Providing such services means that a charter school is truly as diverse as the local public schools, which means that their test scores can actually be compared fairly. Anything less creates not only a statistical nightmare, but an absolute bias toward the less diverse school.

Of the 5 schools I reviewed: 0/5 offered free/reduced lunches, 1 asked for not a household income range (as per what is legal via FERPA), but an actual statement of household income REQUIRED to attend the school, and donations REQUIRED (basically--with a quick little blurb about how they weren't required but volunteered--but it all appeared quite fishy to me). At least 1 other asked for parent donations as well. At least 4/5 asked for parent volunteers. 3/4 required it, with only one stating that parents were "required" to volunteer, if they were able to do so (huh???), but the child's acceptance would not be based on whether the parent could not volunteer. You confused? I was too.

So, those are the 5 basic questions I would ask of any school. If they didn't answer, I'd go as far as I could. The only benefit I can see, is that with years of experience teaching, I have seen the "ins and outs" of the system, so it's not quite as blind to me as it would be to other parents. I recognize this--and that it is difficult for many parents to have the energy or time to "fight the system". But, I guess my overall point is, learning the ins and outs of the system, even if "fighting" it may occur at times, may benefit more than just one child. While placement in another school may benefit only one. Some may have the luxury to only worry about the benefit of their own child (at least for right now), but I do not have that luxury. No, instead I am reminded of 3 Nephi 22:1 which states "for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord". So, as much as my opinion may differ from many out there, I guess my life effort is to be the voice for the many whom don't have the same luxuries as only a few children have.

Sorry ya'll...

2008-07-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

I recently had a friend who had to delete a blog entry of her own because other people decided to hold a debate within the comments of her blogs. I found that sad---because it was her blog, and thus, it should be her place to voice her opinion, whether others agree or not. So, as much as I respect everyone else's opinions about some of my posts, I will be moderating some of my more opinionated blog entries, so they won't accept comments. Not because I don't respect everyone else's opinion, but because such opinions may be better voiced within one's own blog, or in a public editorial comment situation (i.e. a newspaper editorial, etc.). I know this means that you get to read my opinion, and not voice your opinion about my opinion, but as it is a person's choice whether ya'll read my blog or not...and it is a personal blog, I reserve the right to voice my own opinion on my blog (just as ya'll can with yours). So, sorry about that...but it's what I feel will work best for all involved.

Public Schools

2008-07-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking about this blog for a while. I started a couple months ago to post about illusions about public schools--but have realized in recent months, that what is really going on are illusions about "school choice". Let me explain.

I recently talked to a student, who did not grow up in the U.S. She grew up in the "European" system, of basically testing students to the Nth degree--and forcing most students into specific "tracks" of study by the time they're in middle school. Then, it is basically, or nearly impossible, for students to get out of those tracks after they're placed there. I have heard from students in Asian countries that have school systems with even less "choice" built into their systems, and testing up the wazoo!

The most amazing thing to me, is what this girl said. I talked to her about how, yes, our secondary schools still have some "forms" of tracking, that in some geographic areas it is worse than others. In some states, these "tracks" put kids in "gifted" tracks, and so forth. But, no, our public school system is NOTHING compared to those systems. And, she expressed to me how grateful she is, after being raised in that system--to LIVE HERE---where people have FREEDOM in EDUCATION--even though it's not perfect.

You know--I have to say, I am disgusted by the recent and constant attacks on public schools in the United States. I am appalled by the supposed "right wing" push to create "private" public schools, and upset by the "left wing" acceptance and greediness of it all (or, was that the right wing? It gets so confusing). I claim to be politically moderate in many things, and I believe that moderation is even important in education. Believe me. I am now attending the "#1" program in my area of study in the Nation--and, well, even it leaves much to be desired. Not because I don't have WONDERFUL opportunities, but because it's almost so far away from reality here, that it's too far.

I have offended many a person, as I don't support many supposedly "great" programs in our public schools. I don't support gifted programs (and no, don't voice your opinion on my blog about them in my comments, cause you won't persuade me otherwise). I had the absolute BLESSING of being supposedly "gifted", but not "gifted" enough to gain such a high opinion of myself that I felt I was so much "smarter" than everyone else, that I shouldn't have to interact and be friends with those who supposedly weren't as "smart" as me! I ran into a girl from high school once, who told me how she looked up to me cause I was so popular. I looked at her with this look like "what planet did you go to high school on? I was never "popular"". Then she told me what she meant--she said that I had friends in so many of the different groups in high school. I never just stuck in "one" group. I've realized--that no, I didn't have friends in all of the different groups, but no, I never just "stuck" with one group. There were many different reasons for this. But mainly, it was because I was never "stuck" in just one track. I was not brilliant by any means in some subjects--so I took classes in many different "tracks"--I was never just stuck in one. Which meant I had the great opportunity to get to know a large variety of my fellow students--I was NEVER just stuck with one group! I feel blessed for this.

So, now to quote Dumbledore--there is a difference between what is "right", and what is "easy". My question, is this: Are those whom see themselves and their children as so much better, so much more privileged, creating this "track" system of "choice" schools, and "public" schools because it is right, or because it is easy? For decades now, we have left our public schools to rot, while creating supposedly better "charter" schools, or passing laws to privately fund public education (which I am extremely opposed to)! My question is, is this because it's right, or because it's easier?

Is it easier to attend schools (private or charter, or any) that basically are allowed to have rules that discriminate against those who are different? Is it easier to have schools where students with disabilities are separated out of them, just so you're supposed "gifted" child doesn't have to learn to interact with those some what different from them? Is it easier instead of working as communities to solve the problems your community schools have, and fight with the bureacracies (I HATE spelling that word!) we're dealing with, to just start new schools? What happens than, to those less privileged in the community, than you? It seems to me, that what is really happening to the public school system in the U.S. has NOTHING TO DO WITH "RIGHT"--AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH "EASY". It is much easier to forget about your neighbor's children, and only do what is best for yours. People justify their choices to me because it's "best" for their kids. Really? Well, what happens in 20-30 years, when THOSE same children have NO idea how to be friends with and respect those different than them, because they only ever attended segregated schools designed only for the "best and brightest"? You know, segregation now seems to be changing from just what was "easy" to spot (ethnicity, disability, religion), to what is harder to spot (S-economic level, supposed intelligence, etc.) I mean, let me remind you of this--that a certain fascist leader whose name I won't repeat on my blog, initially began his monstrous genocide by making it popular to segregate those whom were different into different schools, with the excuse of "greater intelligence"!!!!

I am INCREDIBLY grateful for my public school experiences. Were they all great? Heck no! But, what I learned from them was that this life was NOT MEANT TO BE EASY, AND THAT BLESSINGS CAN EVEN COME FROM THOSE TEACHERS THAT AREN'T THE "BEST"! My point is, we're already starting to see the effects on our communities and country when "easy" or even "best" is made to be MORE important than what is "right". I mean, Brown vs. the Board of Ed. did not happen so we could maintain the supposed "higher level" of "segregation" that occurs now a days, with the justification of "well, it's the better school". I never went to the "best" schools--and I survived. Not only that, but I thrived. I learned through public school that learning has far more to do with my choices, than choice of school does with learning. So, I guess the point of this post is, perhaps we need to look a little more closely at WHAT MADE US WHO WE ARE TODAY!!! Was it a public school, and public school teachers? Perhaps we should honor that heritage, instead of throw it out in the garbage. Perhaps we should do more to strengthen our current public schools, including learning about why schools were even created in the U.S. in the first place (read Dewey--John Dewey from the U of Chicago-it's quite enlightening--to spread democracy, what a concept!), and realize that if all we ever think about is what is "best" for "our" child--well, our "neighbor's" child (mmm, remember that scripture --that, what is done to the LEAST of these, my bretheren, one, said, I believe, by Christ Himself) is just as important. And, that we should remember this as we make decisions about our children's schooling, and public schooling in general. I personally, have far more respect for those parents represented by "Brown" in the 1965 lawsuit--who were willing to put "their own" on the line for the "least of these"--and think maybe we need to reconsider what is "right", compared to what is "easy"!!!

Share everything...

2008-06-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

So, I saw this article, and haven't been sure which blog to post it on (as, I have 3 to choose from...and if you want to see the others, click on my profile to get connected to the other 2).

Anyway--I saw this article a while ago in the NY Times. It was quite intriuging (sp?)! Why, you ask. Well, here's why:

I consider myself "moderate" in many views that I hold. But, in some areas I am quite conservative. And, honestly, in others, some of my more conservative friends would consider me, well, not conservative.

Growing up I always wanted, and thoroughly expected to, well, not quite be where I am today. I LOVE studying, LOVE going to school, and am quite enjoying the work I get to do (although it is quite stressful), and TRULY know (not just believe), that the Lord has not only led me here, but wants me here, doing what I'm doing. Those who know me really well, and whom I have been able to explain my "life path" would much agree. But, when I was younger I thoroughly expected to have the "normal" (whatever the heck that means) Mormon's girl life. You know, the whole date, marry young, produce a couple dozen little one's, and live happily (if not exhausted) ever after. Well, life has not quite worked out that way.

Anywho--so as I embarked out on this new adventure, I had to make certain choices, which the Lord led me to make, and which I know He not only supported, but well, basically expected me to make. They were not exactly pleasant, and I still wonder how it will all possibly work out in the end, while constantly just trying to have faith in the peace and so forth that He has blessed me with. And, some of these choices may, in fact, affect the previous stuff I just talked about. Now, for one, throughout all of this, I have learned (and had it brought back to me time and again) how important the Lord holds our desires--and I've become so very grateful that He truly sees our hearts, when so many others do not, or won't. But, amidst the pressures and frustrations of trying to be the best I can be, while realizing that what may actually happen may fall short from "ideal"--I read this article, and went--geez! That would be quite nice, now wouldn't it? Means a whole ton lot of communication--constant! And, a whole ton lot of flexibility on everyone's part. And, of course, life would need to be led by the Spirit...but, I guess my point is, it all may go back to what Elder Oaks (I think it was Elder Oaks) said in this last year's Conference about just this topic. Which was basically, do the best you can, and turn the rest over to the Lord.

So, here is the link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/15/magazine/15parenting-t.html?ex=1372046400&en=40ba03d3ab9ec8de&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

This SOOO Rocks!!!

2008-06-13T20:24:00.001-07:00

Go Bellevue Community College!!!!! I so think this is just beyond awesome!!!!

Here is the link!

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/366911_bcc13.html

To "L's" Mom--or whoever you may be....

2008-06-05T17:15:00.001-07:00

Just so you know--I am a former special education teacher--who currently is training future special education teachers. Special education is a SERVICE not a PLACE--at least legally that is what it is SUPPOSED TO BE !!!!! The real problem in the story of the "voting the kid out of class" had NOTHING to do with the student and EVERYTHING TO DO with teachers who are not trained in how to TEACH ALL STUDENTS no matter what their abilities or disabilities are. It is SO possible to do this--I've seen it done, and seen AMAZING, WONDERFUL TEACHERS WHO CAN DO IT!!! But, it means that we have to get our heads out of the 1960's and realize that ALL KIDS CAN LEARN--AND THAT PUTTING THEM "AWAY" IN THE BACK OF THE SCHOOL WON'T SOLVE THE PROBLEMS. I am a FULL believer in integration and inclusion and diversity in learning. Heterogenous groups are our friends--if we are open to learn how to utilize them. RESEARCH ACTUALLY SHOWS THAT MIXING STUDENTS LEADS TO BETTER EDUCATION FOR EVERYONE--NOT WORSE!!! But, we need teachers and administrators who SUPPORT THIS, PUSH FOR IT, AND DO IT!!!! And, we need parents who are not so prejudice that they think that everything that happens in a classroom only has to do with the students. So, please do not attempt to make such biased comments on my blog again!!!!

Pure EVIL!!!

2008-05-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

Why I may never want to live in Florida!!! Welcome to the world of systematic discrimination!!!! Is this Nazi Germany, or Florida, United States of America???!!!

Teacher lets Morningside students vote out classmate, 5

By Colleen Wixon (Contact)
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Alex Barton

Photo provided by the family

Alex Barton

PORT ST. LUCIE — Melissa Barton said she is considering legal action after her son's kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.

After each classmate was allowed to say what they didn't like about Barton's 5-year-old son, Alex, his Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo said they were going to take a vote, Barton said.

By a 14 to 2 margin, the students voted Alex — who is in the process of being diagnosed with autism — out of the class.

Melissa Barton filed a complaint with Morningside's school resource officer, who investigated the matter, Port St. Lucie Department spokeswoman Michelle Steele said. But the state attorney's office concluded the matter did not meet the criteria for emotional child abuse, so no criminal charges will be filed, Steele said.

Port St. Lucie Police no longer are investigating, but police officials are documenting the complaint, she said.

Steele said the teacher confirmed the incident took place.

Portillo could not be reached for comment Friday.

Steele said the boy had been sent to the principal's office because of disciplinary issues. When he returned, Portillo made him go to the front of the room as a form of punishment, she said.

Barton said her son is in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a type of high-functioning autism. Alex began the testing process in February at the suggestion of Morningside Principal Marcia Cully.

Children diagnosed with Asperger's often exhibit social isolation and eccentric behavior..

Alex has had disciplinary issues because of his disability, Barton said. After the family moved into the area and Alex and his sibling arrived at the school in January, Alex spent much of the time in the principal's office, she said.

He also had problems at his last school, but he did not have issues during his two years of preschool, Barton said.

School and district officials have met with Barton and her son to create an individual education plan to address his difficulties, she said. Portillo attended these meetings, Barton said.

Barton said after the vote, Portillo asked Alex how he felt.

"He said, 'I feel sad,' " Barton said.

Alex left the classroom and spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office, she said.

Barton said when she came to pick up her son at the school Wednesday, he was leaving the nurse's office.

"He was shaken up," she said.

Barton said the nurse told her to talk with Portillo, who told her what happened.

Alex hasn't been back to school since then, and Barton said he won't be returning. He starts screaming when she brings him with her to drop off his sibling at school.

Thursday night, his mother heard him saying "I'm not special" over and over.

Barton said Alex is reliving the incident.

The other students said he was "disgusting" and "annoying," Barton said.

"He was incredibly upset," Barton said. "The only friend he has ever made in his life was forced to do this."

St. Lucie School's spokeswoman Janice Karst said the district is investigating the incident, but could not make any further comment.

Vern Melvin, Department of Children and Families circuit administrator, confirmed the agency is investigating an allegation of abuse at Morningside but said he could not elaborate.

Yea Orson Scott Card!!!

2008-05-16T14:17:00.001-07:00

This article was in Mormon Times today. Bless this man--bless him to the Celestial Kindgdom and back. And, may I dare to say--you can feel this way about anything, and anyone. Child development is a cyclical experience--it's a reciprocal relationship. I LOVE how he says "when you've earned your child's smile"! As one who has worked with children who were never taught to love, or be loved--who weren't smiled at as babies, who rocked themselves in order to gain some kind of stimulation, who has realized the realities that LOVE is TAUGHT and EARNED--through the tiny little things parents do every day--and don't even realize it (from getting that bottle, to smiling for 6 weeks to a birthed fetus, to changing the poop)---that LOVE takes ACTION--not just assumption--I have to say THANK YOU FOR THIS ARTICLE!!!!

In praise of what's inside the diapers
By Orson Scott Card

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Published: Wednesday, May. 14, 2008
I WATCH THE younger couples in our ward (which, these days, is most of them) lugging around diaper bags and strollers, with babes in arms crying or sleeping, toddlers trotting along or getting dragged, and I'm envious.

Child-rearing is the closest we can come to understanding God. Giving all we can when the little ones are hopelessly dependent on us. Standing back and letting them make their own mistakes when they hunger for independence long before they really understand the consequences of their own choices.

It's a glorious ride, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.

I hear other grandparents joking about how the best thing about grandkids is that you can give them back.

I don't get the joke. I think the worst thing about grandkids is that I have to give them back.

Though at the moment, the worst thing about grandkids is that all of mine live in the state of Washington, the opposite coast from me.

So I adopt children in the ward. Not officially, of course. They all have perfectly good parents. I just get hungry to hold a baby in that rocking-back-and-forth posture that puts them to sleep, or to tuck a squalling youngster into that football-carry position that often calms them down. I like to hold them by their wrists as they grip my fingers and push up from my lap, trying to stand.

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I've found that as long as I'm holding onto a child's tiny hands, I can walk for half an hour or more all around the church as the child toddles along.

Best is when you earn their smiles. Second best, when you earn their parents' smiles because you've given them a bit of a break to get something else done — like deal with the other child whose need is even greater.

When I was growing up, our society didn't give men as much of a chance to get involved with small children. Even now, there are still plenty of men at church who sit there like Buddha while their wives deal with a half-dozen squirming, squeaking children.

Are there still men who, when the weight, solidity, moistness or odor of a diaper indicates that it's time for a change, pass the kid along to Mom to change?

What a mistake.

What such men don't realize is: Diapers aren't icky. No, let me rephrase that: The diaper of your own child is never icky, as long as you accept the responsibility.

There are things we do for our own kids that would make us gag if we had to do them for somebody else's. But when it's your kid, and you accept the responsibility, then the globby item half-blocking the airflow through a nostril is something you have to take care of. If you have a tissue, great. If you don't, your finger will do just fine. Because if you don't deal with it, who will?

How sad for the men who answer that question, "My wife."

Intimate personal service is how humans bond with other people. If you find your own child's bodily excretions disgusting, it means you haven't been helping with the kids enough. Because once you've taken full responsibility and bonded with that child, even the gloppiest mess is simply a problem to be dealt with — and then, later, a funny story to tell to other parents.

My boy-children loved being tossed in the air — not far, but enough that they felt that moment of weightlessness at the top of the toss. I learned, however, that this should not take place immediately after the baby has nursed. The excitement reverses the normal alimentary flow. Did I like the taste of half-digested human milk? Not much, I can assure you. But it came from my child, so it's now just a funny story.

You become a connoisseur of diaper loads. You can discern amazing things about your child's health and diet. You also get their looks of gratitude when you clean that nasty uric acid from the sores on their bottoms and replace it with whatever balm you're using.

It feels good to know that there are things that make your child cry that you can actually do something about. It feels even better when your children are just as happy to see you as to see their mother.

You and your wife have the ritual of diaper-changing in common — you're truly partners in slime. Having seen the same things, you know when something's wrong.

There's nothing in a diaper that a grown man should be afraid of.

I'm not volunteering to change every baby in the ward, you understand. I'm just saying that I envy those of you who still have that responsibility — and privilege.

Published

2008-04-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Yea Mormon Times--thank you for being willing to publish my critical feedback. And, for being so open to what needed to be said!

For more information, see the following

http://mormontimes.com/contact.php?letters=1

P.S. For anyone who has followed my blogs for a long time--yes, I just finally figured out how to add a hyperlink!